17. Asher
SEVENTEEN
ASHER
I don’t regret a goddamn thing.
Lying with Charleigh pulls me back to that night. The night we gave ourselves to one another. I cling to the good parts of it, shoving aside everything that happened the moment after I trailed her collarbone for the last time. The way I thought her dad had drained every ounce of my life from me only to go home and be proven wrong.
I drag the tip of my finger across that same collarbone, noting the small flower inked into her skin. The innocence Charleigh once had is gone. Evidence neither of us are the same people we were then.
My touch stirs her awake. Her eyes remain closed, but her soft-pink lips stretch into a delicate smile.
“Mm.” She hums and squirms beneath the sheets, rubbing her feet across the bed. The moonlight pours across her frame, highlighting every inch of her naked body.
I drag my finger across her collarbone once more before pulling the sheet down the rest of her body. Her nipples harden like pebbles when I trace my finger around them. The honey is completely washed away by the shower we took together a few hours ago. We were a sticky mess, but every bit of honey was worth it.
“Asher.” She moans my name on a near whisper, and my dick immediately hardens, but I want to watch her. Seeing her earlier, covered in honey, with my mouth on her, did incredible things to me. I’ve never seen anything so fucking beautiful.
I’m craving to see it again. See her again.
I slip my hand between her thighs. “Already so wet for me.” I push my fingers between her folds. They move easily until I find her clit. She arches her back, and tilts her head back, pressing into her pillow.
“I was dreaming of you,” she says, rolling her head to the side.
I lean forward and press my lips to hers. “Oh, yeah?” My dick twitches at the thought of her getting this turned on by dreaming about me.
“Yes.” She breathes heavily, her chest sinking on her exhale. “We were in my flower shop.”
“Is that a fantasy of yours?” I’m unable to hold back my smile. “Having sex in your flower shop?”
“I didn’t think it was until the dream,” she whispers. I can tell she’s getting close to her orgasm. Her legs constantly move as if she’s restless.
“But it is now?” I circle my fingers again, pinching her clit between my fingers.
A small yelp squeezes from her mouth. “Yes.”
“Huh.” I tilt my head and grin. “Something to keep in mind for the future.”
Charleigh’s breaths become quicker and deeper with each shift of my fingers. The word ‘future’ lingers in the heated air between us.
We don’t speak about the fact I used that word, because for us, we don’t know what that even means. The last time Charleigh and I talked about our future together, our lives were shattered and torn apart. Lives were lost.
Love comes with a price. The same could be said for the future.
Charleigh’s body tenses beneath me, and seeing her come undone is my own undoing. Being here with her is a welcome distraction from the thoughts invading my mind. I stifle her scream with a kiss, pouring everything I have into her, feeling her body shudder beneath me.
Once she’s finished, I pull my mouth away from hers.
“I want you inside me, Asher,” she begs.
“What do you want me to do?” I ask her, heart pounding. I reach down and start rubbing myself. My cock is already hard as stone, but I need some relief while I figure out Charleigh’s fantasy. “What did I do in your dream to make you wake up already willing and ready for me?”
“You had me bent over my prep table.” She tries to kiss me again, but I pull back, and her face falls in disappointment.
“Not until you tell me what you want me to do.” I stroke myself even faster. “What’s on your prep table?”
“It’s where we arrange the bouquets. Scraps of flowers and stems are usually scattered all over it. It’s a mess.”
“Mm,” I moan. “What did I do after I bent you over your prep table?”
Her gaze hardens, zeroing in on me. “You slid your cock into me and fucked me. Hard.”
I smirk. That was all I needed to fucking hear. Heat pools in my lower belly, and fire spreads down the length of my legs. The need to be inside Charleigh takes over. I’m quick to my knees.
She doesn’t have the chance to react before I flip her over, move behind her, and grab her hips, pulling her ass up to face me. She presses her face into the bed and keeps her hands beside her head, bracing herself. Her ass falls back, and my hardened cock presses into her crack. She’s so impatient.
