49. Kiara
forty-nine
Kiara
I get into my car and slam the door. I need a few minutes to calm down, but when I see Maddie come out of Town Hall, I start the engine and pull from the curb. I don’t need to hear her bullshit. I’m not going to blame it on her, although she did tell me getting a variance was just a formality.
Clearly, it’s not.
And clearly, being a realtor, she should have known. She knew .
I don’t care what her reasons are. As upset as I am, I’m not forgetting about my friends, getting high at Mollie’s.
Maybe that’s what I should have done, I think as I round The Green and come back down toward the river, making a left toward Easy Monday. Let them debate my application without me. At least it would have saved me the public humiliation of Colton singing my praises.
I mean, it was really, really nice. The things he said. I’m ashamed he felt that he needed to support me in such a way. He doesn’t need to do all these things for me.
As I pull into Easy Monday, I flash my lights and give it thirty seconds, but no one comes out. The faint light seeping from the sides of the blinds calls to me. I need some girl time.
“Boo!” Willow says as I open the door. She springs from her seat with surprising energy for someone who’s had a gummy, and lunges into my arms. “The things he said! That man is so into youuuuu!”
“How d’you know that?” Ms. Angela is still at the meeting. Who else would tell them so quickly?
Willow produces her phone. Since the pandemic, the meetings are live-streamed. With decent wi-fi, you can watch them in real time from home. Although now we’re back to needing to come in person to interact.
“I think you need some Bitch Brigade intervention,” Emma says, her words a little slurred. “Come here,” she adds, tapping the place next to her on the couch.
For the next thirty minutes the girls reenact the scene, what everyone said, how Owen’s a dick, how Colton is hot for me, and how badass I was.
Millie thrusts a small pouch of weed gummies my way. “Here, you look like you could use one.”
“I’m here to drive you home,” I say. “Ohmygod, guys, I feel so… humiliated,” I finally confess.
“Um… excuse me?” Willow says.
“One of the hottest bachelors in Emerald Creek pretty much publicly declares how he adores you… and you’re humiliated?” Emma croaks. “Fuck that. Hand me another,” she tells Millie.
“Dude, you’ve had enough,” I tell her.
She drops her proffered hand with drama. “You’re right.” Then she straightens in her seat. “Hey, I told you so, right?”
“Told me so what?” I ask her.
“That you wouldn’t get the variance. No one ever listens to me in this town,” she adds.
“Not in so many words, but yes, you did. Sorta.”
“Well, listen to me. Willow is right. That man is into you. Don’t let him go.”
What happened to putting myself first, and no woman needing a man?
“Forget what I said earlier,” she adds, reading my face.
Millie’s fanning herself, quiet. “That was hot, girl,” she simply says.
“All right, bitches, time to go to bed,” I say, standing.
Willow grunts but stands. “Lemme get my snowshoes.” Not that high after all.
“Yeah, time to get outta here,” Millie says, going outside with Willow.
Emma follows her in uncertain steps and shuts off the lights while I bleep the car open. “Code?” she asks Millie. If there’s one person who’s going to keep her focus on our businesses, it’s always Emma. Even high.
“Ah,” Millie says, waving away her request like it doesn’t matter. “Relax, Ems.”
“Come on, Millie. Gotta lock up.”
“’Kay-’kay-’kay.” She comes back inside and taps in a code. “You know what they say, though. What happens in Emerald Creek stays in Emerald Creek.” Then she lifts a finger. “But nothing ever happens in Emerald Creek,” she adds, giggling. “I just have this thingy for the insurance… and also,” she says, frowning comically at Willow, “to know when my friends are getting high without me.”
Easy Monday properly shut down, she turns toward me. “The harder the fight, the greater the reward, sista.” Then she throws herself in my arms and adds, “You should just move in together, save some money. And bake your cakes out of his garage! Now there’s an idea.”
“Yeah, yeah, right.” I push her softly from me and take her arm. “Come on, let’s get you guys home.”
They all pile into my Corolla, and I start doing the rounds, promising to pick them up in the morning so they can get their cars. After I drop off Millie, Willow decides Emma lives too far up in the hills, and she should just sleep at her place. “Caroline is at a sleepover. It’s unfair to Kiara to drive you that far, after all she’s been through,” she declares, and that settles it for Emma.
“You know, Millie might be onto something,” Emma says as we take the turn to Willow’s.
“About what?”
“Selling your cakes out of Colton’s garage. Or next to it.” Her speech is clear, but her thoughts? I’m going to discard everything she says. “It’s a great idea,” she continues. “You should tell Colton about it.”
“She’s right,” Willow says as I ease into her driveway. “I mean, you already bring loads of muffins and cupcakes to the garage. There’s a reason people book their services on Mondays and Wednesdays. Might as well start selling them.”
“What she said,” Emma says, before stepping out and blowing me a kiss.
As I drive away, I wish again I’d stayed with them tonight instead of going to the board meeting and making a fool of myself. I really need to unwind now.
