Chapter Eighteen
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Brothers. Twins. Forever, to the end.
Wolfe
I close the door to Leora’s house behind me and join Fox on her front porch after we have successfully completed our mission to get her home safely.
“Thank you for helping me,” I say as we descend the steps to the path that leads to my twin’s large, black truck sitting behind Leora’s pale yellow Honda Fit in the driveway.
Fox’s vehicle is about as far from my clunky minivan as you can get, thankfully, which means we won’t have to worry about it breaking down as he drives us back home from dropping Leora and her car off—the entire reason we chose his truck instead of my van when we left the bar.
“And thank you for helping Leora,” I add.
He nods, humming thoughtfully. “I’d do anything for you.
You know that. And I like Leora. In general, and for you.
You seem… I don’t know. I don’t want to say happier with her, because that’s not quite right.
Relaxed isn’t really the word I’m looking for either…
Maybe hopeful? Like there’s a future you can see where things don’t feel so heavy, and you’re getting nearer to it. ”
“I am hopeful,” I confirm softly. “I want to be a better man than what I’ve been in the past, for myself, sure, but mostly for the people around me. I don’t want to screw up again like I did with you. I want to be better. And she’s helping me see that I can and how I can.”
I cross the front of the truck, but stop on the opposite side of the hood when Fox calls my name.
He stands frowning at me, leaning over the dark metal.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he says, not for the first time.
“You did what you thought was right, and I wouldn’t have let you do much more anyway. Stop beating yourself up over it.”
I grunt, but there’s not quite as much self-hate in it as there would have been mere weeks ago.
“I’m not beating myself up,” I tell him, then continue before he can call me a liar.
“I’m not. Not in the way you think I am.
I just… I want to be better, and I’m getting better.
You weren’t at that meeting Leora held, so you didn’t get to see all of my cons neatly listed in rows.
I’m sure Poem told you about it. I’m sure Almond did, too.
But it’s not the same, Fox. Knowing about it and seeing it?
” I shake my head. “Very different experiences. I knew something needed to change. Then I saw something needed to change. So I’m doing it.
I’m changing things. It’s hard, and it sucks, and it’s seriously uncomfortable, but it’s like you said.
I see a future that looks light, and it’s just within reach.
I’m doing my best to grasp it and hold on tight. ”
Fox considers me for long, silent minutes. Finally, he says, “So long as you know that I love you, no matter what version of you that you are.”
I smile softly. “Of course I know that. You’re Fox. My brother, my twin, my womb-hogging other half. You love me even when I’m not here for you like I should be, or taking care of you like I should be, either. You love me to foolishness.”
He scowls. “You were the womb hog.”
I laugh, shake my head, and climb into the truck.
He follows, and we spend the ride home comforting and reassuring each other that we’re okay in the best way that twins know how—by arguing over who took the Wolfe’s share of the womb… or the Fox’s share, depending on whose story you believe.