Chapter 19
nineteen
PAST
KATE
“Kate.”
“Hmm…” I mumble, stubbornly clinging to my deep sleep. The sorority house is quiet, so I surmise it must be pretty early.
“Kate.” Brandon repeats, waking me by brushing his lips across my temple. “I need to leave soon.”
“No, you don’t.” My protest is half-yawn, half-plea.
He chuckles, his rough morning voice warming my forehead. “Yeah, I do.”
“Nope.” I pull my pajama-clad five-foot-four body onto his and try to pin him down. I yank my comforter over our heads, sealing us in. “We’re quitting our jobs. College degrees are lame. We can stay here forever.”
“Is that so?” The vibrations of his voice rumble through his bare chest, and I snuggle closer.
“Yes, it’s so.”
“As much as I know you hate to be wrong, love, you are.”
His kiss ruffles my hair within the confines of our impromptu blanket fort. He fiddles with the strap of my black silk tank top.
“But could I take you to dinner tonight?”
My head pops up like a deranged gopher. “What day is it?”
“It’s January 29th—Friday. Why?”
I roll off his chest with a groan. “Tonight is the Lunar New Year Parade. I promised Liza I’d go with my family.”
Brandon considers this for a while. “And your Mom still hasn’t talked to you? Not since they kicked you out?”
“Nope. They’ve only communicated through Liza.”
A muscle in his jaw feathers. “Was law school really that important to them?”
I sigh. “I don’t think it’s truly about law school. Not anymore, at least. I think they hate that they can’t control me. I was always their puppet, and now that the strings are cut, they don’t know how to act. It’s probably all my fault, since I was the one who changed the rules.”
Brandon’s eyes cut to mine. “Don’t make excuses for them. Their behavior is childish and petty. No parent should be able to treat their kid this way.”
I trace a finger along his chest. “So your parents must be pretty great then?”
I feel him stiffen before he relaxes. “My mom’s got her issues, but she’s the kindest person you’ll ever meet. She’d give you the coat off her back. She’s also the worst cook.” He chuckles. “The fire department knows her by name.”
My laugh is soft. “She sounds awesome. I’d love to meet her sometime.”
Brandon rolls over until we’re face to face on my pillow.
“You would?” he asks.
My eyes rake over his tanned skin, green eyes still hooded with sleep, hair mussed against my pillowcase. I lift his fine gold chain necklace from his chest and roll it between my fingers.
“I would. Isn’t that what boyfriends and girlfriends do? Meet the parents? I think I’d like to meet your mom and dad.”
Something dark flashes in his expression before it’s gone.
He gives me a gentle smile. “Then I wanna meet yours. Why don’t I come to the parade with you tonight? I’ll be there if anything goes down with your parents.” He winks. “My motorcycle makes a great getaway.”
I laugh, but it feels like someone is pouring warm syrup inside my chest. It’s sticky and sweet, but the sensation is also new and slightly unsettling. Brandon smiles down at me with so much adoration, I’m unable to swallow for a moment.
If Brandon comes tonight, will I wake up tomorrow with him still adoring me? Or will him being around my family have him realizing just how disappointing I can be?
“I think I’m scared,” I whisper.
“I know. That’s why I’ll be there. Just say the word, and we’ll leave.”
I nod, knowing that Brandon misunderstood me but too terrified to explain myself.
“Text me the details, and I’ll meet you there.” He draws my lips into his with a languid kiss that tingles in my toes. Then he’s edging out of my bed, pulling back on his shirt, and closing my bedroom door.
I stare at the ceiling, at the morning light growing brighter against the textured surface. I don’t know how it’s possible for a heart to feel so heavy, yet light enough to be jolting around. Unease continues to squirm in my gut, so I pull my comforter back over my head and block out the world.
I can’t change who I am any more than I can change the way my family thinks of me. And beyond the confines of my rose-colored bubble, something is becoming clearer with each passing day.
Disappointing Brandon is only a matter of time.
PRESENT
KATE
I check the time on my phone. It’s almost eleven p.m. The Historic Scavenger Hunt lasted longer than expected, and Tanner is driving me home in his white sedan.
He’s quiet but seems content in the dark cab of the car.
