Chapter 5
Chapter 5
My phone vibrates in my back pocket, and I pull it out to check who’s messaging me. It’s from Sean with his usual short, sharp and to the point communication style.
Family dinner at my place tonight. 7 o’clock. Don’t be late.
I hold my phone in my hands, my thumbs hovering over the keypad. I’d like to tell him to go stick it, maybe send him a message telling him not to be so darn bossy. But I know I won’t. He’s my big brother, and I know his heart is in the right place. And anyway, family is very important to me, no matter how much they sometimes drive me insane.
I tap out a quick reply, asking if I should bring something, but knowing his wife, Danni, she will have it all worked out. All I’ve got to do is turn up and eat. Oh, and get my life totally rearranged in the process. In “The World According to Sean,” I’m a successful whatever, earning “good money” to pay off my mortgage and run my European car, a fully contributing member of society.
So boring, so him, and so not me.
Once at Sean’s house in the leafy suburb of Remuera, Abigail thrusts a glass of red wine into my hand. “Sophie, we’ve got a plan.”
The bushes are clearly free from being beaten tonight. There’s nothing like getting straight to the point.
I look around at my four siblings, their faces grave and full of concern for me. It would be touching, lovely even, if I didn’t already know what was coming next. I take a large gulp of my wine and then another. Dutch courage? Heck yes.
Sean holds court. “We’ve got options for you. Not like the last time with that Nettco interview Abigail set up for you. This time, you get to choose which step up you want to take.”
“Because that’s what this is, Soph—a step up.” Caitlin gives me that familiar look that says, “you need all the help we can give you, don’t you, our poor little Sophie.”
I’m a little too familiar with that look.
“Ok aaa y.” I look around at my sibling’s faces. “Well? What are these options you’re talking about? I’m super eager to know.” There’s a chance I’m not being one hundred percent honest here.
“You are?” Caitlin sounds surprised.
“Of course! The last job you put me forward for wasn’t a good fit, that’s all. And the one before that wasn’t a good fit either, I guess. And the one before that was—”
“Not a good fit?” Abigail offers, the ghost of a smile on her face.
“Well, clearly! I didn’t want to work at a fast-food chain.” I cross my arms, defensive. I know my brother and sisters are looking out for me, and I know they’ve come up with some solid suggestions for career choices in the past. But none of them have floated my boat, and I figured why leave a place I love, even if I’m “only a barista” as Sean likes to say, to go somewhere I know I’ll hate?
“That job was on the managerial track,” Fiona says, clearly indignant. The fast-food chain position had been her idea. “Jimmy said you’d be managing a team within six months tops.”
“Fiona, it was flipping burgers.” I shoot her a look. “I’ve got nothing against flipping burgers, it’s just I didn’t want to do it.”
“Only to start with. That job had potential.” Abigail leans back in her seat and crosses her arms.
I’ve affronted her. “Look, I’m sorry. You’re right, Fiona. It was really nice of you to get me the intro there. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
Sean leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “Sophie. You’re bright and you’re educated. That’s two big ticks in your favor. All we want is for you to find something you want to do, something that can become an actual career. We all have them,” he gestures to our sisters, “and we could not be happier. Right?”
“Right,” Caitlin echoes as Abigail says, “Absolutely,” and Fiona gives a firm nod.
“Having a meaningful career will give you so much in your life,” Sean carries on. And on. And on. Did I mention my brother loves the sound of his own voice? When he eventually “shakes off this mortal coil,” to coin another one of his beloved Shakespearean expressions, his epitaph will be “Everyone is entitled to my opinion.” And you know what? I bet he’d agree, without even a hint of irony.
“Okay, thanks, everyone,” I say to stop Sean from waffling on endlessly. Really, how does Danni put up with him? I mean I’ve got to because we’re related. She chose him. “I get it. You want me to have a ‘meaningful existence.’” I use air quotes. “I do, too. It’s just . . . I guess I don’t know what that looks like yet.”
“It’s because you’re totally stuck,” Abigail says with a sage nod.
“Exactly, you’re stuck like a pig in mud,” Caitlin confirms.
“Isn’t a pig in mud someone who’s really happy?” I say, immediately regretting it.
“Deflecting isn’t going to help you here, Sophie,” Caitlin warns. “This is an intervention.”
“Yup, I got that.” I grin as I rub my hands together. “So, intervene away!”
“Take this seriously, please,” Abigail says.
“I am. Sorry. I’m keen to hear how you’re going to transform my humdrum existence.”
“Well, as you know, Baby-ness has gone from strength to strength,” Caitlin begins with a smile on her face as she names her online baby store. “Profits are up, and we’re shipping more and more product. Which brings me to one of the options we want to put forward to you, Sophie.” She pauses for dramatic effect before announcing, “I would like you to come and work for me at Baby-ness.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
The thought of working for Caitlin isn’t exactly appealing.
