Chapter 30
GRACE
LITTLE GESTURE
Looking down at Jake’s phone, it’s jarring to see this scene captured by a stranger. It was only last night and I remember being so frustrated with him. In that picture though, even if he’s barely touching me, it’s impossible not to see the built up tension pulling us together.
“Grace.” Tommy’s deep voice snaps me to attention and I turn to see him focusing those blue eyes on me. “I’m so sorry. I should have been more careful. I should have kept my shit together. Are you OK? What do you want to do?”
I see the worry etched across his face. I see the stress and anxiety. I already see that my worries are nothing compared to his. I can see how this has nagged at him for years and years. It makes sense why he likes his privacy back in Jackson or Bend.
I take a deep breath and nod, trying to reassure him. “Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.” My eyes drift back to the phone and I point at it. “How big of a blog is that?”
Jake grabs his phone and tucks it into his pocket. “It’s not huge, just a music scene blog really. Lots of Teal Tigers fans though.”
I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Good. That’s perfect. My family practically lives under a rock and doesn’t really use social media.”
Alright. Maybe there’s a chance no one in my family will find out before I have a chance to talk to them first.
“Do you think you can get them to take that post down?” Tommy’s voice is still terse when he looks at Jake and I can see the tension in his jaw.
“I already reached out but haven’t heard back yet. I’ll stay on them and see what I can do.”
“Good.” Tommy nods and turns to me, rubbing his thumb over my cheek. “You sure you’re—”
I raise my brows and give him a pointed look. “Stop worrying about me.”
He sighs and drops his eyes. “You’re right.” I reach out and rub his arm, tracing my thumb over the faded barbed wire tattoo on his bicep.
“Anything I can do to help?” We turn to see Sutton, sitting there with his hand raised.
I shake my head before Tommy tips his chin to him. “Just get your shit together and be ready to meet us at the airport. I already want to get back to Jackson. We can head back a couple days early. I’ve already had enough of this shit here.”
He looks at his best friend and brother exuding confidence and determination.
It’s almost enough to convince me that everything is OK, but I see that current of tension beneath the surface, coursing through him, up his spine, and to the spot he’s rubbing at the base of his neck.
I can only imagine that living in the public eye, under a microscope — the way he did for so many years — must’ve been incredibly hard.
That part of his life seems like a distant, alternate reality, so far removed from the largely quiet, private life he has now.
I told myself it wouldn’t bother me and it still doesn’t, but now I see that he was right. As much as he doesn’t want to have my life impacted by his past, it was still bound to happen at some point.
All I can think of now is that I want what he wants — to be back in Jackson.
I grab my mimosa from Stacy and turn to walk back where Tommy and Sutton are sitting across from each other in the middle of the plane’s cabin. I stand in front of Tommy, his eyes are fixed on me. “OK. It’s official. You’ve completely ruined me.”
He looks up at me with a flirty smirk. “Are you telling me I’m spoiling my girl?”
I cock my head and shrug. “Maybe, but can you promise to stop using this jet like an Uber? I’m having serious struggles about the environmental impact.”
He laughs and I give him a slap on the wrist after taking a sip of my drink. “I’m serious. This is so extra!”
“Fine,” he says before taking a drink of his coffee. “No promises, but I will try.” He lifts my hand and brushes his lips over the back of it with a gentle kiss. Then he pulls me down into his lap and I squeak a surprised laugh, grasping my drink in my other hand trying not to spill it.
He wraps his arms around me, winding his fingers into the hand he's still holding. I curl into him, resting my head on his shoulder, breathing in that comforting, bergamot scent.
I do my best not to worry about what people think or needing validation from others.
That doesn’t change the fact that I like him being so comfortable with me in front of one of his best friends.
It feels reassuring. That little gesture, holding my hand — holding me — in front of his friend, feels bigger now.
“Alright, I’m going to go read.” We turn to see Sutton stand up from his seat opposite us. He gives us a wink, grabs his book, and walks to the back of the plane, sprawling out on the couch and opening his book.
Tommy chuckles to himself. “He’s such a dork.”
“I don’t know. I think he’s kind of sweet.” I look over to see just a hint of worry creep into his eyes. “Oh, don’t tell me you're the jealous type?”
He smirks and squeezes my hand. “Not at all. I know you’re mine and I’m yours.” He reaches into his pocket and grabs his phone and headphones, putting one into his ear. I stop him before he puts the other one in, plucking it from his fingers and putting it in my ear. He gives me a bemused look.
“Wait, your phone’s on?” I ask, pointing at his phone.
He nods slowly, looking at me like I’m crazy. “Yeah, we have WiFi on board.”
“So what are we listening to?” I already put my phone and headphones away, but I also want to listen to what makes him happy. I want to know everything about him.