I sit back on my heels and slowly run my palm over one of her round ass cheeks.
“So fucking beautiful, Little Flower.” I drag my finger down the length of her ass crack before finding her wetness again. She’s dripping between her supple flesh. I gather her wetness and start stroking myself to the sight of her in front of me.
Pushing up on her hands, she flips her hair and watches me over her shoulder. Her eyes bounce between my face and my hand stroking myself. Her doe eyes widen, and I can see the desire on her face.
“Trust me,” I grunt, not wanting to waste any more time. “I won’t finish without you.” I release my hand from around my cock and center myself in front of Charleigh. I smooth my hand over her lower back before giving her ass a smack.
She yelps and arches her back before relaxing. She’s facing the headboard of her bed, catching her breath.
“I’ve wanted to do that ever since I carried you down twelve flights of stairs with your beautiful ass practically in my face.”
I can’t see Charleigh’s face, but I hear the delight in her voice when she says, “Well, if that’s what I get as my punishment, then maybe I’ll have to do it again.” She likes it when I talk dirty to her.
I don’t say another word before I grip Charleigh’s full hips and drive my cock into her. Her whole body falls forward before she catches herself on the headboard. Her palm makes a loud smack, and her nails dig into the painted wood. I don’t waste any more time before pulling out of her just enough to drive myself back inside her again. Her walls clench around me, and I feel like I’m fucking high.
Heat explodes across my skin, and there are so many things I still want to do with Charleigh. I move in and out of her but watching the way the early morning sun glistens against her chestnut hair. Listening to the little moans coming from her mouth are my undoing.
I want to savor this, and I don’t want it to end, but I can’t help it. She feels too fucking good. With every push, she slams herself back, meeting me thrust for thrust. Her round ass pounds into me, and white-hot adrenaline pumps through my veins with my orgasm.
Charleigh slams herself into me harder as she comes at the same time I’m spilling myself inside her. She drops her head to her pillow, but I’m quick to pull her back up. I need to kiss her. I need more even though I should be done. I slip out of her and fall beside her, then I wrap my hand around her neck and pull her to me, pressing her lips to mine. She’s still working to catch her breath, and I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing myself to memorize this feeling.
Charleigh cups the side of my face and smiles against my mouth before pulling away, her forehead pressed to mine as she giggles.
“What is it?” I move my hand to tuck the stray strands of hair covering her face behind her ear.
“Nothing.” She sweeps her tongue across her pink lips.
“Doesn’t look or sound like it’s nothing.” I run my hand along her collarbone like I did earlier. “What is it?”
She closes her eyes and sighs before snapping them back open again. I notice her cheeks blooming with heat. “I never knew you were a dirty talker, Mr. Egan. You never were before.” Her eyes sparkle with both exhilaration and embarrassment.
I laugh. “We only had sex one other time, Charleigh, and you were my first. How would you have known I was a dirty talker before?”
Her face transforms, and it isn’t until she moves her eyes away from mine do I realize what I’ve said has pulled us both back down to earth. I didn’t explicitly say I’ve slept with other women, but I’ve definitely insinuated it. It’s not as if Charleigh should be surprised I’ve slept with other women in our ten years apart, though, and she isn’t. But talking about our past always seems to drag up old feelings—ones we’ve become experts at ignoring.
“Hey, I’m not the only guilty one here.” I try to pull her away from the rabbit hole I’m certain she’s falling down. “You’re not so innocent, I’m learning.”
She giggles, and it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve missed her laugh. Lying with her in bed like this reminds me so much of our innocence. When life seemed simpler, but I know it wasn’t.
I bring Charleigh in for another kiss, when a buzzing sounds comes from her nightstand, followed by another one, then another. Charleigh groans against me before reluctantly pulling away. She reaches for her phone and reads her text message.
