10. Asher
TEN
ASHER
I spent most of my early college days just scraping by in all my classes. For the most part, it was because they were all the basic classes you’re required to take before settling down and deciding on a major. I’d always had my heart and mind set on real estate. I should have mixed in a few business classes with the basic ones to keep up my interest, but against my better judgment, I didn’t, mostly because I knew life can change when you least expect it. Commitment was no longer in my blood.
It wasn’t until my third year of college that I finally got up off my ass and worked to earn the degree I’d always dreamed of.
Charleigh’s tardiness reminds me of the first few years I spent in college, after I left her. Back when we were together, she was always the more organized one between the two of us. Everything she did was meticulously planned down to the slightest detail. At times, it was a trait I admired. Other times, it would drive me insane.
Today, she is driving me insane.
She’s obviously changed over the years. Maybe Charleigh isn’t the same woman she once was, just as she claims I’m not the same man I used to be, either .
Which I’m not.
I’ve been standing in my office, staring at the city below, waiting for her. She’s nearly an hour late. I arrived at work an hour early, searching for properties within Charleigh’s budget. Most of them held great potential, but there was one that stood out above the rest. It isn’t too far from the part of the city I work in—only about ten blocks from my office. I want to show her that place first, knowing it’s the best shot I have at convincing her to buy with me over Cyrus.
But my confidence is dwindling more with every second that passes.
I walk over to the phone resting on my desk and press the intercom button with a firm finger. “Has Ms. Keeler arrived yet?”
“No, sir,” Janette replies quickly. “But, wait?—”
I cut Janette off. I place my hands on my hips and turn to look back out the window. “Fuck.”
“Hey, I’m sorry I’m a little late.”
I whip my head toward the front of my office. Charleigh’s standing in the doorway, with a coffee perched in each of her hands.
I narrow my eyes and firmly press my lips together. My teeth are already grinding. “You’re nearly an hour late.”
She raises her shoulders innocently, then flashes me a smile. Her dark hair is full and curled, framing her gorgeous face. She sweeps her tongue across her pale-pink-painted lips. Her chest quickly rises and falls with every breath, her breasts pushing against the buttons holding her floral blouse shut. Her black skirt hugs her full, round hips, accentuating every single fucking curve.
Shit. How can one woman be so insanely beautiful yet so nerve racking at the same time ?
“I grabbed you a coffee.” She crosses my office and holds her arm out, offering it to me.
I reluctantly take it and keep my narrowed eyes focused on her, ignoring the twitch of my dick.
“How did you know how I take my coffee?” The last time Charleigh and I were together, we never drank coffee. Charleigh was the only one who did since her father owned the most expensive espresso machine on the market. My mother traded hers for vodka, and for me, it was a luxury I couldn’t afford.
“I didn’t.” She chuckles against the lid. “I ordered yours the same way I order mine.”
I take a sip, wincing at how sweet it is.
“What is this?” I ask, scrunching my nose and setting it down on my desk. “Pure sugar with a dash of coffee?”
“No.” She steps closer. The scent of flowers and vanilla immediately surrounds me. “It’s called a vanilla latte. It’s pretty standard.”
I close my mouth, trying not to let her closeness affect me. We’re standing almost toe to toe. I wonder if she even notices herself breaking her own boundary. Maybe it comes naturally to her without her realizing it.
I bite the inside of my cheek, tempted to lean forward and press my lips to hers. Her flowery scent draws me in. My body and mind remember exactly what she feels and tastes like, and they crave it all again. Like a drug I quit years ago, the mind remembers the high it got from knowing I’d been the only one to touch her back then. She was mine and only mine.
I clear my throat and shut off my computer before grabbing my suit jacket from the back of my chair.
“Come on.” I head toward the door of my office, carrying my sickeningly-sweet coffee with me, leaving her behind.
