Chapter 23 High School Sweethearts Are Bullshit
TWENTY-THREE
HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS ARE BULLSHIT
CONNOR
One minute, I was holding Sarah in my arms, bullshitting with my best friend, and feeling better than I had in months. The next, I was watching Sarah laugh and dance with Grant, while Tom and Olivia plied her with drinks and kept me away from their little dancing circle.
How did I already fuck this up?
“Here.” Laura tried to hand me a drink, but I shook my head.
As much as I wanted to be mad at her, I couldn’t be. Sarah had made her expectations clear, and what did I do? Let my ex hang all over me.
“She doesn’t seem mad, and it’s not like you did anything wrong.”
“I don’t want to talk about this with you.” Even with my drunk brain, I knew not to let Laura in on any vulnerabilities we might have.
Laura scoffed. “What happened to us being friends?”
I glanced down at her with a raised eyebrow. “Let’s be real here, Laura. We haven’t been friends in a long time.”
“I didn’t—”
“I’m not blaming you.” I sighed and turned back to Sarah, who was wiggling around in her gruesome yet adorable costume. She finally looked at me, and of course, at Laura, who stood right beside me. Sarah rolled her eyes and gave us her back.
“Hello?” Laura’s raised voice broke the trance Sarah had me under.
“We just have too much history. Too much messy history and a lack of boundaries that let us cross the line over and over. If I want this to work with Sarah, I can’t be your friend.”
“You’re going to let her tell you who you can and can’t be friends with? Real healthy.”
“That’s pretty rich coming from you,” I sniped back.
“I—”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to start a whole fight about the past, but that kind of proves my point, doesn’t it? Friends shouldn’t argue about past couple shit.”
Laura huffed. “That doesn’t address her controlling who you’re friends with.”
“She didn’t tell me I couldn’t be friends with you. I’m making that decision.”
“Oh, I’m sure.” She crossed her arms, her voice condescending as hell—one of the things I always hated about her.
“Why would she make any demands when she doesn’t, or at least didn’t know who the hell you are? I’m guessing she figured it out, though.”
“You didn’t tell her about me?” Hearing the emotion in her voice, I refused to look at her.
“Why would I?”
“Oh, I don’t know, because I’m your high school sweetheart.”
“People have got to stop saying that like it means something. You dumped me for the first douche you met at college. Real fucking sweet.”
“I can’t believe you’re degrading what we had.”
There was so much I wanted to say, to yell, but even in my completely shitfaced state, I knew better than to let her get under my skin.
“You remember a couple of years ago when you dated that guy from Chicago?”
She quietly said yes. Her softening posture and voice showed she knew where I was going with this.
“What did you tell me? We couldn’t be friends anymore because it wasn’t fair to him.”
“But—”
“Did you mean that?”
Pop music filled the silence between us. Eventually, Laura gave in. “Yes.”
“Well, Sarah deserves the same respect.”
“You really like her.” She sounded pained, but I didn’t understand why. We didn’t know each other anymore. It’d been years since we were actually friends. This summer she’d tried, and I’d ignored her.
“I do. She’s someone special.”
Laura looked up at me. When I didn’t turn away from Sarah spinning with Olivia, she tugged my sleeve until I did. “You’re willing to sacrifice what we have or could have for her?”
I glanced back at Sarah, her blood and dirt-covered suit coat flying open as she spun, her blond hair wild and whipping around, her smile so bright and real it took everything in me to look back at Laura. “It’s not a sacrifice.”
Harsh, but one hundred percent true.
My heart squeezed as Laura’s eyes welled up, and she nodded. “I’m happy for you.” Despite her words, she gave me one more pleading look.
I smiled sadly and turned back to watch the only girl whose tears I actually cared about hug her best friend. Laura let out a shaky breath, then walked away, leaving me alone with aching feet and an itchy head.
I don’t know how long I stood there, a spectator on my own date. At one point, Olivia was shaking her ass on Tom, his face completely blissed out, and Sarah started to mimic her on Grant.
Well, that‘s a big hell no.
I may have fucked up, but that didn’t change how I felt about Sarah, or that she was here as my date. If she didn’t want to be here with me anymore, I would begrudgingly take her home, but there would be no date swapping.
Pushing my way through the poorly coordinated gyrating, I made eye contact with Grant and put the force of a thousand murders behind it. He smirked, but tapped Sarah on the shoulder, stopping her efforts to shake what her mama gave her.
By the time I reached her, Grant was gone, and the song had changed. The opening notes of “Come on Eileen” played, and my cheeks ached with how big my smile was. Sarah frowned, far less enthused.
Holding out a hand, I asked, “May I have this dance?”
“Are you sure I’m who you want to dance with?” she asked, her eyes unfocused as her body swayed.
Gathering her against me, I beamed down at her. “It’s you, Sarah. Only you.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, but her lips quirked up. “Oh, yeah?”
“Oh yeah. Now come on and show me your moves, living dead girl.” I pulled her hand away from her chest and spun her.
Her grin was infectious, and the tightness in my chest lessened. We would be okay, but I needed to ensure that no other woman, even if only innocently, would ever get in the way. I’d learned my lesson.
As the chorus hit, we started jumping up and down, shouting the lyrics along with all my friends.
Sarah’s face glowed in the firelight, the flames dancing in her eyes.
Her fingers squeezed mine tightly, and then she let go and spun freely.
Tom threw an arm around me, and we swayed, singing to each other, while watching Sarah and the Frattic girls dance wildly, not for a second worried about what anyone else thought.
Above us, the fireworks started, lighting the field in beautiful pops of color. The dancing slowly stopped as everyone looked up at the sky, and Sarah found her way to my side with a huge smile.
Pulling her in front of me, I put her top hat on top of my blond wig and curled around her.
I rested my chin on her shoulder, loving how she melted into me without hesitation as our breathing fell into sync.
It might’ve been the booze, or the fireworks, or maybe even her ridiculous costume, but I knew I was in love with Sarah.
I could only hope she felt the same.