Friends that Puck (The Honey Badger Puckers #5)

Chapter 1

Dylan

“Just saw Viv do the walk of shame, bro,” Scott says when I enter the living room.

Shit, I didn’t know he was home, and he must see it on my face because he smiles.

“I was booted out of the sorority house early enough that there was no sunshine yet. I’ve been sitting here ever since, contemplating life. I scared your girl, actually.”

I walk to the fridge, wiping my face. “She’s not my girl.”

“No?” he questions with a half-ass smirk. He’s always messing with me.

“No. One and done.”

He wags his finger in the air. “Pretty soon you’re going to experience the fuck around and find out lesson here real soon.”

I laugh. “Yeah, like you did with Carissa last month.”

An exhale leaves his nose. “Yeah, exactly like that.”

I close the fridge, finding nothing worth eating. “Viv knows the deal, man. She’s cool. There’s no need to worry.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. That girl is head over heels for you, man.”

My eyes snap to his. Who the fuck uses the term head over heels anymore? I shake my head. “It’s too early for this shit. I don’t want to worry about her feelings.”

He laughs. “You always need to worry about their feelings.”

I plop on the couch next to him. “You know what I mean. I lay out what I can offer in the beginning, and that’s that. My intention won’t change, but shit. One and done, like I said.”

“She is hot.”

I nod, agreeing. “Yeah, she is.”

“Short, though. Like, yay, high but a nice rack.”

I nod again, showing him how tiny she is. “It’s like taking a tall person and shoving them into someone this small.” I show him with my hands. “The tits are bound to be big.”

He laughs. “And her stomach. Just wait until she’s thirty, man. Her stomach will be bigger than her tits.”

I bark a laugh. “What the fuck? I don’t want to think about Viv at thirty. She’ll be long gone by then. That’s weird, huh? At thirty, none of this shit is going to matter.”

He stares into space. “Yeah, we’re not even going to remember this day-to-day shit. Probably won’t even remember this conversation.”

“No kidding.” That makes me realize how fast life goes by, but I don’t like thinking about that kind of shit. It’s depressing, really. Ten years ago, my life was very different from what it is now, so ten years from now is unfathomable. “Wanna hit the gym?” I ask, changing the subject.

He shakes his head. “Pass. I’m gonna need a long nap after last night.”

I pat his chest and stand. “I’ll be at the campus gym if you change your mind.”

I take a quick shower, chug half a gallon of water, and head to the campus gym.

My brain short-circuits when I see Viv inside.

Shit. I don’t want to be a dick, but I can’t be in there if she is.

I can’t fucking turn around right now without being obvious, so I need a good excuse when she approaches me.

I walk in, and she spots me right away. Fucking hell. I couldn’t even get my foot in the door.

She smiles when our eyes connect.

I inhale as she stops her workout to approach me.

“Hey,” she says with a smile.

“Hi,” I breathe, glancing around. “I just need to grab something.”

She scoffs. “Really?” She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at me. This isn’t good. “I didn’t know you’d be this ridiculous.”

I press my lips together. “I told you what it was last night. I can’t date anyone, I have a lot of shit going on.”

She scoffs. “You can work out here, Dylan. I know you’re not here to grab anything, it’s the fucking campus gym. I’m not going to bite. Just wanted to say hi.”

I nod and shake my head at the same time. “Yeah. No. I just stopped by to grab something I left yesterday.”

I bolt to the men’s locker room and stand inside like a raging idiot for… I don’t know. Fucking count to ten. Then I’m out the door.

Her eyes catch mine right before I leave the gym, and I wave like a fucking turd. I storm out onto the concrete and make my way to the parking lot, googling the nearest off-campus gym that’s not Planet Fitness.

I drive twelve minutes away, finding myself sitting outside of a gym run by a local family. I throw the truck in park and sigh. This is safer than the campus gym. There will be no previous one-night stands here. Cool beans.

I walk into the gym, ask for a seven-day free trial, and hop on a treadmill. Right away, I break into a jog. Then I start doing sprints, trying to ease my mind of how fucking awkward it was to bump into my one-night stand the morning after she snuck out.