Charleigh’s heels click across the hardwood floor as she struggles to keep up with my pace. I can’t help it. It’s as if my mind is telling my feet to keep a distance from her. If I’m not careful, I might allow myself to make a move I’ll regret later.
Charleigh isn’t a woman I can get mixed up with again. Not like the women I fucked in college or the brief moment in time when I slightly considered fucking Janette.
No. Charleigh is different, and I need to watch myself carefully.
“Asher,” she says behind me. “You’re walking awfully fast.”
She eventually catches up to me when I reach the elevator. I toss the coffee in the bin bolted to the wall and press the call button, glancing over my shoulder. “I have to make up for lost time since you were an hour late.”
“I was trying to do a nice thing and bring you coffee.” From the corner of my eye, I feel her stare pinning me with daggers. “I can’t help it if it took a little longer than usual. It also took me a while to hail a cab.”
I turn to face her.
“You’ve lived here for ten years, and this is New York City. You should have expected it.” My mouth is catching all the irritation in my brain and running away with it.
“Not everyone has a driver waiting for them at their every beck and call,” she fires back. “Not all of us are drowning in copious amounts of money.”
I grind my jaw, her words adding salt to a wound I didn’t even know was open.
“You know what?” She turns her head, eyeing the door for the stairwell in the corner of the lobby. “I knew this was a bad idea. We can’t work like this. I’ll just work with what Cyrus sent me.”
Maybe she’s right. A past like ours isn’t easy to forget.
She tosses her own coffee in the same trash bin before turning on her heel and briskly marching toward the stairs. I watch her leave, her ass shaking side to side against her tight skirt.
“Dammit.” I run my palm down the side of my face, then jog to catch up to her before she makes it to the door. I grab her hand, pulling her to a stop.
There she is again. Drawing me in like a moth to a fucking flame.
“Wait.”
She turns around. There’s a sadness to her eyes, and I know it’s from me. I just don’t know if it’s from the Asher I am now or the old one who broke her heart at eighteen.
“I’m sorry.”
Charleigh laughs, ripping her hand from mine and crossing her arms. “Yeah, right, Asher. You’ve never been one to apologize.” Avoiding my stare, she impatiently looks up at the elevator, clearly frustrated. She stamps her heel.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, too stunned to focus on the slow ass elevator. Her words have, once again, burrowed their way under my skin, burning me from the inside out.
She closes her eyes and lets out a sigh, rolling her head in my direction. When she opens them again, there’s still a hint of sadness, but they’ve brightened slightly. “It doesn’t mean anything. It’s been a rough morning. Let’s forget it.”
“Forget the comment, or forget working with me?” I ask cautiously.
Her eyes tighten as if she’s trying to make up her mind on whether to trust me or not. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.” Done waiting for the snail-paced elevator, she turns on her heel, searching each corner of my office floor before she finally finds what she’s looking for. I follow her gaze, and before I have a chance to stop her, she’s already made it to stairwell door, pushing her entire weight into it.
She disappears down the stairwell while I stay in the doorway, holding my arm out to keep it open. “Are you crazy, Charleigh? You’re really going to take the stairs instead of the elevator?”
She’s already made it down the first flight before she pauses long enough on the landing to look up at me. “First of all, I’m not crazy.” Then she grins. Fuck. “Second, you’ve never taken the time to use the stairs?”
“No,” I tell her, rolling my eyes. I give in and follow her. “Not when my office is on the fifty-second floor. You may feel differently about using the stairs if you worked here every day.”
“I don’t know about that.” She waits for me to catch up to her.
Our cadences match one another as our feet hit each step. I glance down, confused as to how she’s able to walk down this many stairs in the heels she’s wearing.
“How long have you been in New York?” she asks, trepidation in her voice. Talking about the time between when I left her and right now is like walking on eggshells.
“Since the beginning of the year.”
“Oh,” she mutters. “So, not long.”