Not wanting to go home, I head back into town and end up at Lazy’s. I make my way to the bar, crowded with regulars at the moment.
Before I can perch myself on a stool, Justin points to a booth in the back. “He’s over there.”
A sinking feeling overtakes me. There can be only one him that Justin would tell me about. Shit. I never even stopped to think about how Colton would feel about what happened.
I quickly make it to his table. He’s lost deep in contemplation of what’s left of an amber liquid in his glass. Considering his family history, that’s not good.
“Hey,” I say softly, and go to slide on the seat across him.
He lifts his gaze to me, relief washing over his features. “Fuck, sweetness, where were you?” he says, standing and wrapping me in his arms. “I got so worried.”
“I had to drive the girls home…” My words get lost in his chest. I check my phone out of habit and see all his missed calls. I’ve been on silent mode since the meeting. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry ’bout what?” he says, sitting back down and gathering me onto his lap.
“That… that you felt you had to say all those things…” That no matter what I try, I always end up on the loser end of things.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, sweets. I’m angry at myself. But we’ll figure it out. We’ll find a way.” He gives me a squeeze and one of his fabulous kisses right behind my ear that make the world go right again. I almost give in, want to believe him. But I can’t.
And I have to say this before he gets too deep in shit because of me. I don’t want to be a burden to him, or anyone. “I’m going to France,” I blurt.
His body tightens underneath mine, the vibration nearly undoing me.
I try to turn to look him in the eye as I speak, but his grip on me is too tight. It’s like he doesn’t want me to say it.
“We already been through that, sweets, and you know I support you. I just don’t want you going for the wrong reasons. This seems like running away to me, not following your dream. But sure.” He takes a deep breath, his body releasing some of its tension. “What you gotta understand, is that you’re not alone. No one ever does it alone. You meet people along the way, and they help you, and that’s part of being human. Accepting help from those who are on your path, those you meet on your journey. This was me helping you, earlier. But you ran away. You gotta stop doing that. You have something to prove, sweetness, I get it. But know this: it’s only to yourself. And I’ll support that. If you need to show the French you know as much as they do, and that’ll make you feel better about yourself, go for it.”
That’s the exact moment Justin chooses to set my IPA in front of me. “What’s that about?”
I feel Colton’s glare above my head, or maybe I see it in the way Justin receives it. He raises his hands. “Never mind,” he says and leaves.
Colton takes a deep breath. “Three, four, five,” he mumbles. I’d laugh if I weren’t so uptight. “Seven… Nine—”
“What the heck?” Chloe, Justin’s wife, says as she slides in the booth, followed by Willow and Emma.
I narrow my eyes on them. “I thought I dropped you off.”
Willow nods. “You did.”
“We were just too uptight,” Emma says.
“Tell me Justin heard wrong,” Chloe says. “I mean,” she continues without letting me speak, “I was at the Select Board meeting, and by the way,” she turns to Colton, “nice speech, but France ? As in Europe? What— why ? You’re giving up on us?”
Willow’s gaze actually gets misty. “Boo,” she says, trying to take my hand. “Who’s gonna boss me around if you leave?”
“She’ll only be gone three months,” Colton growls.
“They all say that,” Noah says, pulling a chair and sitting at the head of the table.
We all look at him uneasily. There’s a family history there that’s a little unclear to me. Sometimes I wish I paid more attention to gossip.
Willow glances at him for a beat but directs her focus back on Colton. “No offense, Colt, but Paris, man? Paris? Do something!” Willow’s eyes are downright wet right now.
“ No offense , Willow,” Emma cuts in, “but I agree with Kiara. Training in a French institute, maybe a write-up in food magazines, some endorsements from a celebrity chef… That’ll go a long way in solving Kiara’s cash flow issues. People love to lend money to successful people. Banks don’t tend to help people in need.”
“That’s cold,” the man whose voice is very familiar says, pulling a chair next to Noah to join the conversation. Nigel . Or rather, Luke. Our local celebrity. There’s too much happening right now.
“And you are?” Emma says icily, confirming his assessment. Emma is not warm to outsiders.
“No one you need to know, love,” Nigel-slash-Luke says.
Emma rolls her eyes.
“Bathroom break,” Willow calls, forcing all the men to stand and let us through.
We crowd the bathroom once again. “That guy is hot,” Grace says, looking at Willow. “Who is he anyway?”
“He’s some rock star in hiding, according to Tracy,” Willow says, adding a touch of mascara.
Emma frowns. “You mean he’s Sexy Voice? Sounds like a jerk to me.”
“Guys, fingertips out,” Grace says, and plops a bead of cream on each of our fingers. “You need to hydrate those lips, ladies.”
“Ready to go back?”
“I’ll catch up with you,” I say. “I actually need to pee.”
While they’re gone and I’m in a stall, someone comes in, then rummages through something. “No. No! No! No! Please…” they whisper.