“Yes. Wouldn’t that be amazing? I’ll teach you everything I know.”
“Err, yes. That would be—” What? Horrendous? Slit-my-wrists terrible? All of the above? “— so amazing. Thank you.”
“Or,” Sean flashes a smile at Fiona, “you could come work at McCarthy & McCarthy as our intern. I know your degree is in finance, not law, but we could definitely use your skills in dealing with clients and managing the office for us.”
Working for Sean and Fiona? Sean and Fiona? Think of the amount of Shakespeare I’d have to deal with, let alone being bossed around by them all day, every day.
“Thank you,” I manage. But in my head, a big, flashing red sign screams, “Alert! Alert! Pull up! Pull up!”
“Well? What do you think?” Fiona’s eyes are full of hope. “I may be biased, but Sean and I think working for us at McCarthy & McCarthy would really suit you. Who knows? You may even decide to go back to school and get that law degree we’ve often discussed.”
The two lawyers in the family, Sean and Fiona, have been pushing me to become a lawyer for years now. They have this fantasy about me joining their firm. What would we call ourselves, McCarthy & McCarthy & McCarthy? It doesn’t exactly have a great ring to it, does it?
“Or, you could join Baby-ness. We’re new and innovative with an amazingly bright future in the baby and mother wellness arena,” Caitlin says.
Sean harrumphs and Caitlin whips her head and glares at him. “We’re not all boring old fuddy-duddies, you know. Baby and mother wellness is a growing market, spearheaded by some very big names.”
“Until the next fad comes along. Who will spearhead that, I wonder? Dora the Explorer ?” Sean laughs heartily at his own weak joke.
“There’s no need for such a low blow,” Abigail says to Sean.
“Thank you,” Caitlin sniffs, affronted.
“It could be one Spongebob. He’s very wise, I hear.” Fiona joins Sean in laughing, and Caitlin crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. She is singularly unimpressed.
“We’ll see who gets the last laugh, you two,” she quips.
And so the bickering continues, and the point of this so-called “intervention” falls completely by the wayside. I get up from my seat and slink out into the kitchen where I chat to Danni and play peek-a-boo with Simon, my adorable little nephew.
Eventually, once they realize I’m no longer in the room—which takes considerably longer than you’d think—all four of them appear in the kitchen.
“Why did you leave?” Caitlin asks.
“What are you doing in here?” This from Fiona.
“You need to take this seriously, Sophie,” Sean chastises.
I look at Abigail for her remark. All she does is raise her hands in the air and shrug at me.
“Look, I appreciate what you’re all trying to do. Really, I do.”
“Here comes the ‘but,’” Fiona says.
I shake my head. “There’s no ‘but.’”
“So that means you’ll come and work at Baby-ness?” The eager expression on Caitlin’s face is only matched by Sean’s when he says, “Or McCarthy & McCarthy. A much more solid choice, methink’st.”
I glance between them both. “Will either of you actually pay me any money?”
“Well, we could down the line. You know, once you’ve got your feet under the table, settled in, got up to speed.” Sean’s overuse of ways in which to say “once you know what you’re doing” doesn’t distract me from the fact that he and Fiona are offering me a job with no pay .
I turn my attention to Caitlin.
“Eventually,” she says.
Oh, this gets better and better! Working as an unpaid intern for any of my siblings is about as appealing as having my hair plucked from my head, strand by painful strand.
I raise a hand in the “stop” sign. “What am I meant to do for money? How will I live?”
“We discussed this, and we think the best thing for you to do would be to move back home,” Sean says.
“Exactly. I’m sure Mum and Dad would love to have you back,” Fiona adds.
Move back in with my parents? Are they freaking kidding me with this right now?
“No way!” It’s an utterly preposterous suggestion. I mean, I’m a twenty-five-year-old woman. I’ve been living away from my parents for the last three years. I’m happy. I like independence. Love my parents as I do, I’m not going to throw all of that away for an internship with one of my siblings.
Abigail, the only non-interested party in the conversation, puts a placating hand on my arm. “Look, Soph, don’t go making any hasty decisions right now, okay? Take some time. I suggest you get the two offers on paper so you can see what you’ll be doing for each company, then make your decision.” She looks up at the others. “You can do that for her, right?” Sean, Fiona, and Caitlin all murmur their assent. “That’s settled then. Once you get the details, you can work out what you want. Things will fall into place then. I just know they will.”
“Sure,” I mumble with a nod.
I’m one hundred and fifty thousand percent positive I don’t want to work for Sean and Fiona or Caitlin. And three thousand trillion percent positive the very last thing I want to do is move back home to live with Mum and Dad.