“Nope.” I let out a heavy sigh. “It took a lot for me to agree to finally move part of my firm out here from Los Angeles.”
“Do you plan on staying?”
Her question causes me to hesitate to take the next step. I nearly trip on the edge of the metal stair but quickly right myself before Charleigh notices.
She appears unfazed by her question, as if there is no ill intent or resentment laced in her words. But I can’t ignore the sting to my chest.
“I planned on it,” I tell her. “But I haven’t completely decided. I still have business back over there and my office out in Los Angeles. I’ve considered switching my primary office to New York, though.”
“Huh.” She twists her mouth in thought, and despite us walking down the stairs, I don’t pay attention to where I’m walking. From the corner of my eye, I study her face. I take note of every line and every curve. The way her bottom lip shines in the yellow lights of the stairwell to the sharp arch of her eyebrow framing her bright eye.
The corner of her mouth tilts into a playful smile when she quickly glances over at me before beginning the next set of stairs.
“I bet you’ll miss the L.A. weather.”
I’m thankful for the shift. Weather is good. Weather is safe.
My body lightens with our new topic of conversation, despite our never-ending descent to the first floor. I read the paint on the wall and see we’re only on the forty-first level.
What the fuck?
“After living in New England my entire life, L.A. was certainly a change. I liked the warm weather, but I won’t deny I missed the changing of the seasons.”
“I can see that.” She grins, displaying her perfect teeth. “It’s like spring.”
I cock an eyebrow. “The changing of the seasons is like spring?”
She laughs, shaking her head. “I meant that nature steals from itself in the winter. Flowers wilt and dry up. The trees are forced to shed their leaves. Everything becomes dark and exposed, stripped down to its barest form. But then spring comes along and gives nature a gift.”
“So, what you’re saying is that nature is its own worst enemy.” I scoff, laughing under my breath. “Sounds like nature can be an asshole.”
“Sometimes.” She chuckles. “But that’s the beauty in it.”
“There’s beauty in loss? ”
She glances at me. “No, but there’s beauty in its forgiveness.”
I can’t quite figure out what it is, but my chest is warming as we continue talking. It’s as if the small pieces of the old Charleigh I chose to forget are slowly slipping back in. I remind myself to be careful to not let her in too much, though. There were reasons I pushed Charleigh away the last time I saw her, and I need to remember why before I cross a line I don’t want to cross.
We travel down the next thirty flights in silence, the sound of our footsteps the only noise bouncing off the cement walls. About four flights back, I noticed Charleigh’s pace starting to slow. It’s now taking her nearly twice as long to travel down one flight. Her lips press tightly together as her eyes narrow. She lifts her foot as she takes a step, rolling her ankle to release the tension. I can tell she’s hiding her pain from me. I bite the inside of my cheek, trying not to laugh.
“What?” She winces again, this time more noticeably. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“Your feet hurt, don’t they?”
“No.” She gives me a side glance and tips her chin up. “I’m fine.”
When we take the next step, her mouth pushes out an audible hissing sound.
I freeze. She’s a step below me, but she’s standing on the landing. The door to the thirteenth floor is behind her.
“You’re lying.” I point to her feet. “Those heels are killing you. Admit it.”
“They are not. I told you, I’m fine.”
“Quit being ridiculous. You can’t finish out these last twelve levels. We’ll take the elevator from here, and you can go home to change. ”
“I said I was fine, Asher. I’m not going home to change. It’ll be a waste of time when we’re already behind.”
“Fine.” I groan. “Then, I’ll have my driver take us to a shoe store along the way.”
“Are you kidding? I’m not wasting money on a new pair of shoes, either.”
“I’ll pay for them.”
“No.” Her eyes flash with anger and frustration. “You are not buying me shoes.”
She moves to take another step but winces again. I don’t hesitate; instinct taking me over.
“Come here.” I step off the last step to get even with her and open my arms.
She takes a step back. “What are you doing?”