It’s not that I’m not interested in her; it’s just that I’m not interested in anyone.

Fuck, Scott was right about this shit. One day, it’s going to bite me in the ass, so as I’m sprinting my third round, I decide to make a change.

I need to stop fucking around. No more hooking up.

If I can’t stand the thought of a woman at thirty years old, then I have no right to access her at twenty.

I slow the machine to a jog and keep it running for some time. Enough time for me to get lost in thought, trying to clear my head of all the intrusive negative shit lurking around. God, I need to get it together.

The gym door’s open, and it’s loud as shit, so it catches my attention.

The hottest girl I’ve ever seen walks in, and this is no understatement.

She is come in your pants at the sight of her hot.

She’s like a goddamn Victoria’s Secret model.

I’ve never seen such a long, slender body with a face that could cut you with a single look.

Her angles are out of this world, and her brown eyes scream, "Get to know me," and for a place as cold as this, I’ve never seen such warmth. I have a fucking lump in my throat even though she’s across the entire gym and hasn’t noticed me.

She waves at the people behind the counter, starting a friendly conversation.

Her voice travels across the gym, and everyone stills.

Nobody in this gym makes a fucking peep. The world pauses for the moment in her presence, and it seems like I’m not the only one affected by her.

I keep sprinting on the treadmill, needing to get rid of this feeling inside me. Ten seconds. Twenty. Keep. Fucking. Pushing.

The treadmill next to mine lights up, but I don’t look over.

The gym isn’t packed, but it’s not that empty.

Someone might not have the conscience of personal space, so I don’t think much of it.

I just need to finish this sprint and get away from this person.

I’m almost done. I nearly reach my peak, but fuck it, I need to get away from this person invading my space.

When I lower my pace to a fast walk, I glance over, and to my surprise, it’s her.

My knees buckle, and I grab onto the machine before I fall onto the belt. It takes me less than a second to catch myself, but I still look like a fucking goof.

“Whoa there,” she says once I’ve stood up.

I run my fingers through my mullet and hop back on the belt.

I gotta love this mullet. She looks at my hair, and I feel the need to defend this stupid ass haircut.

Last week at Rocky’s party, someone dared me to rock it like this for the rest of the month. I look like a moron.

“You okay?” she smiles. I glance at her perfect teeth, her beautiful lips stretched across them. And do I smell candy?

I blink, realizing that I’m staring. Fuck, I haven’t said a word. Then I look forward, noticing that everyone is staring at us. Shit. There’s no way a guy like me could land the interest of a girl like her.

There’s no fucking way.

I’m not ugly, but I’m also not the best-looking dude.

I’m no Greyson Cress, man. I don’t have the strong jaw, a good nose, or the hair.

Thanks to this fucking mullet. Honestly, I’m a fucking wreck.

And I’m embarrassed as hell right now. With a girl like her?

She’s America’s goddamn sweetheart. And she would never have eyes for a guy like me.

“Here,” she says. “Take a picture of me. Make sure the angles are good.”

I don’t even know her name, and she’s ordering me around? I take her phone and point it at her, taking one picture. Fuck social media, dude. It brainwashes the hell out of everyone. Here is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and the confidence makes sense now. She knows she’s a smoke show.

She jokes, “You know the joke, take a picture, it lasts longer?”

I point the phone down, looking her in the eye. She looks forward and continues, “I’ll have that picture forever to remind me of how you’re dragging your jaw on the ground, new guy.”

I clench my jaw, wondering if I’ve seriously been dragging it on the ground since the moment she walked in. I probably have.

I stare, holding her phone out.

She laughs. “Take more than one picture, for God’s sake. What is it with you men? I need a dozen at least.”

I shut down my treadmill and hop off to get the shot she wants. Her perfect ass, and then from the side. I hand her phone back, this time leaving it balanced on the treadmill screen.

“What’s your name?” she asks.

Holy fuck. Now is not a good time. Why is she even talking to me?

“Dylan.”

“Dylan,” she says, walking sideways to look at me. “Wanna know why I came over here?”

I shrug. “You wanted me to take pictures of you because they last longer. I get it. I was staring for a moment too long, wasn’t I?”

