Chapter 6
six
PRESENT DAY
KATE
My heart thuds as a tall man with pale blonde hair steps through the front doorway.
He’s wearing khaki slacks and a navy button-down, and my mother—the evil, gracious hostess she is—takes his suede peacoat and hangs it in the closet.
Tanner takes in the scene before his eyes meet mine, and he seems to register what he just stepped into.
You poor sucker.
I don’t know what Mom told him, but he looks every bit as blindsided as I am.
“Everyone, meet Tanner Evans. He works with your father at the hospital and wasn’t able to go home for the holidays.” Mom pouts, clinging to his muscular arm like her Kentucky beauty pageant days aren’t thirty years behind her. “Come in, don’t be shy.”
Liza snaps out of it and greets him, followed by Cameron.
I stay cemented to the plush carpet, and I wonder if it’s possible to die from sheer willpower. Tanner steps over to my father, who stands and shakes his hand.
“Hello, sir. It’s uh, great to see you outside of work.” Tanner’s voice is deep but has a warm fullness to it.
“Likewise. Welcome to our home.” Dad gestures grandly like a cheap auto salesman.
I cross one cashmere arm over my stomach, still holding my cranberry crap-tail by my bare collarbone as Tanner approaches me. He’s tall. Not Brandon monstrosity tall, but close. The nearer he gets, I notice there are green flecks in his hazel eyes. Not Brandon green, but… I digress.
“And you must be Kate.” Tanner graces me with a shy smile of straight teeth, which look somehow small on his broad face. His eyebrows are blonde like the neatly trimmed stubble on his angled jaw.
“You’re right. I am Kate.” I nod, then lower my voice to add, “And you just got Vivian Rochester-Chenned.”
He gives a good natured chuckle, rocking back on his heels with his hands in his pockets. “Gotta say, I’m not sure I’m enjoying it.”
I can’t help a small grin from forming. “Me neither.”
He laughs softly, and I decide I like the sound, but… that’s about it. From the tips of his short blonde hair to his oxford leather shoes, the man seems boring. Nice, but boring. Sure, he’s easy on the eyes with an equally easy smile, but he seems like the kind of guy Liza would date.
Mom clinks a fork against her glass like we’re at a wedding reception. The awkward tinkling sound fills the room, and Liza and I exchange an amused look. Her eyes flick to Tanner then me, and she lifts a shoulder with a hopeful smile. I give an almost imperceptible shake of my head.
“Let’s all move to the dining room for dinner,” Mom says.
We file out, me behind Liza, who gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, and Tanner behind me. Of course, the glamorous tablescape already has enough settings for six.
I shoot daggers at my mom, but her scarlet lipstick only pulls wider. Fresh pine boughs and frosted cranberries adorn the center of the long table. There are rows of catered food lining the kitchen counter to the left, small heating flames warming each tin.
Sure enough, Tanner is herded into the seat beside me and across from Cameron, who seems thrilled to have another guy around. My parents bookend the table, Mom beside the fool she cajoled into this blind date, and Dad, who's fallen mute again, on the other end.
Dad closes his eyes and offers up a prayer of thanks for this gracious holiday, but I can’t help squinting sideways at the newcomer. Even though he was manipulated into staying for an awkward family dinner, at least he’s being a good sport.
I take a deep breath and recommit myself to kindness. But there’s no way I’m giving this guy any degree of hope. The prayer ends, and we fill our gleaming porcelain plates. I poke and prod at the orange glazed ham and mashed potatoes.
Tanner’s broad shoulder keeps brushing mine, and the heat of it makes me uncomfortable.
I wish he would just pull the whole “fake phone call emergency” like a normal person and get out of here.
But the longer he chats with my parents, the more comfortable he seems to get.
His thick forearm rests dangerously close to mine on the tabletop.
If he pulls any semblance of a move, I have no qualms protecting myself with my fork.
Liza hangs her head sideways with a pointed look, and I know I shouldn’t go the entire evening without talking to the poor guy. So, I temporarily holster my fork and clear my throat.
“I assume you’re a surgeon, too?” I ask.
Tanner responds with a deep chuckle. “I wish, but no. I’m a physician assistant.”
I light up. “I’m an assistant too! Well, an assistant curator at a museum. No need for scalpels there.” I grin.
“Surgery is often life-threatening, Katherine.” Dad spears me with a disapproving scowl. “Nothing to be joked about.”