I keep my arms out, taking another step closer to her. “If you’re going to be stubborn, I’ll carry you the rest of the way.”
“No, you won’t.” She begins shaking her head. “Absolutely not. I’ll just take my shoes off.” She reaches down, ready to remove one of her heels.
“That’s disgusting, Charleigh. You’ll catch tetanus or some shit like that.”
She shrugs, bending down again to remove her heel. “I’ll survive. Plus, if I end up catching something or hurting myself, you can carry me to the hospital.”
I roll my eyes. She’s nearly pulled off her shoe when I reach down and wrap my arms around her legs. She yelps as I lift her up and bend her over my shoulder. Her warmth immediately meets my chest and shoulder, radiating down the length of my body.
“Asher! What the hell?”
“Your feet hurt, and there’s no way in hell I’m letting you walk barefoot.”
“Put me down.” She swats at my back, her arms flailing against my muscles as she kicks her legs out, batting them back and forth. Her feet hit my ribs repeatedly.
“Nope.” I begin walking down the stairs, careful as I take each step. The last thing I need is to trip and fall, dropping Charleigh along the way. I have one arm wrapped around the back of her thighs while my other hand rests on the small of her spine.
“You’re such an asshole,” Charleigh mutters through gritted teeth.
“I never claimed not to be.” Her entire body is warm against my shoulder, and I find myself grinding my jaw once again, only this time it isn’t because she’s irritated me. This time it’s because she’s turned me on. My entire body heats with Charleigh against me.
I bite down on the tip of my tongue fighting the urge to spank her round ass next to my face for both being late and making me walk down this obscene number of stairs. My cock twitches at the thought.
I’ve already crossed the line, and I know it. We could have easily taken the elevator, but with each level we pass, I choose not to. It’s a decision I’m aware of with every level we descend. I tell myself I’m carrying her because listening to her complain for another twelve flights would drive me insane. It’s better to believe the lies than to accept the truth. She really isn’t complaining that much. I should have let her walk barefoot. I should have let her go. But the old Asher I was when I was with Charleigh is starting to peek through the cracks in the walls I’ve built around myself. I hate to admit it, but her company is growing on me.
The silence between us swells for another few flights. As much as I’m trying to concentrate on the next step, all I can think about is my arm around Charleigh’s thick thighs. My fingers pressed into the small of her back. I swallow the tension growing in my throat at the reminder of how she tastes. I squeeze her thigh, forcing myself to get my mind back on track, but the audible heavy breath sinking from Charleigh’s body is too loud to ignore. My touch is doing something to her. Lighting her up inside, the same as it is me.
“So,” Charleigh says, lifting her head. She grips the back of my jacket and shirt, pulling herself up far enough to look at the wall behind me. Her fists clutching the fabric of my shirt loosens it from beneath my belt. “Tell me your favorite thing you loved about L.A. Besides the food.”
I laugh, wrapping my arms tighter around her thighs. I brush off the urge to slide my hand under the fabric of her skirt and sink my fingers into her just to see how wet she is. “My dad taught me how to surf. I was terrified my first time, but once I got the hang of it, I couldn’t stop. Until I moved into the dorm at UCLA freshman year, it was the first thing I’d do every day.”
I can tell my indulgence in sharing one of the few details about my father has stunned her. She holds her breath, her body growing heavy against mine. Her clenched fists loosen on my jacket, but she still holds on. “Oh, I, um… so, it worked out with your dad, then?”
We’ve reached the second floor now. Only one more flight to go until we make it to the lobby. I could easily release Charleigh and let her walk the last few steps, but I don’t. I keep my arms wrapped around her, and her body pressed to mine.
I clear my throat and take the first step of the last flight. “It did.”
Several seconds of silence.
“It makes me happy to know one of your parents turned out to be a good person.” Her words come out low and soft.