He turns his phone away from me, scrolling with his thumb before clicking play. He turns to me with a pleased grin.
I lean against him and he wraps his arm around me as the sound of a distorted electric guitar and rhythmic bass plays in my ear.
It’s followed by that eery, hoarse voice belting out lyrics with a raw edge.
I listened to all kinds of music growing up, especially what my brothers and parents liked, and I would know this grunge song anywhere.
Tommy rests his head on top of mine while my eyes flutter shut. I listen to the song as he starts to talk quietly.
“I grew up listening to Nirvana CDs. There was this one older foster kid in the same house as me and we’d listen to them all night.
I was maybe ten or eleven years old, which in hindsight, was hardly age appropriate.
” His chest rumbles with a low laugh. “But it wasn’t like I had the best supervision in that house.
I remember the kids at school would talk about waiting for their favorite band’s new albums to come out so they could buy the CD. ”
“CDs? God, you’re old. Did you carry around one of those portable players and everything?”
He laughs through his nose and presses a quick kiss to my forehead. “You’re something, you know that?”
I shrug. “You’re right though. They had a lot of great albums. It’s hard to pick a favorite.”
I yawn and hold onto his arm wrapped around me.
I feel him nod, dragging his stubble through my hair.
“Yeah. It’s probably weird and morbid, but something about their music always grounded me.
I think that’s also when I really understood death for the first time, realizing I would never get a new album from my favorite band.
I don’t know, I think maybe that’s how I ended up right here though.
No drugs, no groupies, just babysitting my bandmates and nursing a few drinks. ”
I tilt my head enough to look into his eyes and see that nostalgic, contemplative look in them.
I reach up, cupping his cheek with my hand. I look into his crystalline blue eyes, wanting him to know I heard him and love that he just opened up like that.
“I think we all respond to tragedy differently. Sometimes, I feel like I make it too much of a point to live what I think is a full, spontaneous life.” I look down in my lap, looking at his hand holding mine.
“I try to take advantage of every second I get and sometimes, I forget to slow down and enjoy what I have.”
“Sounds like we both still have some lessons to learn.”
I nod and lean into him, soaking up his warmth. He presses play and we spend the rest of the flight just like that.
One thought occupies my mind the whole way back to Jackson. Maybe this is why he came into my life when he did. Maybe he’s the calm and steady to my fast and free.
I buckle my seatbelt as Tommy puts the car in drive to make the trip from the airport’s private terminal back to his house in Jackson. He reaches across the center console and rests his hand on my knee. I love the contact, but I lift his hand and place it back on the wheel.
“Sorry, I still get uneasy in cars when it comes to distracted driving.” His eyes briefly flick to mine and they’re laced with concern. With my history, it’s something that’s always bothered me that I’ve never been able to shake.
“No, you’re right. I got it. Hands at ten and two,” he says, nodding.
“But you can think about putting that hand much higher when we’re back at your house in twenty minutes.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He grins, popping his dimple. “Besides that, anything else you want to do tonight? Thoughts on dinner? We could stop into Gloria’s and see Sutton.”
“That could be fun.” I reach into my bag and pull out my phone, turning it back on. “I should check in with Josie too and see what she’s up to. I didn’t tell her we were coming back a day early.”
As soon as my phone screen lights up, message after message appears. So many notifications pop up that it vibrates nonstop in my hand.
“Baby, if you wait twenty minutes, you won’t need your vibrator. I’ll take care of you.” He waggles his brows and I feel that heat creep up my neck.
“I thought you said you weren’t the jealous type? And no, it’s my phone. It’s blowing up.”
I open a string of text messages, all from Veronica.
V: OMG.
V: What were you and TJ doing last night? Are you and TJ a thing?!
V: Call me! I have so many questions.
V: Also… don’t get mad. I might have freaked out and showed Tanner.
The last two text messages came in only about 15 minutes ago.
V: Jake called Tanner to make sure the driveway was clear. Your brother might be waiting at TJ’s house.
V: Wait… OMG! Are you staying there now? I love your brother, but you’re seriously living my teenage fantasy right now of dating Tommy Jacob from Teal Tigers.
Shit. I scroll the string of messages to see more of the same.
I know Jake said it was just on a music blog, but he did say a lot of the followers were Teal Tigers mega fans.
I should have known Veronica probably followed that blog and would see it.
I almost love her enthusiasm, but it’s the messages about my brother that have my knee bouncing in the passenger seat.
“Everything OK?” Tommy asks.
I hum and nod rapidly. “Yep, totally fine.” My voice turns into a nervous squeak.
“Grace.” His eyes flick to mine for a second before going back to the road, but long enough for his smile to fade and his lips to press together into a line. “Why don’t I believe you?”