Chapter 8 Do What You Want and Fuck the Rest
EIGHT
DO WHAT YOU WANT AND FUCK THE REST
SARAH
It took a couple of weeks, but John finally said I was a mediocre bartender.
Yay.
On my way to my first shift bartending an all-you-can-drink night, I got a random call from my mother.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Sarah. It’s Mom.”
“Yes, Mom, I know. Your picture pops up when you call. Oh, and there’s this thing called caller ID. We’ve had the technology for decades now.”
“No need to get smart.” She laughed.
I fidgeted with my keys and rocked back and forth on the stairs, my eyes not straying from the door.
“How are you doing, honey? It’s been a while since you called.”
Gee, I wonder why. Couldn’t be because I keep getting sent to voicemail.
“Sorry, I’ve been busy with tutoring, bartending, and the summer program.”
“But you still have time to rest, right?”
Rolling my eyes, I bit the inside of my cheek.
“We just want to make sure you’re ready to finish out your undergrad strong. You know Emmet had a hard last year.”
Emmet’s “hard last year” ended with him getting into an Ivy League law school.
“Don’t worry, Mom. I’m all set to get my master’s next year.”
She hummed. “I still can’t imagine why you’d want to be a kindergarten teacher.”
“Mom.” I was seconds away from laying it all out there, but it wouldn’t be worth it. She never heard me. “I’ve got to go. I’m on my way to work.”
“Oh.” That one word dripped with every ounce of disappointment she had ever felt about me. “Well, be safe. We don’t want any repeats of this spring, now do we?”
“Bye, Mom.” I hung up before she said anything else. She’d probably call back and leave a message about phone etiquette, but I was beyond caring.
Pushing through the door of the Wel, a smile immediately found its way onto my face. Kat and Mona had one of our sorority sisters trapped in a dancing sandwich. Emily towered over them, laughing and half-heartedly trying to get away. “You-you guys. Stop it.”
“I’m sorry. Mona, do you hear something?” Kat spun around, shaking her ass on Emily, using her thick lower half to keep her stuck.
Mona, the smallest of the three, just kept pelvic thrusting. “Not a thing.”
I dropped my purse behind the bar. “Got started a little early?”
Emily broke free of the shimmy sisters and wrapped her long arms around me, the smell of cheap vodka strong on her breath as she said hi.
“I didn’t know you were in town this summer.”
She sighed and slipped onto a barstool. “Yeah, just got back from family vacation. I start back at Lotus Sushi on Monday.”
“Nice,” I said as I clocked in on the POS system.
“You okay?” Mona asked, popping a piece of popcorn in her mouth.
I straightened the stack of napkins in the holder. “My mom just called me.”
“Gotcha,” Kat said. “How about a few shots of Old Crow to burn away the taste of parental disappointment?” She lifted an eyebrow in challenge.
“You think I won’t?”
She shrugged. “I don’t care either way. It’s your choice of what kind of night you want to have.”
Without answering, I grabbed four shot glasses and a bottle of bottom-shelf whiskey. Carefully, I poured the shots and handed them to Kat, Mona, and Emily.
Kat raised her glass. “Here’s to those who wish us well, and those who don’t can go to hell!”
Tapping the bottom of my glass on the bar, I shut my eyes and took the shot. The liquor burned on my tongue and then proceeded to burn all the way down.
I coughed and stuck out my tongue. “Ug. That was rough.”
“I’m so proud.” Kat wiped away fake tears, and I stared at her until she took her own shot. No flinch, no grimace, all badass. “The perfect drink.” She smacked her lips and offered to buy another, but we all shook our heads. “Your loss.”
In no time, the bar was packed, and I was hauling ass just to keep up with Jen, one of the other bartenders, and Connor.
Being behind the bar, I had a front-row seat to Connor slinging drinks and flirting with every woman in the room—except me.
On our first shift after he walked me to the party, I thought things would get better, but Meg suggested he had a thing for her, and I felt weird even being in the same room as them.
Then there was that disastrous late lunch at Poppy’s, and I almost quit the Welkum to avoid having to ever talk to him again.
But alas, I needed the money.
So, I was stuck watching a guy, who was apparently a great brother and friend, with zero hope of making him mine.
Connor occasionally ran his fingers through his dark blond hair, keeping it out of his eyes in clichéd messy perfection. As he reached for a bottle off the middle shelf, his black Welkum shirt stretched across his broad shoulders, giving the whole room a show.
Every time his bright blue eyes looked my way, I struggled to keep from hiding behind Jen. Instead, I’d stand a little taller, pushing my boobs out, trying to entice him to come over and break the ice. The shots Kat kept buying made burying the hatchet seem a lot less scary.
