Chapter 44
GRACE
MANGY MOOSE
“I thought you were an Olympic athlete?” Josie calls back from further up the trail, keeping proper distance ahead of Kayleigh and me.
She’s far enough away I can just make out the colorful silhouette of her ski gear, but even from here I can still hear her teasing, snarky tone.
She didn’t earn her nickname, Backcountry Bunni, for no reason.
She’s just leaving the thicket of trees below Cody Peak.
This high up the mountain, we have a clear view of the jagged granite mountain ridge.
The peak juts out into the blue horizon, high above us, to our left.
The ridge line extends to the right, curving around us to form a large horseshoe shaped bowl, framed by rocky chutes and cliffs on either side.
Great for wide open skiing in the middle.
A smile spreads across my face when I see the pristine mountain without a single track from other skiers.
That’s why we got up at the crack of dawn and hiked this far, to ski down these beautiful mountains and paint our fresh tracks in the untouched snow.
On a mid-March day like this, the temperatures aren’t brutally cold like they were a month ago, making the trek a little more comfortable.
At this point, I’ve even shed my outer jacket and stowed it in my pack after working up a sweat.
Kayleigh lets out a long frustrated groan, as she makes deliberate strides on her skis up the path that Josie cleared ahead of us. “I go down mountains, not up them!”
I chuckle and call out between heavy breaths. “We’ll take a break soon before we hike up to the top of the ridge line.”
She lifts one of her ski poles in the air and I can see that she’s giving me a thumbs up.
I shake my head, still working my way along, slowly bringing up the rear of our group, on the trail.
Kayleigh has made it her life’s work to be the best in the world at going down a mountain as fast as humanly possible.
I know Josie might be giving her shit, but I’m impressed with Kayleigh and glad she finally made it out with me.
We’ve gone backcountry skiing only a couple times before, but always back in Utah and never here on what still feels like my home turf.
She’s more than holding her own, hiking up a mountain on skis with a full pack of safety gear, snacks, water, and extra layers.
It’s not easy.
We’ve had to be careful on our way up. With the fresh snow, there are steeper parts of the mountain that are holding plenty of fresh snow that isn’t stable after the storm last night.
I take another stride, feeling my legs and muscles protest. No matter how much time I spend hiking or in the gym, this is never easy.
I’m starting to think that maybe Tommy was right.
The idea of being back in bed with him sounds blissful compared to how sore my legs are.
I don’t think he realized how close he was to keeping me in bed this morning.
One more sweet kiss. One more thrust of his hips against me and I would have been all his today. That would be if I wasn’t already completely and hopelessly his forever.
Peeking back up the wooded trail, I see that Josie and Kayleigh are waiting at the edge of the trees. A few more strides and I’m there with them.
“Why do you do this all the time?” Kayleigh already has her skis off, leaning them against a tree while she catches her breath.
Josie laughs. “Not all of us get pampered out on the mountain as professional skiers with free lift passes. That shit gets expensive.” She gestures her gloved hand around the mountain, just outside of the boundaries of the ski resort.
“This is free and there aren’t any lines. Just have to earn your turns.”
“Yep. Free, a killer workout, and no lines. Hard to beat.” I pop my skis off and take a drink from my hydration backpack, smiling back at Josie. “Not that you’re hurting for cash.”
Kayleigh rolls her eyes at Josie. “Definitely earned my turns today after that hike.” Josie laughs before Kayleigh looks around us, taking in the heart stopping views.
I see the subtle approval in her eyes. That’s the look that makes it all worth it, when someone finally gets it.
She takes a drink from her pack, smacking her lips. “So, where to next?”
I gesture toward the more open part of the ridge line, where it’s less steep. “We’ll go along this tree line, across that snowfield and work our way further up that face of the mountain. Once we’re up there, we’ll stop for lunch, and then it’s all downhill after that.”
She lets out a breath and shakes her head, clearly seeing that the hiking portion isn’t over yet. “Let’s get to it, I guess.”
We all take one last drink of water before clicking back into our skis.
Josie slings her pack over her shoulders and straps it on, heading out to lead the way again.
The snow is heavy and the trip up the mountain is backbreaking today after nearly eight inches fell overnight, but that is what makes it worth it.
I am going to crush some pasta and wine tonight at Gloria’s. Refueling with carbs and Cabernet already sounds amazing compared to the granola bars and peanut butter and jelly sandwich I packed for lunch.
After Kayleigh gets far enough ahead of me, I start behind her, still hugging the tree line before going higher up the slope.
This area of the mountain is my favorite.