“And Katherine isn’t planning on being an assistant forever,” Mom titters. “Right, dear?”
She’s joking, right? She should know by now I’ll never leave the museum. Does she really think my awesome job will humiliate me? I want to make an annoying buzzer sound in her face and say, “Next!”
“Nope.” I smile cheerily. “Just an assistant. Blythe Barlow is one of the curators there, and I couldn’t be happier assisting her with anything she needs.”
Liza’s foot meets my shin under the table, but I ignore it. Maybe I’m just not cut out to be the bigger person.
Tanner’s smiling hazel eyes flit to mine, and he tips a little shrug. “If it makes you happy, then more power to you, I guess.”
I hear Mom’s fork clatter, and my smile grows. I’ll buy the guy a real drink after this if he helps me stick it to my mom. But then again, that would require a second date, so maybe I’ll mail him a gift card instead.
“It does make me happy. Thank you.” I beam at him, then scoop a giant mouthful of potatoes so I won’t have to talk for a while.
Cameron clears his throat and taps his own glass in a poor imitation of my mom.
The awkward sound sends my eyes flying to Liza’s.
We both roll our lips, and I try hard not to laugh—especially since my mouth is still full.
But maybe regurgitated potatoes would be the final nail in the coffin for Tanner, so I’m keeping that option open.
Cameron stands and takes Liza by the hand. “I just want to thank you all for being so kind and welcoming this last year.”
Liza looks at him like he hung each individual star in the sky just for her, and I can’t help the twinge of jealousy in my stomach.
Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen a lot of examples of true love, but the way they look at each other does something to me.
It’s the same look Val and Amantha share—with complete devotion and acceptance of the other.
I would have to be dead inside not to want that.
But that thought alone curls in my stomach, because that would mean letting someone close enough to accept me.
“Liza, this last week in Greece was the best time of my life. This last year has been the best, and it’s all thanks to you.”
I watch a candlelit tear leak out of Liza’s eye, and my heart bursts for her. She deserves someone to treat her like Cameron does.
“You’ve taught me to go for the things I want in life. And I want you. Forever.”
Liza gasps as Cameron pulls a glittering diamond ring from his pocket and drops to one knee.
The air in my lungs whooshes out as if from a physical punch.
Cameron acknowledges my parents, who are both stargazing at the happy couple.
Tanner’s silent, like he knows he doesn’t belong in this moment. I savagely hope he regrets not ditching out sooner.
“Liza. I want you for forever. I want your cheerful, off-key morning songs.”
My face falls, but I heave my cheeks back up.
Those are our songs. We made them up to make fun of the lame ones sung at sleepaway camp each summer. I try to suck in a breath but can’t.
“I want to be the one who kills your spiders and pinches your nose while you swallow medicine,” Cameron says.
Liza lets out a watery laugh beneath shining eyes.
I’m her spider killer. And when Liza gets overtly wimpy when she’s sick, I’m the nose pincher. How long can someone go without breathing?
The edges of my vision tilt as Cameron clutches my sister’s hand.
“Liza, make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”
Liza nods so fast I think she may sprain her neck. “Yes, Yes! A gazillion times yes!” She ignores the ring and flings herself forward, peppering him with sunshine and kisses. Cameron chuckles.
“Babe, you’re forgetting something.” He holds up the massive square-cut diamond, and Liza belly laughs the way she only does when she’s truly ecstatic. The last time I heard it was her birthday last year when I gave her a printed sweatshirt with five of my ugliest selfies plastered across it.
She wears it every time she’s sad.
The diamond skates across her finger, and she clutches her hand to her chest. I didn’t realize I was also clutching my chest, except my heart feels like a diamond crushed into powder.
I hide the tremble in my hands beneath the table and grip my tights.
The bite of my fingernails gives me something to focus on.
Pain to ground what feels like the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had.
The room erupts in celebration, so I force a smile and stand to congratulate them. Cameron loops me into an awkward side hug that I return.
I’m so stupid. How could I not have seen this coming? They’ve been dating for over a year. They are clearly in love and want to devote their lives to each other.
Liza’s shoulder-length hair flutters in my face as she throws herself around me, and I have to pinch myself again to fight back my tears.
Out of all of us, Liza deserves her happily ever after. And I am happy for her!
So why do I feel like my life raft is drifting farther away while I drown?