I inhale a deep breath, unsure how to feel. Yes, my father turned out to be a decent human being, but in my mind, it was too little too late. The damage had already been done. He couldn’t erase the kind of woman my mother had turned out to be, and he certainly couldn’t erase what had happened to her, causing me to leave Connecticut and live with him. He also couldn’t change the fact that I had left Charleigh, removing her from every aspect of my life. Moving out there on a whim in the hopes my mother’s stories about him were lies was a major risk.
“Yeah.” It’s the single word I can think to use in response to Charleigh. Talking about my father is heavy, if only because he’s a subject that reminds me of why I left her. Speaking of my father could also lead to a conversation about my mother and the fire that destroyed her and nearly destroyed Charleigh—topics I don’t want to revisit. This time I shift the focus of the conversation to her.
“What about you? Was NYU everything you hoped it would be?” My thumb presses into her thigh. The feeling it gives me causes my heart to hammer in my chest.
“It was good. After my freshman year, I got a job at a floral shop down the street from campus. I spent most of my free time there, learning everything I could about running a floral business. If I wasn’t in class, I was there. Otherwise, school was great.”
Once I’ve made it to the first floor, I put Charleigh down, unraveling my arm from around her thighs. When she lands on her feet, she straightens her back and brushes her disheveled hair away from her face, smoothing it with her fingertips. She straightens her skirt and readjusts her purse on her arm, but all I can do is stare at her lips and ignore the heat in my lower belly.
“Thanks,” she mutters, her eyes meeting mine.
“You’re welcome.”
We stand in the stairwell, and it’s not until I pull my phone out of my pocket do I realize how long it has taken us to walk down the stairs. “Thirty minutes?” I say, raising my voice. “It took us thirty minutes to use the stairs instead of the elevator. ”
She shrugs, wincing again, the same way she did before I carried her. “Um, yeah. Sorry. I didn’t think it would take that long.”
“What do you mean you didn’t think it would take this long?” I gesture toward the stairs. “Haven’t you walked these before?”
She laughs. “Never. I was mad at you for the way you were talking to me upstairs. I didn’t intend to walk the entire way, but you followed me, so I figured we could just keep going. I honestly didn’t know it would take as long as it did.”
I run my fingers through my hair, pushing the ends up off my forehead. “You drive me fucking insane, Charleigh. Do you know that?”
“I know I do, but you have to admit, you kind of deserved it.” With her pink mouth curled into a smirk, she reaches into her purse, pulling out her phone. “Now,” she says, typing out a text. “Where are we headed for the first listing you’re showing me?”
“Wait,” I say, hesitating. “You’re still going to work with me?”
“Why not?” Charleigh’s hot-and-cold attitude is beginning to give me whiplash. Though I guess the same could be said for me. We’re driving each other insane, but the more I stare into Charleigh’s eyes, the more I realize we’re both starting to enjoy it.
I point my finger toward the top of the stairs. “Because of what you said up there. You made it sound like you might back out.”
“Like I said, I was getting back at you for the way you were acting. I told you I would give you chance.” She shrugs. “This is me keeping my word.”
The blush on her cheeks has now faded, and her expression is stoic. It’s as if all the lighthearted conversation and energy has been sucked out of the room.
“Look, Charleigh…” My words trail off while I consider what to say. Our conversation on the fifty-two-flight descent has already been more than anything I’ve shared with anyone in the past decade—Charleigh being the last person I opened up to. Talking with her feels natural, much like riding a bike. For the first time in ages, it’s easy, but a small part of me knows the past between Charleigh and me is anything but easy. It’s complicated, messy, and tragic. “I?—”
“It’s okay, Asher,” Charleigh says, cutting me off. “You don’t need to say anything. I shouldn’t have been late in the first place. This is strictly business, and I need to keep that in mind.”
“Right.” I nod, buttoning my suit jacket, slipping back into agent mode.
“Good,” she says, the light leaving her eyes. “Now, show me the first place you have for me on your list.”