Unfortunately, Connor never took the bait. Instead, he’d lean down and say something in Meg’s ear, and she’d smirk and make his well drink for him. So not only was it still awkward as hell between Connor and me, but I was developing some powerful jealousy toward Meg.
Why am I such a loser?
“Barkeep, make me another!” Spicy cologne assaulted my nose. It was too strong, too much, and I knew exactly who was wearing it.
“Carter. What’s up?”
He wedged in between Mona and Kat, cutting off the line of other people waiting for refills of their bright yellow cups. “Not much. You never texted me back.”
I nodded, not answering the unasked question lingering between us. Honestly, he wouldn’t like what I had to say.
“What are you drinking?”
His smile dimmed. “Whiskey Coke.”
I kept my eyes down and got started on his drink.
“We’re having people over after close, if you and the Frattic girls want to come.”
“Maybe. The girls are pretty drunk, so we’ll probably just head home.”
“I hope you change your mind. It’s been too long since we ran a beer pong table together.” Carter was trying to be nice, even if it was in a bumbling, drunk kind of way.
“We’ll see.”
Carter slapped the bar top. “Great! I—”
“Can I get you something?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Connor’s gravelly voice. Carter and I turned toward the frowning bartender, a sliver of excitement slithering its way into my chest.
Carter stood a little taller. “Sarah’s got it.”
Connor took his cup from my hand, and his eyes narrowed as he asked, “What’s he drinking?”
“Whiskey coke,” I mumbled, stunned at the hostility in Connor’s motions as he refilled the cup.
Neither Carter nor I looked away from Connor. Me, because, duh, Connor was hot as hell. Who knew what Carter’s deal was?
“Here you go.” Connor slid the drink over, and Carter shoved a tip in the jar.
“Connor, when are you going to come hang out at the Gamma house? Your brother is there almost every day.” Carter took a sip of his overflowing drink.
“It’s not really my scene. Thanks for the invite though.” Connor’s hand brushed my elbow. “I’m going to get you some water.” Before I could say anything, he was gone and back, placing a cup of ice water in front of me. “I’ll bring you another when this one’s gone.”
“Thanks.”
He gave me a tight smile and returned to the other end of the bar, but kept his attention set on me. Even while he poured the next drink, I could feel his gaze. Despite the magnetic pull, I kept myself angled away from the temptation at the other end of the bar.
“Is there something going on between you guys?” Carter took a drink, watching Connor’s retreating back. Much to the annoyance of the people waiting behind him, he hadn’t left his spot at the bar.
“I’m tutoring Jamie.” I poured gin into a cup. “He doesn’t like me being around his little brother.”
Carter barked out a surprised laugh. “Oh yeah, Sarah Tilney, bad influence. He clearly doesn’t know you.”
Turning away from Carter, I found Connor staring right at me. “Clearly.” Once I’d given in, I couldn’t look away. Carter kept talking, but I didn’t hear him. All I could pay attention to was the buzz between the two of us, a tether that kept us orbiting one another. It’d be so easy to just—
Meg yanked Connor’s arm, shattering the magic.
“All right, I’m going to go back to the guys at the shuffleboard tables. Come get me when you’re done, and I’ll walk with you?” He didn’t wait for me to answer before he left.
Typical.
“Carter needs to learn how to use less cologne.” Mona scrunched her nose, shoving another dollar in the tip jar. “I’m drunk as hell and even I was offended.”
I glanced down the bar at Connor and lifted my water.
“He is a more-is-more kind of guy. There’s a reason we never really dated.”
Connor dropped off the water but didn’t leave. Instead, he leaned against the bar on his forearms. “Can I get you anything else?”
Biting back a smile, I shook my head. “She should probably slow down.”
“Noooo!” Emily whined. “Mona and Kat promised me they’d drink all they could with me because men suck.
And now Kat’s kissing some girl I’ve never seen.
” She threw her hand toward the corner where the couple mauled each other.
“And you’re trying to get out of an after-party with the Gammas even though it’s just downstairs from your apartment?
It’s summer. Why are you being such a buzzkill? ”
My shoulders curled in. I didn’t want Connor to see me the way everyone else did. I’d rather he think of me as the girl who dragged him to the side of the Barn. That girl was fun. Regular me was . . . not.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” I looked around the crowded room and slipped out from behind the bar, zigzagging through people until I reached the long-ass bathroom line.
Waiting gave me time to mull it all over. I’d written Connor off, but there was no denying how I felt about him. The only problem was that I didn’t know where his head was at.
And whose fault is that?
Mine.