There. Gave her what she wanted to hear.

She smiles, and I’ll be damned. Am I the reason for that beautiful smile? Because it feels like I can’t breathe.

“Well, for starters, I’ve never seen you here before. I practically live here. And everyone finally has their eyes on someone else, other than me.”

I scoff, knowing that’s not true. The moment she walked in, all eyes turned to her. And up close, she’s somehow even more beautiful. I didn’t know someone could be so perfect.

“They’re not looking at me. Trust me.”

“Everyone’s staring at you,” she says, so I glance around. Is everyone staring at me? Okay. I catch black eyes, and then a guy’s head is turned, then blue eyes, then brown eyes. All facing my direction. Yep, they’re all staring.

I agree, “I don’t normally come here.”

“We established that already,” she says. “Do you want to be friends?”

My eyes flick to hers, and she shrugs.

“Could be fun.”

Someone walks past us and says, “Hey, Cecily.”

She smiles back. “What’s up, Cory? Still pushing through that pain?”

He nods. “Don’t give me that look, Ce. I’m trying here.”

She laughs, and I can’t stop staring at her. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

Cory says, “But your eyes are doing the talking.”

She rolls her eyes. “I hate that.” She covers them. “There.”

He laughs, and I watch her light up when she puts her hand down.

Cory walks off, and then she turns back to me. Before she can get a word out, someone else walks by.

“Hey, Ce. Wanna––”

I turn around to look at who’s talking, wondering if this gym is filled with beautiful models. But the girl talking is just a plain Jane who lights up like the Fourth of July when she sees me.

“Oh my god.” She covers her mouth. Her eyes bulge. Jesus. “Oh my god. Sorry. Hi.”

“Hi,” I say, awkward and confused.

She’s clutching her chest, turning bright red. “Sorry. Oh my god. Sorry. You don’t have to, Cecily. Uh.”

She watches the girl run off, calling after her, “I’ll be there in a second!”

I turn back to her. “You’re like a local celebrity in here.” I point behind me. “Is that girl okay?”

Cecily watches her. “I’m not sure. It must be because you’re here. Do you know her?”

“Me?” I ask, watching the girl run and awkwardly turn back around to see if we’re looking. Shit. God, I knew I shouldn’t have come here. “I have never seen her before.”

“How often do you work out?” she asks, turning off the treadmill she had on for a minute. She keeps her feet on the sides as she waits for it to come to a complete stop.

“Every day,” I blurt out, noticing again that everyone is staring.

“That’s probably not good. How intense?”

I smile now, wondering what she’s getting at.

“I got a smile,” she says. “I was wondering when you’d drop the whole deer-in-the-headlights look.”

I don’t want to tell her I’m a hockey player. I don’t want to say to her that I’m training, that I’m an athlete. I want to seem like a regular guy, but by the looks of her friend still gawking over me, she might already know I play hockey.

“I’m gonna hit the weight rack. I’ll––”

“Same,” she says, and I’ve never in my entire life ever been so thrown off by the personality of a girl. She’s outgoing, friendly, and social. And drop dead gorgeous. Most girls like this are neither kind nor outgoing, nor even touchable. This one is full of warmth and seems to have a lot to give.

“Are you always like this?” I blurt, curiosity winning every cell of my body.

Another guy walks by and says, “What’s up, Ce?”

She smiles and waves at him. “What’s up?”

I watch his eyes flick up and down her body, but her attention is already on me.

I feel like my gut’s being stabbed right now. He’s really looking at her like she’s a piece of meat while she’s innocently greeting him. Some guys really only care about one thing.

“If you want, you can join me.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want to intrude. Thank you. Have a good day.”

I walk off, heading for the weights, wondering if this is me playing hard to get or if I have a serious fucking problem because she’s throwing herself at me, isn’t she?

I don’t want to think too hard about it.

Beautiful or not, approaching me while at the gym is an annoying trait. Even though it’s clear that she’s friends with everyone here, I don’t have the capacity to chat and make a new friend right now. I set the bar with weights and repeat the best mantra I can come up with right now.

Don’t look at her.

Don’t look at her.

Don’t look at her.