Chapter 2 – Nick #2
“You’re still always around,” Nick reminded him as Kent placed a bowl of steaming rolls on the table and joined them.
He wasn’t blood, but Kent was as much a part of the Gray family as the other three at the table, much more than a caretaker or chef or employee and Nick knew the older man would back him up.
“You better take a vacation soon, both of you. Don’t worry about me. ”
“Since when were you big enough that you started worrying about us?” His mom laughed gently, her smile bright. “Wasn’t it just yesterday when you begged your father to hang that little plastic basketball hoop on the back of your door?”
“That does feel like yesterday,” Derek said and Nick rolled his eyes, laughing with them.
“That was forever ago. I’m serious. Basketball camp is like a vacation for me so while I’m gone, you two should like run away or something.”
“I think that sounds like a great idea,” Kent offered and Nick grinned at him.
Nia hummed in agreement. “I believe I’m overdue for a romantic date.”
“Then it’s settled.” Derek smiled at his wife, his sun-kissed cheeks a shade darker all of a sudden.
The next morning, both his parents dropped him off at the bus stop where Declan and Reece were already waiting.
They’d be heading off on a long overdue and well deserved vacation, just the two of them.
His parents drove away with Nick and his friends waving them off, all of them too eager to get what was supposed to be the greatest summer yet underway.
Basketball camp only lasted two weeks, which was no time when you were having fun with your friends.
There were two dozen boys in the cabin, but to Nick, it was just him and Reece and Declan.
They stayed up late, woke up early, ran until their legs were numb and played until they were breaking curfew each night.
It was all easy, careless fun that came to an end too soon.
Reece’s family was stealing him away for a family vacation as soon as he stepped off the bus but they were giving Declan a ride home first. Reece’s sisters were a loud and proud trio that kept the entire bus stop entertained while waiting on Nick’s parents.
They were usually the first to arrive so Nick originally didn’t argue about them wanting to wait, but when ten minutes turned to thirty, then an hour, he waved them all off.
“Alright, it’s been long enough. Y’all go ahead,” Nick said to everyone, though his eyes were on Reece. There were only a few kids still waiting but Nick didn’t mind waiting alone. “Have fun with the family, okay?”
Reece nodded. “I will. I hope this trip is quicker than camp was…”
“Me too,” Nick said and meant it.
Once they were all gone, Nick sat on the grass near the sidewalk and tried to call his mom. Straight to voicemail. He hoped they weren’t having so much fun on their vacation that they forgot when camp ended. That would be a first, but a funny one.
After another hour without getting in touch with them, Nick grew worried.
The sun started to set and his phone was dying.
It wasn’t like either of his parents not to get back to him quickly, especially his mom.
Nick waited, watching the sun dip down behind a line of palm trees, until headlights drew his attention and he saw Kent’s car pulling up.
Nick put his bags in the trunk and opened the front passenger door, plopping in with a groan.
He was about to complain about his parents ditching him until he met Kent’s red-rimmed brown eyes, stricken by the haunted look in them, and knew something terrible had happened.
* * *
Nick had always dreaded the quiet but now he demanded it, the loss of both his parents weighing so heavily on him that going about his day-to-day routine seemed impossible.
So, Nick had been doing little to nothing instead, staying locked in his room ever since he’d gotten home from their shared funeral.
Those endless hours were a blur to Nick, his thoughts mostly still on the day he lost them and the fact that he’d never see them alive again.
He’d taken their love and support for granted, foolishly never considering they might be taken from him so soon—that he’d have to finish growing up and spend his entire adulthood without them.
Nick thought himself so selfish that he never deserved all the love and support they’d given him.
They spent their lives working to build a life that had been so beautiful that it could only end in disaster.
To think that the very vacation he convinced them to take, hoping it would bring them rest and happiness, would lead them to an early grave thanks to a careless driver.
Even on days his dad came home from work exhausted, he’d play basketball with Nick until they were called for dinner.
His mom never missed a single game of his and made it a point to make sure Nick was not only healthy and always prospering, but happy.
