Chapter 10
Wesley
As I’m closing up the barn, getting ready to head inside and take a shower, my phone goes off. It’s Addison asking me if I’m busy. Maybe she finally wants to talk this stuff out. Because she’s never this hesitant towards me. She usually has no problem showing up and seeing for herself if I’m busy.
Me: “Right now, no. Cole and Chase are coming over later though.”
I wish I didn’t have plans, but I can’t lie to her.
Addie: “Oh okay, that’s fine.”
She sounds off. I know it’s a text, but I can still read her through it. I hate the tension that’s lingering between us so much that I can’t even take it anymore, so I call her.
Her hello is full of confusion and uncertainty.
“What’s going on, Addison?” I keep my voice gentle yet firm.
“I don’t want to crash your party,” she whispers.
I pull my phone away from my mouth to let out a sigh. Something tells me I am not having the guys over tonight and I am mending the tension between us instead. Which is fine. That’s more important to me than seeing my buddies anyway.
“You can crash my party anytime, Addie. You know that,” I say. I wait for her to respond but the line is dead silent. “Come over,” I add.
“Okay.” She lets out a breath. “I am.”
“See ya soon.”
We hang up and I manage to ignore the knots in my stomach while I cancel on the guys. They don’t ask why and I don’t give a reason.
I head inside to shower quickly before she gets here, my mind running through how the evening will go.
If she’ll apologize or we’ll get into it even more.
I hope we don’t. I can’t go another day being in this friend limbo with her.
I have a feeling I’ll be the one who apologizes in the end.
I don’t think she’ll see my point. Maybe one day, but I don’t think that day is today.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m back in the barn, sitting in one of the old chairs by the woodstove. It’s too hot to light it, but it’s still the go-to hangout spot.
I hear a four-wheeler pull up outside. My chest feels heavy. I get up and turn the radio down a little.
The side door of the barn opens and in she comes wearing jean shorts, a blue tank top, muck boots, and her hair loosely braided to the side.
Our eyes say hello before our mouths do. She starts towards me. “Where are the guys?”
I shrug. “I told them it wasn’t a good night.”
She looks back to me. “Wesley.” She tilts her head. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“No, it’s good. Figured you and I just needed to talk,” I say, trying to swallow the lump in my throat, but it won’t budge.
She follows me over to the woodstove. I sit back where I was and she sits in her preferred spot—on the left side of the ugly green floral loveseat across from me. The stove is the only thing between us.
She looks down and plays with the end of her braid before she looks to me.
“I’m sorry for hanging up on you. But I still wish you would’ve come to me before Cody.”
I sigh. “I tried.”
“When?”
I guess I hadn’t really. I thought about it plenty though.
“I feel like I hinted at it few times.” I choose my words carefully. “That I didn’t think he was a great match for you.” I hold my breath.
She looks down at her hands. “Nobody’s perfect,” she mumbles, as if that’s the only reasoning she has.
“I know. I didn’t say he was supposed to be, but there are some things that I’d be concerned with if I were you.”
“Like what?”
“Like his relationship with God? Does he even believe in God, Addison?” I spit out, my voice cutting through the space between us like a blade.
She doesn’t look at me, and I watch her bite the inside of her cheek.
“That’s a big fat no.” I huff. “See, you won’t even look at me.” My voice is on the verge of breaking and I think she hears that, because she finally looks up. Her eyes are slightly red and glassy, full of something that knocks the wind out of me.
I swallow. “I don’t think you understand how much I care about you, and how much I just want what’s best for you.”
“He’s working on everything. He’s already come a long way.” Her voice is barely above a whisper. “He apologized, said certain things wouldn’t happen again, and they haven’t. He’s just…he’s learning.”
“Okay.” I bite back what I really wanna say and stand up. “I’m glad. I’m sorry I got involved then. I’m glad you figured it all out. Really.” I try to sound genuine but it’s a complete lie.
They’ve been together almost two years and the progress, in my opinion, is too slow. He’s not trying hard enough to meet her needs. If he cared enough and loved her enough, it wouldn’t be like pulling teeth.
She stands too. “So, we’re good?” she asks.
“Mm-hmm,” I hum. Thankfully, my fake smile is enough that she doesn’t see through it.
“Good. I should get back home then. I’ll see you around.” She heads towards the door and leaves.
I stand there, waiting for some sort of relief to hit me, but it doesn’t.
* * *
When I sit down on the church pew beside my family, my eyes catch on Addison’s wavy hair a few rows up, the lineup of her family different than usual. Brantley is sitting shoulder to shoulder with her.
The irony. Is she doing this to prove a point?
He’s never come with her before and part of me is annoyed that he’s here. I know that’s not the right way to think, being annoyed someone’s at church. I force myself to turn it around… Good for him, I’m happy for her.
If you think I’m not watching them together the entire time you’re wrong. I can’t help but notice the way his shoulders are slumped while he stands during worship. It doesn’t take an idiot to see he doesn’t care to be here.
Afterwards, Addison doesn’t even come into Sunday school. I saw her leave with Brantley right before it started. That’s not her. She never leaves early. We’ve been in this class together since we were three years old. And unless we’re sick…our butts are in this building.