I fiddle with the hem of my gold mini-dress, cursing myself for the millionth time.
Engaging in Brandon’s impromptu scavenger race was a mistake, and I’m beyond annoyed that I got sucked into his little game. The way my heart hammered as he cornered me inside the Egyptian exhibit, the way his mesmerizing green eyes challenged mine…
I stroke the ends of my long curls, gathering them mindlessly in front of one shoulder. The echo of adrenaline still pulses through my veins.
For that split second I was running to the elevator, I felt alive. Free.
Reckless.
And that’s exactly why I blew that stupid kiss to Brandon. Because I wasn’t thinking. I’d forgotten myself, what happened between us, and about Tanner.
Who is what I want.
Well, really, I want what Liza and Cam have. And as much as I dislike crediting my mom for bringing them together, it’s true. Maybe she saw something in Tanner that I haven’t seen yet.
But Tanner couldn’t understand why I wanted us to check off our scavenger hunt list so fast. I chalked it up to a secret competition between the staff, but he offered the same wary smile he’d given me in Chef Conti’s kitchen before continuing the evening in his steady, reliable way.
And it was exactly what I needed. Who I needed.
Someone who could think straight for both of us.
An anchor when I felt so much electricity buzzing within me that I could combust. I sigh a tiny breath of relief.
Maybe I’ve misinterpreted Tanner’s calming presence as boring.
He’s every bit my opposite, but is that a bad thing?
Maybe true love doesn’t feel like your soul is ablaze.
Maybe it’s a slow river with a wide current, deep and steady.
A minuscule flutter of hope swoops in my stomach. It’s not quite a butterfly, but I’ll take it. Tanner catches a glimpse of my tiny smile, and one of his own widens across his face.
“You happy, Kate?”
I nod, weaving my hand through his across the console. “I am.”
“Good.” He lifts my hand to his lips, tentatively brushing a soft kiss across my knuckles. “I’m happy you’re happy.”
I smile and relax further into my seat. Tanner maneuvers up to the locked gate of the Waterborough community. It’s been working rather consistently lately, and I appreciate it. Especially since Hopefully Yours is still out there.
Tanner rolls down his window, and I lean over and punch in the code. The gates swing open, and a minute later, his car idles in my driveway.
Ever the gentleman, Tanner walks me to my porch. His eyes flick to the front door a few times, clearly hoping I’ll invite him inside.
Our relationship is progressing, but I’m not about to jeopardize what little wins we’ve gained by moving too quickly.
I’ve fast-tracked almost every relationship in the past, and look where that’s left me—broken, vulnerable, and far too easily swayed by hot guys on motorcycles.
My body betrays me by tingling at the mere thought of Brandon, and I flush with shame.
The edges of Tanner’s eyes crinkle as he smiles, bathed in a halo of porch light. I can’t help but smile back. His calming presence is starting to feel familiar. Dr. Teeth stays silent, seemingly happy just to be near me.
It is kind of adorable.
Tentatively, I tug Tanner’s tuxedo lapels and press my lips to his for the first time. They’re chilly and unfamiliar, but soft and yielding. After a shocked moment, Tanner responds. His hands brush inch by inch up my sides to cradle my neck, and it soon becomes obvious he is a fairly decent kisser.
While the kiss is enjoyable, the swoop of hope I felt earlier was either indigestion or a butterfly that is now faking dead.
Shouldn’t this kiss leave me breathless and aching for more?
My disobedient mind wanders all over the freaking place.
When I go inside, do I want to take a bubble bath before I watch my trashy reality TV? Or after?
I break the kiss. Tanner’s eyes are shining, and a pink tinge heats his blonde stubble.
“Wow, um… Wasn’t expecting that,” he says.
“Me neither.” My voice sounds all gravelly and breathy, but it’s not because I’m hot and bothered. I’m panicking. How am I supposed to make this work if there is zero chemistry between us?
“I… should go inside,” I stutter.
Tanner nods, bright-eyed and blushing. “G’night, Kate.” He bestows another shy kiss to my lips before leaving.
Pressing my shoulder blades against the inside of my door, I take in my silent living area. The dim kitchen light spills into the room, and everything looks exactly as I left it.
I don’t think Liza came home today at all.