Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
The weight of dread heavy on my shoulders, I moved in slow motion to the clinic room.
The thought of seeing Nico filled me with despair.
Certainly, all the admiration I’d seen in his beautiful green eyes the last time we were together would undoubtedly be replaced with disgust, pity, or some combination of the two.
Granted, I acknowledged that my reaction made no sense. I’d basked in Nico’s admiration for an extremely short period, less than twenty-four hours to be exact, in a total of three encounters. But I couldn’t help feeling dread at seeing him again, just as I couldn’t stop fantasizing about him.
Even if I’d been the type of person who believed falling in love more than once in a lifetime wasn’t a crazy stupid thing to do, Nico wasn’t interested anymore. He also wasn’t my type.
He was hot like lava and sexy like cake. Wait…like lava cake. Nice.
He was annoyingly witty and intelligent.
He was thoughtful and kind to his family.
He was too likeable, too charismatic.
Ok, he was my type, damn it.
But, I reminded myself, he is also the Nico Manganiello who made my childhood hell and….
I paused, actually stopped walking, and was struck by the complete lack of anger I felt toward him now. Yes, the memories still chaffed; yes, his actions years ago were still hurtful to think about.
However, Nico’s apology, my own mistakes and regrets, and relief from finally knowing the reason why I was harassed, all mixed together to produce a mysterious mystical forgiveness, as follows:
[Nico’s Heartfelt Apology x (My Mistakes + My Regrets)] + Reason Why = Mystical Forgiveness
I leaned against the wall and searched my mental grudge inventory. His name was missing. I was no longer angry at Nico.
“Huh.” I said to the empty hall…weird.
Haltingly, I continued down the corridor to the CRU, trying to find some reason to dislike him. It took me seven steps to remember that he was a comedian who made his living trying to get celebrities naked on television. I used this as fuel and allowed myself to get worked up.
He was frequently naked on his show; there were mostly nude women parading around and giggling for God’s sake—giggling, half-naked women. How could I ever respect someone who thought that was ok? How could I respect myself if I condoned it?
It doesn’t matter anyway. He’s never going to be interested in you now, so stop confusing yourself, weirdo.
When I rounded the corner to the Clinical Research Unit nurses’ station, I was so lost in my internal nonsensical struggle that I didn’t immediately see Dr. Botstein and Nico huddled together by the door to room 410, or Meg hovering in front of the nurses’ counter.
I was nearly upon them when Dr. Botstein’s voice pulled me from my musings, causing me to stumble over my own feet. “Ah. Here she is.”
I looked from Nico to Dr. Botstein—who was smiling. It was freakish and bizarre to see Dr. Botstein smile. It made me immensely uncomfortable so I opted to look at Nico instead.
“I….”
I didn’t know what to say, so I met his stare directly. Where I predicted a pang of sad embarrassment, I was met with a shock of hot awareness. Nico wasn’t looking at me with pity or disgust. His gaze held mine hostage, and he was eye twinkling like a champ.
I’d been gaze-hijacked.
“I….”
Then he smirked, his lids lowering to half-mast. There he stood—twinkling, hot lava, sexy cake, sex on a stick, obscene levels of charisma.
Freaking Nico.
I sighed. It was a weak woman sigh. It was the sigh of a female helpless ensnared by the hypnotic gaze of the guy she fantasizes about.
I’d never been so happy to hear the sound of Dr. Botstein’s voice; it was a hard sharp slap to my cranium. “Dr. Finney, I believe you are acquainted with Mr. Moretti.”
“Hello, Elizabeth.” Nico nodded his head once in my direction.
“Nic—I mean, Mr. Moretti. Good to see you.”
Nico smiled at me, caught his bottom lip between his teeth. My breath hitched, and then my stomach flipped at the simple action. His effortless and playful sexiness was mind-muddlingly maddening.
“I think it’s ok for you to call me Nico. Dr. Botstein is aware of our relationship.”
“Our…?”
“Yes, well, Mr. Moretti already explained the nature of everything.” Dr. Botstein returned his attention to Nico.
At this point Meg crossed to stand next to me, and nudged me with her elbow.
I ignored her as Dr. Botstein continued.
“We’re just pleased that you’ve decided to enroll your niece in our clinical trial. ”
“You have?” I was surprised.
Most of Nico’s nimble playfulness waned with a shift in the conversation to serious matters; his expression turned sober. “Yes. My mother and I called Dr. Botstein last week and talked through our questions.”
