Chapter 13 #2
“Well, we couldn’t be sure. But the way you look at her when you think no one is watching, and the way she looks at you when you’re not looking,” Linda told him gently. “It’s pretty obvious that the two of you have feelings for each other, Tom.”
“She does?” Tom asked, then immediately admonished himself. He sounded like a sixteen-year-old hoping the girl in the next row had noticed him. He could not believe what was coming out of his mouth.
“She does,” Linda confirmed. “Now tell me what happened. How did the date come about?”
Tom told her about the dinner at the bakery the night before. He told her that Lila had kept the place running yesterday while he was at the hospital. He told her about Lila’s quiet suggestions for the menu and the bakery.
“Like modernizing it,” Linda guessed.
“Yes.” Tom nodded slowly. “But...”
He swallowed. His eyes drifted back to Eleanor’s photograph on the wall.
Linda followed his gaze.
When she turned back, the understanding shone brightly in her eyes.
“Tom,” Linda said softly. “Is this panic attack all about Mom?” He nodded. There was no point in denying it. “She would have wanted you to move on.”
Tom said nothing. His throat had gone too tight.
“She wouldn’t want you to be alone, Tom.” Linda squeezed his hand. “And for the record, I know for a fact that she had been planning to modernize the bakery again before she got sick.”
Tom looked up.
“Really?” Tom asked.
“Really,” Linda confirmed.
“I didn’t know that.” Tom swallowed the lump lodged in his throat.
“She was working on a new summer menu the year before she passed away,” Linda recalled. “We talked about it on the porch of Heart House one evening that fall. She had ideas for blueberry galettes and a cold soup service for the summer crowd. She was going to bring it to you in the spring.”
Tom felt the lump in his throat deepen.
“Even if she hadn’t been,” Linda continued gently, “Tom, the bakery has been frozen in time for five years. And so has your apartment. And so has your heart.”
Tom drew a breath.
“With everything left the way it is, it feels like keeping her memory alive,” he admitted, his voice gruff.
“Tom,” Linda answered, “we keep her memory alive with our good memories and our photos. Your business needs to grow. The world has moved on, and Mom would have wanted you to move with it.” Her eyes softened. “It’s about time you got some new items on that menu.”
“I just feel like I’m betraying her,” Tom whispered.
“That’s natural.” Linda’s voice was very soft now. “I know it isn’t quite the same, but do you remember when you and Mom started dating?”
“Yes.” Tom managed a small, fond smile.
“I liked you,” Linda recalled. “Right from the first time Michael and I went over to the bakery to have lunch with Mom. You were great. Kind. Funny. You treated Michael and me like your own kids. And I wanted to accept you so much, Tom. But there was this little voice inside me that said if I let you in, my dad would fade away.”
Tom’s eyes stung and he said nothing as he didn’t trust his voice at that moment listening to his daughter’s story.
“And then I tried that horrible stunt where I tried to set you up with Mrs. Goddard’s daughter,” Linda continued.
“Oh, I remember that one,” Tom recalled, with a watery laugh. “You were a determined little thing.”
“Mom took me aside afterward.” Linda sighed. “She wasn’t angry and just like I’m telling you now, she understood what I was going through. Because she had gone through what you’re going through now over my dad.”
“Of course, it’s like things have come full circle,” Tom said. “What did your mother tell you?”
“She told me that you would never replace my father,” Linda explained. “That no one could ever take his memory from me, or take his place in my heart. But that our hearts grow, Tom. They grow to make room for other people we love.”
Tom felt the lump in his throat finally give way to two slow tears that he did not bother to wipe.
“Your mother was a wise woman, sweetheart,” Tom said hoarsely.
“She was.” Linda’s own eyes had filled. “And I was fighting myself, Tom. The day she sat me down. I was trying so hard to push you away. I felt guilty for liking you so much. Guilty because I was happy that you made my mother happy. And guilty because I really wanted you to be my new father.”
Tom’s eyes widened.
“You never told me that, Linda,” Tom whispered.
“At the time, my battle with my emotions felt like it was between my dad and me,” Linda admitted.
“After Mom and Uncle George both sat me down and helped me make sense of it, I came into this office. I stood in front of that photograph of him.” She nodded toward the picture of the young man in the army uniform.
“And I told my dad that I loved him. That no one would ever take his place in my heart. But I loved you too. And that I wasn’t moving on from him.
I was just making room for someone else to step in for him. ”
Tom swallowed hard.
“Sweetheart,” Tom rasped. “You’ve never told me that.”
