Chapter 28
Addison
We got home from Pennsylvania yesterday. I haven’t seen Wesley yet. I was planning on going over tonight, but he texted me and said he was really busy and couldn’t. Something’s off, something’s been off for a few days. He hasn’t talked to me much the entire week, but I haven’t brought it up.
I push open the barn door to find Wesley working on the baler. “Hey.” I smile.
He looks over to me. “I said I was busy, Addison.”
My smile fades and my heart pumps faster. “I know, but I wanted to see you.”
“I know. Sorry. That came out rude.” He walks over and pecks me on the lips, but gets back to whatever he was doing without hesitation. “I just have a lot going on right now.”
“Okay…well, I’m not going to distract you. I just wanted to see you.”
His eyes flick up to mine. “You will always distract me.”
“Well, then, I won’t talk,” I say flirtatiously.
“Right…” he mutters.
A few minutes go by as I sit by the woodstove and get comfortable. Wesley’s fully in the zone. I’m keeping my word by not talking to him, but I can’t help but feel like something is still definitely off.
“God da—” he starts
“Wesley…” I scold.
“Don’t get on me right now, Addison,” he argues.
“Excuse me?” I raise my eyebrows.
A tool clanks on the floor, and he stands. “If you can’t tell, I’m not having a good day, and I don’t need you here babysitting me and my choice of words.”
“Oh,” I say sharply. “Fine.” I gather my things and head out. “Missed you too,” I mutter.
“I said I was busy.” His tone is tight.
“Never stopped us from hanging out before!” I snap and slam the shop door shut behind me. My cheeks feel hot from the embarrassment of being yelled at by him of all people.
As I’m getting back onto the four-wheeler, I’m expecting him to come out and apologize, but he doesn’t. I even try to stall an extra minute to see.
When I get back home, I check my phone before heading in the house, expecting a text from him full of nothing but apologies, but shockingly, there’s nothing. I go right upstairs, totally ignoring the fact that Mom and Dad are making out at the kitchen sink.
“Hey, you’re home early?” Mom calls out.
“Yeah. He was too busy.” I reach the top of the stairs and enter my room. I wanna call him and let him have a piece of my mind, but I also wanna cry. I tell myself not to do anything rash and just wait for him to come to me.
* * *
I don’t sleep well all night. I’m anxious, I’m worried, I’m angry. I’m second-guessing everything. Thinking about last night in great detail, like maybe I’m the one who needs to apologize? But I don’t think I’m the one in the wrong. Am I? I just don’t know.
After breakfast, Mom and I go into town to get groceries. We go every other week usually, but with being gone for an entire week, we don’t have much on hand and need to do a good restock.
“You’re quiet,” she says.
“Wes and I are fighting,” I mutter.
“What? What happened?”
“I don’t know. He just…he got mad at my company last night, I guess?”
“That doesn’t sound like him.”
“It’s not. That’s why I’m confused.”
“Well, was he working?”
“Yeah.”
“Well maybe it wasn’t going well.”
“I know, but he’s never been like that with me before. I’ve seen him angry plenty of times, but he’s never taken it out on me.”
“Did he raise his voice?”
“Kind of,” I admit, though I don’t want to.
“I don’t like that,” she says with a glare, as if I need to do something about it right this second. I know he shouldn’t raise his voice at me, but it happened, I left, and that was it.
* * *
It’s the next day, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt more stumped. Wesley hasn’t texted me anything except a simple “Goodnight. Love you” last night. At least I know he still loves me…but I am so confused.
Caden’s birthday party will be interesting, especially since Wesley will be there. I’m anxious. Mom’s the only one who knows we’re on weird, rocky terms, which makes it a little better, but still.
My entire family heads over to the barn, where the party is being held. Blake and Sierra’s house is too small to entertain this many people, and Wesley’s parents’ isn’t much bigger.
Sierra told me it was going to be just a little over thirty people total. Given that, it’s fairly noisy inside, voices ricocheting off the metal barn walls. Everyone’s sorta scattered, the majority huddled near the woodstove that I would imagine is lit, since there’s a slight chill to the air.
Sierra is standing at the food table with Joanna, Wesley’s mom, getting the food ready. Mom heads over to help. Cody, Dad, and Mason make a beeline for the woodstove area, and Jesse helps Ella get Cora situated in the stroller.
My eyes wander, looking for Wesley. He’s talking to some older guy that I don’t recognize. I think it might be Blake’s dad, a pastor. He looks like a pastor.
Blake is nearby, holding Caden while he’s talking to—oh my gosh—Kayce Warren.
I look away and force myself to walk in the opposite direction towards Sierra. She knows how excited I am to meet him. I’m sure she’ll introduce me at some point.
Of course, the second I glance back over to Wes, he’s looking at me. We both look away at the same time. My skin tingles, nausea building in my throat and sweat prickling under my arms. I don’t hesitate, I just head into the house to find the bathroom. I need a minute to calm my nerves.