The landscape transitions from forested woods on the lower elevations to rocky, barren snow covered terrain on the higher elevations on the way up to the peak above us.
It’s breathtakingly beautiful, but also a harsh reminder that Mother Nature can be a coldhearted bitch. Dead trees, taken out from falling boulders or the brutal climate, dot the mountainside.
Following the trail, I see Josie working her way up the far side of the horseshoe shaped bowl, below one of the bands of rocks. Kayleigh’s crossing the snowy center of the bowl, we’ll eventually ski after we reach the top.
When I work my way out into the open area, past the trees, I have a clear view of the valley below us — down the steep, treacherous part of the mountainside. Like the last time I was out with Josie, my eyes find their way to the cluster of houses near the bottom of the ski resort.
Warmth spreads through me, wondering what Tommy is doing back at home. After spending so many nights with him there, I’m sure he’s either in the gym taking care of himself or in the studio, working on another new song.
The sound of a tree branch cracking behind me reminds me that I need to focus on my surroundings and I stop in my tracks.
It’s March, it should be too early for a Grizzly bear to be waking up from hibernation. I whip my head around and scan the trees behind me, when I finally spot movement near a large pine tree. I smile when I see the large, lumbering figure emerge from the trees.
Freaking Agnes.
That damned mangy moose made her way up from the village. Probably looking for something to munch on, where there isn’t much competition for it, after eating everything good in the village all winter. I’m sure it barely took any effort to get up here with those freakishly long moose legs.
I shake my head, muttering to myself when a shadow behind Agnes draws my gaze back. A small calf comes out from behind her, munching on branches and bark from the same tree as Agnes.
Josie calls from way up ahead, near the rocky outer part of the bowl, with a shrill whistle, snapping my eyes up to her.
I can see her waving her hands, gesturing for me to catch up.
I point back behind me, toward Agnes, when I hear the sound of hooves beating against the ground.
I look over my shoulder to see her and her calf sprinting away from the trees, down the steep part of the mountain below us.
Shit shit shit.
After seeing me, and hearing Josie, they must have been startled.
From where she is, she would have had no way of knowing they were there.
I watch in horror as they run down and across the steep mountain face below Kayleigh and me.
It’s covered in heavy, unstable snow. Seconds later, that damned moose and her calf are out of sight, farther down the mountain, and the snow below Kayleigh and me is intact.
I let out a long, relieved breath seeing that the slope is still holding. I collect myself and start to continue on the path when I hear it and see it all at once.
A crackling sound is followed by a long, jagged fracture in the snow that spreads along the path those damn moose took.
Seconds later, the top layer of snow begins to slide down the steep terrain.
My eyes flash to Josie who's far enough up, along the rocks, she should be safe. Then I look to Kayleigh who’s still above the faltering snow like me.
Frantically, I yell and wave at Kayleigh, trying to get her attention.
With our climbing covers on our skis to go uphill, we’re in no position to ski out of danger quickly.
She turns and our eyes meet, just as I hear the roaring sound of the snow base beneath of us give way.
I see the moment abject, gut-wrenching terror sets in as she realizes what’s happening around us.
Just as she begins to open her mouth to yell something, I feel the snow beneath my skis begin to slide.
In an instant, I’m being pulled down the mountain in a brutally strong current of snow.
I grab and claw for purchase on anything, but it does no good.
I feel myself get pulled under like I’m caught in a riptide.
Everything around me goes by in a blur of blinding white, with flashes of blue from the sky, as I’m tossed and turned in the cascading snow.
For a split second, those flashes of blue make me think of seeing TJ when I left this morning.
The deep, rumbling sound of the avalanche and cracking branches and tree limbs unite into a chaotic, deafening maelstrom around me, muffling my screams. After what feels like an eternity, everything stops, except for my heart, which feels like it’s beating hard enough to jump out of my chest.
I open my eyes to blackness and eerie silence.
Every fiber of my body aches, but I still try to move. I wiggle my feet and hands, and try to shake my head, but I’m met with the resistance of cold, dense snow in every direction.
The always optimistic side of me calls that a small victory that I don’t seem to have any broken bones. But that doesn’t stop reality from setting in though.
No. No. No. I tell myself no, but I already know the reality deep down.
I’m buried under feet of snow.
Kayleigh probably is too.
My only hope is Josie, or someone else that might be out in the mountains nearby, saw what happened and can save us before time runs out.
I do my best, trying not to panic, to conserve air and energy. I think of one calming, steadying thing…
This isn’t how I go out, because this morning will not be the last time I see him.