And he had been, carelessly so. He’d been going through life with a blind happiness because everything had been going so well for him, even if some things in his life were confusing at times.
Now, though, Nick didn’t think he’d ever be happy again.
He felt empty on the inside but not numb—the pain was too real.
Nick couldn’t accept that he’d never get a proper goodbye.
He didn’t think he’d be able to face his friends again, or anyone for that matter.
Even Kent, who’d been with him his whole life.
Nick couldn’t look at him, couldn’t face the man’s brown eyes because the warmth Nick had known growing up was now lost, just as his parents’ lives were. It was all haunting him.
Nick couldn’t even play basketball. He tried, late at night when he knew Kent was sleeping, but when he stood outside by his goal where he always played at home, ball in hand, he just felt lost. His parents had been supporting his dream all his life and now that they were gone, having a dream felt pointless. Most things felt pointless.
“Nicholas, please. Come inside and have dinner with me. I made hamburgers,” Kent said, another attempt of his to break through to Nick.
Hamburgers were his favorite but his stomach churned at the thought of food. “I’m not hungry.”
“You keep saying that, but you have to eat. You can talk to me, Nicholas. I’m here.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Kent. I’m sorry you’re stuck with me but you can have everything they left. There’s nothing I want.” It wouldn’t make up for all the poor man had to endure, surely, but it was something to compensate him at least.
“I have been here watching you grow up all these years. The only thing that’s changed is me becoming your guardian at your parents’ wishes.
All I care about is making sure you’re okay and that starts with making sure you eat and don’t drive yourself crazy by just standing out here by yourself for hours on end in the middle of the night. ”
Nick gritted his teeth and threw the ball he’d been holding. “Fuck,” he choked, feeling like the whole world was closing in around him and it was suddenly too hard to breathe.
“It’s not your fault, Nicholas.”
“Don’t.” Nick didn’t want to hear it because anyone else’s opinion didn’t matter.
The truth was simple; they would have never been killed if Nick hadn’t convinced them to go on that stupid vacation.
“It’s going to be okay. Even if it hurts.”
It was never going to be okay but Kent was the one person stuck with Nick even if it wasn’t of his own choosing, so Nick wouldn’t continue taking his pain out on him.
“Yeah. Let’s go eat.”
Kent’s relief whooshed out of him with a deep sigh and he followed Nick inside, serving him the most delicious burgers Nick had ever had.
The guilt Nick felt for Kent getting stuck with him didn’t lessen.
Even if Kent had been preparing most of his meals for as long as he could remember.
Even if Kent had always been there with a warm smile and kind spirit and always seemed to truly care about Nick.
Kent went from a longtime employee of the Gray family to Nick’s direct guardian.
Because he had no other family. He had no one left in the world except for Kent.
“I won’t give up,” Nick said to Kent after their meal, when he stood up to excuse himself for the rest of the night. He still didn’t meet Kent’s eyes, but he finally found his resolve. “I’ll still go pro one day and I’ll make enough money to pay you back for everything. I promise.”
* * *
“We’re not leaving until you come out!”
“Yeah!”
Declan was shouting outside with Reece backing him up. It was the third day in a row those two had come over, knocking on the doors and calling to him from the backyard. Nick was surprised by their persistence but he wasn’t going out and he wasn’t talking to anybody.
A soft knock on his bedroom door had Nick storming from the window—where he was trying to peek at his friends without being seen—to the door to open it. Kent was there, dark circles around his brown eyes. He was having it rough too, but still put on a smile for Nick.
“Your friends are outside again. I can make snacks—”
“I want to be alone,” Nick said even if it was the furthest thing from the truth. Nick hated being alone. He hated knowing he’d be alone forever.
Kent’s thin lips worried together, his brows furrowed. Concern was etched onto his face but he hesitated to speak when Declan and Reece started calling out to him again. They were still going on when Kent finally said, “You should be spending time with them.”
“No. They shouldn’t be wasting their time here.” He clenched his fists on his way to his unmade bed. “I’m going to sleep.”
“Nicholas…” Kent said nothing more, but the quiet, broken tone of his voice let Nick know he didn’t agree with the decision.