“After that, I was at peace,” Linda told him, the tears rolling down her cheeks as she swiped at them.
“I kept his photo beside my bed. I kissed it goodnight every night. Before I closed my eyes, I would picture my favorite day with him. The afternoon he taught me to ride my bike without training wheels. I held that picture in my head every night for years. And I let myself love you, too.”
“Linda,” Tom managed. “Thank you for telling me this.”
“I’m telling you this for a reason, Tom,” Linda continued.
“You have to make your peace with finally letting go of Mom. Not all of her. The parts you want to keep, you keep. You keep her in your photos and your memories, and in the way you butter your toast, as she taught you. But she would never have wanted you to stop living.”
Tom drew a slow, shaking breath.
“You’re right,” Tom admitted. “I’m being an idiot.”
“No,” Linda replied gently, shaking her head.
“You’re being a widower who lost the love of his life.
And fate has just handed you another chance at love.
” She sniffed and smiled through the tears in her eyes.
“You’re just battling to open the door and accept it.
” She squeezed his hand, still resting on the desk.
“You and Lila are both lost souls, Tom. You found each other right here in Sweet Blossom Bay. Embrace that. It doesn’t mean you’re forgetting Mom.
It means you’re finally starting to live again. ”
Tom drew another breath.
“I just don’t want you and Michael, and the grandchildren, to think...” Tom stopped and cleared his throat. “I don’t want you to think I’m leaving you all behind.”
Linda’s whole face softened.
“Tom Reilly,” Linda exclaimed, “you’ll never lose us.
You’re our father. You are the grandfather to my children and Michael’s.
You’re the great-grandfather to their children.
As far as Uncle George is concerned, you are his brother.
We’re your family, Tom, and nothing is going to change that.
” Her eyes narrowed slightly, and a teasing glint shone.
“Not even if Lila hates the lot of us,” Linda added.
Tom laughed properly. The sound came up from somewhere deep in his chest and surprised him with how good it felt.
“I don’t think Lila could hate anyone,” Tom mused.
“Exactly.” Linda smiled. “And Tom. If you’re going to move on, I’m so glad it’s Lila. I think she’s wonderful for you.”
Tom stood up.
He walked around the side of the desk, Linda stood up too, and he wrapped his arms around her the way he had when she was young and had just told him, in the middle of the bakery kitchen, that she was glad her mother had married him. Linda held on to him just as fiercely now as she had then.
“I love you, kiddo,” Tom said into the top of her head, his voice thick. “Thank you for putting this old man’s head straight.”
“Any time, Dad,” Linda whispered. “And I love you too.”
Tom held her for a long moment longer.
When he stepped back, Linda’s eyes shone, and so did his. They both pretended not to notice.
“Right,” Linda announced briskly. “Now go and stop feeling guilty.”
Tom nodded. He walked to the door. Linda’s voice stopped him on the threshold.
“When is the date?” Linda asked. “I hope not tonight as you already have a date with your family.”
He smiled at his daughter. “It’s tomorrow night,” Tom answered. “I told her I wanted to look over her ideas for the bakery and the new menu.”
“Where are you taking her?” Linda asked.
“I haven’t booked anywhere yet,” Tom told her.
“Take her to The Driftwood at the marina,” Linda suggested. “It’s quiet. The booth seats are private. They have a candle on every table, and the waitstaff doesn’t hover. You can hear yourself talk. The food is excellent. Their grilled snapper is the best on the coast.”
“The Driftwood,” Tom repeated. “I’ll look into it, thanks, love.”
“You won’t regret it,” Linda assured him.
“What would I have done without you, sweetheart?” Tom murmured.
“Panicked and canceled the date,” Linda teased him. “Then lived the rest of your life as a grumpy, lonely old man.”
Tom laughed. He shook his head and pulled the office door open. “I’ll see you and the kids at Heart House at seven.”
Tom left the office, pulling the door closed behind him.
He walked back through the quiet corridor of Hearts Hotel, past the front desk, and out into the warm afternoon light. Tom climbed into his truck and sat for a moment with both hands on the wheel.
The knot that had been sitting in his chest since the moment Lila had landed in his arms had eased.
Not vanished. He was a man who had been a widower for five years, and the easing of any knot of that size took its own time to untangle.
But it had eased, and the breath he drew in the parking lot of Hearts Hotel was the first full breath he had taken since he had walked out of Reilly’s that afternoon.
Then a smile split his face.
“Tomorrow night, I have a date,” Tom said out loud as he turned the key in the ignition and started the truck.
Suddenly, he was looking forward to the next night,