Chapter 22
Chapter 22
The evening of Cameron’s Vetting Process rolls around after a busy work week, and I’ve got so many mixed emotions about tonight, they could stick a decorative umbrella in my head and make me a new cocktail. “The Sophie” is a mixture of nerves, denial, fear, and excitement, with a healthy dose of misplaced feelings for the wrong guy I’m hoping I can redirect.
“You look super cute tonight, Soph,” Darcy says to me as we place our drinks on our usual table at Jojo’s and take our seats. “That red dress has got total x-factor.”
Self-conscious, I smooth my slim-fitting dress down. “You think?”
“Total va va voom, you mean,” Erin says.
“Yes, if this were the nineteen-forties, Erin,” Darcy replies with a chortle.
“Sophie looks this good because she’s going on a date with a certain super-hot former pro rugby player.” Erin grins at me. “After he’s passed the Vetting Process, of course. But then he is Superman. No problem for him. Tall buildings in a single bound and all that.”
“I’m sure Cameron will love the dress,” Darcy says, her eyes trained on me.
I know exactly what she’s getting at. As part of the No More Bad Dates Pact Committee, Jason is due to arrive any minute for Cameron’s vetting. When I put the dress on tonight, I told myself it was for Cameron alone. But I’d be a cold-faced liar if I didn’t admit to the hope that Jason might see me in it and . . . and what? Decide I’m the woman for him? Leave Megan for me?
I’m deluding myself, and Jason and Megan appear to be a “thing.” That’s right, Jason Christie, slayer of nurses, serial short-term dater extraordinaire, appears to have a proper, bona fide girlfriend.
And I’m happy about it. Really, I am. Super happy. With Jason all cozily loved-up with Megan, visiting romantic spots like Chez Pierre together, I know there is zero chance my feelings for him will be reciprocated. That means I can let those annoying feelings die a natural death—or bludgeon them violently with a hammer. You know, whichever works.
And in the meantime, I can focus entirely on Cameron.
“Oh, my gosh. Look. He’s here,” Erin says.
I look up, fully expecting to see Jason. Instead, I spot Cameron. I clench my jaw as I work to ignore the sinking feeling in my belly.
Cameron sees me and gives a brief wave before he strides over to our table.
“He’s even more of a total smokehouse than I remember,” Erin says.
“So, you only dislike current pro sportsmen, not former ones?” Darcy teases her.
“I’m making an exception, okay?” Erin replies under her breath.
“Hello, ladies.” Cameron’s smile is warm as his eyes land on me. “Wow, Sophie. You look incredible in that dress.”
I stand and take his extended hand in mine. Erin’s right, he is a total smokehouse, with his good looks and confident demeanor.
“Hey, Cameron,” I say.
He leans in and kisses me on the cheek. “I, ah, don’t know what the protocol is with this pact of yours, so I hope this is okay.”
“Oh, of course it is,” I reply hurriedly. “Do you have a drink? There’s no table service here so you’ll need to get it from the bar.”
“Right. Okay. I’ll go get a drink. Anyone else need a fresh one?”
“We’re good, but thank you so much for offering, Cameron.” Erin is gazing at him like a love-struck teen. I nudge her under the table, and she drags her eyes away from him, mouthing, “What?”
“Okay. Back in a few.”
With Cameron on his way to the bar, Erin lets out a sigh. “You are so freaking lucky, girl. He is a beautiful, beautiful man.”
Darcy laughs. “I think you’re laying it on a bit thick there, honey. And anyway, he’s here for Sophie.”
I watch Cameron. He’s leaning his elbow on the bar as he places his order with the barman, and I get a fine view of his athletic physique. Really, he’s any woman’s ideal guy. I’d be a total fool to let him slip through my fingers because I’m hung up on my roommate.
“Where’s Jas? I thought he was coming tonight,” Erin asks.
“He said he’d be here,” Darcy replies. “He’s a rugby nut so I can’t imagine him missing this opportunity to meet a former All Black.”
“Oh, I’m sure he’ll be here,” I say as casually as I can muster.
But he doesn’t show, and I find myself scanning the room for him every few minutes. I try to concentrate on Cameron’s response when Erin asks him about compromise. I force myself to listen as Darcy asks him about conflict resolution. I even slap my cheeks a couple of times to dislodge myself from Jason’s grip on me when Cameron replies to my question about whether he’s a romantic.
But really, it’s no use. I should never have agreed to this. As perfect as Cameron is in so many ways, it all boils down to one thing: he doesn’t have my heart.
I gave that away to a man who didn’t even bother to come tonight.
I’m such an idiot.
While Cameron’s answering Darcy’s question about trust, I excuse myself from the table and make my way to the ladies’ room. I lean my hands on the cold sink and stare at my reflection in the dimly-lit room.
What am I doing? There’s a great guy out there, putting himself through our stupid No More Bad Dates Vetting Process, willing to answer all the ridiculously probing questions my friends pepper him with, and what do I do? Sit on the edge of my seat, waiting for my no-show roommate.
My shoulders slump as I let out a heavy breath.
I need to move on. I need to shake myself up and get back out there. Cameron’s the guy for me. He’s here and he’s into me.
Two things Jason is not.