“You did?” I asked.
Meg nudged me again with her elbow. Again, I ignored her.
“Yes, Dr. Finney.” Dr. Botstein said, exhaling his impatience. “I saw no reason to discuss the matter with you as I wasn’t aware that you knew the family. Besides, your research rotation was set to end tomorrow. Obviously, it will be extended.”
“It will?” A troubling thought immediately arrested my attention. I was worried that the decision to enroll Angelica in the clinical trial had something to do with me, or more precisely, it had something to do with Nico and me.
“Yes. Obviously.” Dr. Botstein said, looking at me with a blank expression as if my slow comprehension required infinite patience.
Meg elbowed me again, this time with a great deal of force. I turned slightly to give her the stink eye, but before I could, I found her glaring at me with unfettered displeasure. She was giving me the stink eye.
Hag.
Dr. Botstein continued. “And, obviously, everything will be done under my strict supervision. I have complete faith in Dr. Finney, of course, but as I explained last week, the infusion schedule is rigorous. Since you’ve opted out of an admission to the CRU, bringing little Angelica back to the hospital every eight hours for the next twenty-eight days will require a great deal of dedication. ”
Nico nodded. “We understand.”
“Wait.” I pulled my attention from Meg’s death stare. “I don’t understand; why is my research rotation being extended?”
“Because, Mr. Moretti and his mother requested that you treat the patient during the study period.”
Meg finally spoke, her voice false and chipper.
She glared at me and said, “But don’t worry.
My research rotation will start as scheduled, and the research nurses will conduct the other patient visits as usual.
I just won’t be taking care of Angelica—seeing as you are such good friends with the family. ”
I stared at her, my eyebrows meeting my hairline. “I’m going to do what?”
Dr. Botstein shifted, pulled his pager from where it had been clipped to his scrubs.
“Excuse me.” He glanced at the screen and tsked.
“It looks like I’ll need to get this. Thanks so much for coming in today.
Dr. Finney will get Angelica started on the paperwork and screening tests; it’s all very run-of-the-mill.
Please call me—day or night—with any questions. I’m here to help.”
“Thank you. We appreciate everything.” Nico said as the two men shook hands.
With a curt head bob in my direction that seemed to convey both annoyance and respect, Dr. Botstein turned and stalked away from us. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and barked orders to some faceless person on the other end.
My eyes locked again with Nico’s, and I noticed that I was holding my breath as if I were waiting for…something. Silence stretched. Nothing happened—well, nothing other than the unwavering intensity of his gaze, my resulting increase in heart rate, and our lengthy staring contest.
Someone cleared a throat very loudly and I turned toward the sound.
The clinical research nurses were sitting behind the nurses’ station, pretending to work but obviously eavesdropping on the entire conversation.
They both peered at me with Cheshire grins.
I glanced at my feet, attempted to gather my wits.
I sensed that Meg was about to nudge me again with her sharp elbow, so I sidestepped the movement and advanced on Nico.
I felt an acute need to speak with him alone.
Despite his and Dr. Botstein’s assurances, I wanted to make sure Rose and Nico had made a fully informed decision about Angelica’s treatment.
And, if I were being completely honest, I just wanted to be alone with him—preferably in some enclosed space where I could smell him.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?” My eyes shifted to the clinic room where Rose and Angelica were visible through the open door. I gave the pair a small smile of greeting, then returned my attention to Nico and added, “Privately?”
“Sure.” He didn’t frown, but he didn’t smile either. However, his eyes dropped to my mouth and lingered there.
“Ok—here.” I grabbed his hand. “Come with me.” I pulled Nico after me, not stopping to consider why I’d decided to hold his hand when a simple gesture to follow would have sufficed.
It wasn’t because I desired contact with him, loved the shock of awareness that spread through me where we connected, craved it like a drug addict in need of a dopamine fix… nope, none of that.
I led him to a vacant infusion room down the hall. I pushed him inside. I ignored the curious glances from Meg and the nurses as I shut the door.
Gathering a steadying breath, I turned to face Nico and was fully prepared to interrogate him about his reasons for moving forward with the research study. Instead I found him just behind me, less than three feet away, and his proximity rendered me stupid.
I could smell him. He smelled quite good. Therefore, when I met his gaze, I could only manage to breathe out one word. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he said. He was leaning against the wall with one shoulder, outwardly relaxed and wholly at ease.
Curses!
And he was looking at me funny.