32. Colton
thirty-two
Colton
T he way Kiara is looking at me right now, I don’t even need to hear her answer. She’s raw and vulnerable—all her defenses down. Her eyes are two large pools in which I want to drown over and over again.
Her mouth moves without making a sound, then finally she says, “An awful long time.” She blinks, eyes wet, the mask of the tough girl finally down. There’s pain there, and longing, the feeling of time that passed us by and we should have known better.
But we needed this. I needed this. I needed to get out of my asshole phase and grow up and deserve her.
I think I do, now. I think she taught me enough that I can give back what she needs from me—from anyone, really. The kind of deep caring, of building each other up that is the only valid foundation of a couple.
I pull her to my chest, the sight of her lost gaze too much to bear, and stroke her hair.
“Yo, Colt,” someone from the racetrack calls. “Where you staying tonight?”
I narrow my eyes on him, not understanding.
“You’re not driving up to Emerald Creek. They’re closing the roads there.”
Shit. The few times this happened to me, I slept on his couch. There’s got to be a hotel nearby. I just hate this for Kiara. For us.
This was not how I saw our first night together going.
“I have an Airbnb,” he says, glancing at Kiara who’s still nestled in my arms. “Empty this weekend. Lemme send you the address. I’ll have the caretaker turn on the heat.” He gives me a wave and leaves without giving me a chance to protest. My phone buzzes, and Kiara reaches into my back pocket to pass it to me.
She looks up at me, her eyes dancing on mine. “How many bedrooms?” she asks as I read the text, then wiggles against my erection.
I look down at her. “That’s not gonna matter.”
Surprisingly, Kiara is silent as I lead her to the car. I open her door and look down at her in the passenger seat. “Unless you changed your mind.”
She blinks. “I did.” Then she grabs my hand, brings it to her chest, and says, “I don’t want you to…” She hesitates. “I don’t want you to pop my cherry, ” she says under her breath. “I want to be yours,” she adds, nearly bringing me to my knees.
But I’m sitting in the car, snow piling up in thick flakes, and I just promised Kiara to be safe. To keep her safe. So I keep everything I want to do and say to her under wraps and take her hand, kiss the inside of her wrist, and drive us to safety.
“Are you kidding me?” Kiara says when we pull up to the Airbnb. It’s an A-frame on a knoll, trees all around it. We barely made it up the steep driveway, and snow is still falling. On the way, we crossed an SUV—likely the caretaker. Smoke billows from the chimney and twinkling lights frame the windows.
I grab the bag of groceries we bought on the way and take her hand as we walk up the steps. Stopping us on the doorstep, I turn her to face me. “You and me, it means… everything to me, Kiara. You gotta know that about me. And you gotta know, I’d rather keep you as a friend and nothing more than lose you entirely. Just like you said. So before we go any further, I gotta ask you. Are you sure about this? Because once I make you mine, baby, there’s no going back. I’m gonna love the pain out of your life. For real.”
She blinks as she looks at me and gets on her toes to drop a kiss on the corner of my mouth, gripping my jacket to pull me to her.
“I’m already yours,” she breathes in my neck. “Show me what that means to you.”
The blood in my brain rushes down to my groin. I open the door for her and try to hold back. Between the roaring fire in the hearth calling for some civilized downtime, the bag of groceries in my hand needing attention, I should probably—
Kiara turns around, brings her face up to mine, and kisses me again. “I want you now,” she whispers. “Please.” With her foot, she pushes the front door closed and reaches to engage the deadbolt, the sound like a seal to her decision.
I drop the groceries to the floor and pick her up, amazed at how featherlight she is. She wraps herself around me as I take a few steps and sit her on the bar top.
Her eyes are two gray pools of water, a fucking storm brewing under the surface. She bites her lip and adds, “I-I don’t know what to do. I feel so—”
I shut her up with a kiss, feeling her body relax into mine as she meets each of my tongue strokes with a moan. Lowering my mouth to her neck—I love the way she throws her head back as I aim for her tender skin—I say, “All you need to do is be in my arms, sweetness. That’s all the work right there. Nothin’ more.” I’m not just saying that to make her feel better. Having Kiara melting in my arms is all I need to make me feel on top of the world, in charge of the both of us. I’ll bring her to where she needs to be. I spread her legs wider to fit myself against her center, then pull off her sweater and let it fall to the floor. She’s wearing a zipped-up thermal that hugs her breasts.
“Colt,” she moans as I slowly pull on the zipper.
A flash of black lace draws a stark contrast against her porcelain skin, and I stop the unzipping, frustrating my dick. “Last chance to change your mind, sweetness,” I growl, looking up to her eyes.
She looks back at me, and fuck if I don’t see begging in her gaze. She does the lip licking thing again, totally unaware of what a tell it is and how it drives me so totally wild I could come in my jeans right now.
I drop my gaze to her chest and drag the zipper all the way down. She shakes the thermal off, her nipples pointing through a see-through black top with a lace border and just two thin straps over her delicate shoulders. “Where the fuck d’you get that top, sweets,” I growl, zooming in on her wide areolas.
“You-you don’t like it?”
A semi-maniacal laugh threatens to take over. “I wanna buy the whole store.”
She exhales, bringing my mouth toward her breasts, breathing heavy. “Colt,” she whines, squirming on the counter.
“Where’d you get that?” I repeat.
“Ca-Cassandra’s. Wh—?”
I kiss her breasts through the thing, then slowly peel it off her skin, suddenly conscious of the roughness of my fingers on her as I trace her shapes with my thumbs. She’s thinner than last time I saw her beautiful body. I could tell from her face, but now that I’m seeing it on her body, I’m concerned. She’s working too much. Worrying too much. Hurting too much.
I want to wipe all this out for her. Take care of her, even if she’s the strongest of us. Kissing my way down to her waistband, I hoist and carry her to the main bedroom, upstairs.