I flush and come out, going straight to the sinks. While I lather, I glance at the woman—no, the girl—and startle. It’s Isaac’s sister, I’m sure of it. The egg bomber! She looks guilty and without a glance my way, darts into a stall.
I wipe my hands, open the door to the hallway, and let it bang back closed, staying inside.
Sure enough, she comes out and freezes when she sees me.
“Hey,” I say with a smile. “You’re Isaac’s sister, right?”
She’s nervously playing with the hem of her hoodie. It’s too small for her, the sleeves showing her thin wrists. She averts my gaze and goes to the sink, running her hands under hot water. She nods. “Evie.”
There’s no point making her more uncomfortable than she already is. “The community chest is stocked only on community dinner nights.” During the community dinners that Justin organizes at Lazy’s, not only is food free, but there’s a box in each bathroom where people can either leave cash or take cash anonymously.
She looks defensively up at me. “What?”
“Pretty sure next one is in on New Year’s Day.”
She shrugs. “Whatever.”
“I could use some help with the baking, meanwhile. Could tie you over.”
Her hungry look reminds me of myself, a while back. But I was older than her. This is so unfair. I reach inside my wallet and hand her the three twenties I have. It’s not much, but in her situation, I bet it’s a lot. “Consider this a hiring bonus.” She goes to snatch it from me, but I pull my hand back. “I just wanna know one thing.”
Her smirk and forlorn gaze hit me in the gut. This is a look that says, there’s always a catch . I hate that I’m the one who brought it about.
“Just tell me why you threw eggs at Shy Rabit.”
She forces a laugh. “That old witch promised me a hundred bucks.”
“A hundred bucks to throw two eggs at a window?”
“Nah. I was supposed to get all twelve eggs. You guys kept me from it. She wouldn’t pay me.”
I shut my eyes briefly. “That’s Louise we’re talking about?”
She nods, her gaze fleeting to the sixty dollars in my hand. I give it to her, but I stay between her and the door. “You need help, you go to good people. There’s enough of us around here.”
“Isaac says we need to figure things out on our own.”
Isaac came to work at the bakery with signs of physical abuse last spring. Chris started handling it, so there was no reason for me to step in. Then Isaac’s dad was sent away for a long time in an unrelated matter, which in effect suppressed the source of the problem. As always though, the scars ran deeper. Shame and a sense of isolation are still plaguing this family.
“Isaac is a great guy. I see him at work. But he’s wrong about that. You need something, you ask any of us.” I realize she’s unclear who this us is. “The Bitch Brigade.”
Her eyes brighten. “Mom talks about you. What you did for the spa last summer.” She giggles.
“Come on, I have a soup that’s getting cold and I’m pretty sure there’s one for you too. You prefer potato-cheddar or cheddar-potato?”
She stays glued to me the rest of the evening and eats way more than just soup—thank god. No one asks questions, and when Colton grabs his wallet to settle our bill, Grace puts her hand on Evie’s shoulder and says, “We’ll give you a ride home, hun.”
“If I wasn’t already totally in love with you, I’d fall again, sweets,” Colton says while he peels my clothes off me. He wanted us at his place, and from the look on him, I didn’t ask why.
“What’d I do now?” I made a fool of him and am ready to leave Emerald Creek. What is there to love?
“The way you took Evie under your wing. She’s who threw the eggs, right? She worships the floor you walk on. I don’t know what you told her, but I’m on her side. You’re the best there is.” He gets to my panties and stretches them to the side, sliding a finger on my clit.
“I didn’t say anything… special.”
“Shut up and enjoy,” he says.
He ends up making love to me like this is goodbye, and it nearly kills me. Two minutes into his caresses and I’ve forgotten the whole Select Board debacle. Everything about Evie. If I didn’t know him better, I’d think the way he kisses every inch of my skin, the sound of his voice when he tells me how beautiful I am, his touch attuned to my every reaction—I’d think all this was to convince me to stay.
But it’s not. Colton’s not that way. He wants what’s best for me, and he trusts me to know what it is.
In the middle of the night, after he’s made me come twice despite my low spirits, and he loses himself inside me with a gravity that’s downright concerning, he whispers, “Even if it takes you thirty years to come back, I’ll be waiting for you.”
My heart nearly explodes from the emotion his words carry. “Colt, don’t say that,” I beg him. Because what if he’s right?
I’ll hate myself if something happens and I don’t come back right away.
But I’d hate myself even more if I stayed here now and gave up on Paris.
“Sweets, don’t beat yourself up,” Colton says. “You couldn’t live with yourself if you said no to that training. I know it. You know it. I wouldn’t want it any differently. Hell, if you said you weren’t going, I’d put you on the plane myself.”
My eyes well up, and clamping my jaw is all I can do not to bawl in his arms.
He runs his fingers in my hair, cupping my head in his hands. “Told you I’d wait thirty years if I had to. Now go and show them.”