When I get back to our table, Cameron and my friends are looking through the list of karaoke songs together.
Cameron looks up as I take my seat, and says, “Are you a duet kinda girl?”
“A what?”
“I’m thinking Sonny and Cher I Got You Babe. Not too challenging for a lame singer like myself.” He gives me a self-deprecating smile, and I shoot my friends a questioning look.
“He passed,” Darcy states simply.
I turn to Cameron. “Hey, that’s, err . . . great.”
“Apparently, I have ‘excellent date potential.’ Which is something I can honestly say I have never been told in my entire life.”
“So, you get to celebrate your first date with a duet,” Erin announces. “We put your names on the list. Cam tells us he’s a pretty terrible singer, so we figured you two were a good match.”
Cam? They’ve got all buddy-buddy with him now. How long was I in the ladies’ room?
“Are you happy with this level of abuse from your friends?” he asks me with a smile.
“Oh, I’m used to it. And besides, they’re totally right.”
We spend the next hour or two together singing, laughing, and having fun. Cameron’s a great sport, and the girls stick around at my request, even though the meaningful looks Darcy keeps throwing me tells me she’s guessed why.
When I announce that I need to go because I’ve got work in the morning, Cameron walks me out to my car.
“That started out as the weirdest date of my life,” he says.
“Intense, huh?”
Standing by my car, he steps closer to me, his eyes trained on mine. “You could say that. But in my opinion, it was totally worth it.” He places his hand on my arm and smiles at me.
I know what’s coming next. I’ve been on dates. I know the drill.
My mouth begins to dry out. Although I’ve enjoyed Cameron’s company tonight, and he really is a genuinely great guy, try as I might, I can’t seem to drum up the sorts of things I should be feeling for him. Things like wanting to do what he so clearly wants to do with me right now.
I step back, my butt smooching up against my car. “Well, that’s just super. Thanks for, ah, that.”
His eyes are electric as he steps even closer to me.
My mouth is now about as dry as summer in the no-rain city of Lima as I fumble around for the door handle behind me.
“Sophie.”
“What? Yes? Oh.”
He circles his hands around my waist and stops my words with his lips. And it’s a good kiss. Great, even. Soft but confident, long enough to show me he means business, not too long that it’s all a bit too much. Really, I can’t fault his technique.
It’s just . . . he’s not Jason.
“Do you have any clue how long I’ve wanted to do that?” he asks as he pulls away.
“Ah, no,” I murmur. My insides twist into a painful knot.
“Let’s just say I don’t drink nearly as much Cozy Cottage coffee as I buy.”
I know I’ve got to say something to him. Put him out of his misery. Under any other circumstances, I’d be in seventh heaven to date someone like him.
It’s time to come clean.
I study my hands. “I’m sorry, Cameron. I-I can’t do this.”
“Do what?”
When I don’t answer, he gently cups my chin in his hand, and I look up into his eyes. “I can’t go out with you. And I’m so, so sorry to have put you through all that vetting stuff. It’s just—”
He raises his eyebrows as he waits for my explanation. “It’s just what?”
I let out a heavy sigh as my chest tightens at the thought of Jason. I’ve been so busy fighting the way I feel about him, it’s only now, with Cameron looking so intently into my eyes, that I can finally admit what I feel to myself.
I hang my head as a sense of complete and utter hopelessness washes over me. “I’m in love with someone else.”
Because that’s what this is. Love.
I know it as well as I know myself. It hits me like a blow to the chest, winding me, forcing me to gasp for air. I’m in love with Jason. Crazy, desperate, all-consuming, wonderful, wonderful love.
And it’s freaking tearing me up inside.
I should be swinging from the trees, bursting with euphoria, lighting up the sky with my bliss. Instead, I fight the tears threatening to spill over, threatening to make me look even more ridiculous in front of this guy.
“I’m-I’m sorry.” I try to smile but I must look like I’ve swallowed a glass of lime juice.
“Is it your ex? Are you still in love with him?”
I clamp my teeth and shake my head. “It’s someone else. Someone who doesn’t know I’m in love with him.” My lips begin to tremble, and I scrunch my eyes shut.
“Look. I know I’m just some guy who you’ve decided not to date—”
I snap my head up to look at him. “Oh, no. Cameron, it’s not like that.” Even though it so totally is. There’s no point making this any worse than it already is for the poor guy.
“Let me finish?”
I give a short, sharp nod. Allowing him to say what he wants to say is the least I can do after what I’ve put him through tonight. All for nothing.
“If you love this guy, really love him, tell him. Love doesn’t come around a whole lot. If you find it, you’ve got to grab it while you can.”
I search his eyes and detect a deep sadness. It’s clear he’s lost someone he loved. I swallow down my own pain and try out a watery smile. “You’re a really great guy, Cameron. Do you know that?”
He lifts his shoulders in a modest shrug. “I do my best.”
“I’m sorry I’m not the girl for you.”
“Yeah. Me too.”
As I take the slow trek back to my apartment, my heart sits heavy. How can I tell Jason how I feel about him when I know he doesn’t feel the same way? Sure, he’s told me he has faith in me, and it’s obvious he cares. But love?
Love is a whole other planet.
And right now, that planet is populated by one very sad, very dateless girl.