I get my hands under the cold water and breathe. “God, please help me relax. Take this anxiety away from me, just for tonight, please,” I whisper.
I focus on my belly breathing and watch myself in the mirror.
After the anxiety subsides, I say one last prayer as I unlock the door and make my way back out. When I turn the corner, I almost collide with a pregnant belly.
“Oh, sorry!” I laugh.
“That’s okay!” she insists, and my heart thumps louder when I look up to see who it is.
“I’m Wrenley,” the blonde says. I knew that though, it just took a minute for me to recognize Kayce’s wife. She’s carrying a toddler, who I realize is their daughter, Holland.
Sierra appears behind her. “Oh yay, you guys ran into each other. Wren, this is Addison, the best babysitter in the entire world,” she says.
“Oh okay! Yeah!” Wrenley exclaims. “Sierra talks about you all the time. I’m always jealous I don’t have a babysitter like you. She’s always bragging.” She nudges Sierra.
I can’t help but laugh, feeling a blush creep up my neck. “Aw, well, if you guys lived closer, I would love that.”
Wrenley laughs and runs her hand over Holland’s brown hair. “I know. I wish Caden and Holland could grow up together, but it’s okay. Soon she’ll have a little brother to be with.”
I smile. “That’s so exciting, when are you due?”
“Not soon enough.” She laughs. “May 1st.”
“That’s exciting. Do you have a name picked out?”
“Yeah.” She nods. “Nash. We have this town thing going. Don’t ask me what we’ll come up with for a third.” She laughs.
“Nash, as in Nashville? I love that.”
“Yeah, we’re excited. Kayce’s really excited for a boy, obviously, but I’m terrified.”
“Aw, why?!”
Sierra jumps in. “Sometime when you’re bored, look up Kayce’s record.”
We all laugh, and Wrenley lets out a sigh, as if it’s only a little funny.
“Well, I have three brothers,” I say. “They’re all pretty well-behaved. One’s a cop actually. And none of them ever got arrested!”
“Yeah, well—” Wrenley starts.
A deeper voice rounds the corner. “You talking about me, babe?”
Kayce appears and takes Holland from Wrenley’s arms. She laughs, but I start to sweat. Words are all of a sudden a foreign concept. I’ve never met anyone even close to famous, not that he is anymore, but to me he is.
Sierra gives me a wink and excuses herself, reminding us not to be too long because she’s hoping to eat in the next five or ten minutes.
“I’m just voicing my concerns about having your son is all,” Wrenley says.
He pats her back. “He’ll be perfect.”
Wrenley shakes her head and laughs. “Yeah, mm-hmm. Anyway, this is Addison.” She gestures to me. “Sierra’s perfect babysitter that I’m jealous of not having.”
“Ohhh. So you’re the reason my wife wants to move up here?” he teases, holding his hand out for me to shake. “Not sure if I’d say it’s nice to meet you,” he jokes.
“He’s kidding.” Wrenley rolls her eyes and elbows him.
Holland rests her head on Kayce’s shoulder and he looks to her. “Are you being shy?”
“She was playing with Caden, but then she threw a block at his head, so…we came in for a little time-out,” Wrenley explains.
The conversation stays light and easy. I’m surprised I’m not tripping over my words. You wouldn’t even think that deep down under all my clothes, I’m sweating profusely.
We head back out to the barn and gather around to eat. Blake says a few things and thanks us all for coming before we bow our heads for him to lead the prayer.
My hands laced together behind my back come undone when someone’s—Wesley’s—calloused hand slips into one. My stomach jumps and I almost trip on my own feet when he unexpectedly pulls me closer.
When we lift our heads back up, he lets go of my hand and we exchange a look, not a smile, but a look that I can’t quite read. It’s one I don’t know if I’ve ever seen.
“You finally got to meet Kayce,” he says.
“And Wrenley,” I correct.
“And?”
“And it was the best two minutes ever,” I admit with a cheeky smile.
He smiles, easily, but walks away. My heart drops again, what is going on with him?
* * *
The next day, nothing has changed. Still nothing more than a “goodnight love you” text from Wesley, and I’ve had it. I can’t go another day with this tension between us. He’s my boyfriend—my best friend—and I feel like I can’t even talk to him. It sucks.
Me: “I’m coming over there whether you like it or not. This is ridiculous.”
My stomach churns as I wait, wondering what he’ll say. It’s a nauseating, anxiety-inducing, overwhelming sensation I can hardly bear.
Wes: “Okay. I’m in the barn.”
When I get there, he’s waiting for me by the woodstove. He’s on his phone, but he puts it down and stands when he sees me.
His body language is slumped, maybe because he’s disappointed in himself, or maybe because he’s about to break up with me. I walk over, my steps out of sync with my rapid heartbeat. I try to brace myself for the unknown.