Her mouth falls open on a gasp, and she shoots straight up. I sit up, worry settling in my gut.
“Fuck,” Charleigh mumbles. She brings her thumb to her mouth, nervously chewing on her nail. “No, no, no, no. This can’t be happening.”
“What’s wrong?”
She keeps her eyes on her phone, quickly typing out a response to whoever messaged her. “Selene’s at the shop and said our entire refrigeration system went out overnight and the backup energy supply didn’t kick in. Every single flower arrangement for a sweet sixteenth I have scheduled for pick up tomorrow is on the verge of being destroyed. It was over two hundred arrangements, Asher.” Charleigh’s sweet eyes fill with tears. Her chin wobbles. “Fuck, what am I going to do? I can’t afford another refrigerator, and if I don’t get them back in a controlled environment, we’ll lose them all. ”
I pull her attention away from her phone, hooking two fingers under her chin. “We’ll get it figured out. I’ll help.”
She nods as she tries to contain her panic. A tear slips from her eyes, and like a hammer to the chest, I see Charleigh’s passion for her business. Flowers are her life, and I know she isn’t just worried about disappointing her client. She’s sad because the flowers she sacrificed never fulfilled their purpose. They died for nothing.
“I don’t know how you’ll be able to help, but thank you,” she whispers, pulling me in for a kiss.
I kiss her back, wracking my brain with how to help. Ideas are floating through my mind when my phone rings from the pocket of my suit pants draped at the foot of the bed. I fish it out and read the name on the screen.
I look up at Charleigh. “My dad.”
“It’s okay.” She looks down before swinging her gaze back up to mine. I have a million thoughts and questions. There’s so much wedged between us. Charleigh’s flower shop. Her issue of firing me. Us sleeping together. Now my dad.
It’s all too much for the moment, and I can feel Charleigh sensing the weight of what it all means the same way I do.
“It’s okay. Take it.” She inhales a shaky breath, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I need to get to the shop before Selene has a mental breakdown.”
I want to kiss or even touch her again just to tell myself this is still real, but when Charleigh’s hand slips away from my cheek, I don’t get the chance. She’s already walking toward her closet.
Remembering my phone still ringing, I quickly answer it. “Hey, Dad.”
“Asher,” he says. His voice is weak, and I can tell he isn’t having a good day. “You never called me back. Did Janette give you my message? ”
“She did.” I push my hand through my hair, glancing over my shoulder at Charleigh. The door to the closet is left wide open. She’s now wearing a mini skirt and a black lace bra. “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you. Yesterday was a crazy, busy day. I was going to call you later, actually.”
I can’t take my eyes off Charleigh as she slips her feet into knee high boots, followed by tugging on a thin tank top. I only ever mentioned Charleigh to my father once after my mom passed and I went to live with him. After telling him I had a girlfriend I thought was better off without me, he never asked questions. Maybe it was because our relationship was new and he didn’t want to push me on the details. Or maybe it was because he understood and knew I just needed time to process. For a moment, I think about telling him I’m with her now, but I decide not to change the topic of conversation to me. He’s more important at the moment.
Once Charleigh is fully dressed and moves to the bathroom, I finally climb out of her bed and get dressed myself. I’d really like a shower, especially with Charleigh, but I know there’s no time. She needs to leave now.
“How has the city been treating you?” My father’s meek voice hits my ear again.
“It’s turning out to be not so bad.” I smile, watching Charleigh run a brush through her hair.
This. This is the life I envisioned with her all those years ago. I lost the dream throughout the years, and I’m not certain I have it now, but this glimpse into what it could be is pretty fucking incredible.
“Do you still plan on moving back to L.A anytime soon, or did you reconsider staying in New York after our last conversation?” He coughs into the phone, pausing a few seconds to catch his breath. A heavy wheeze follows before he speaks again. “I’m hoping the city swept you away like it did me. ”
I laugh, remembering my father’s story about the time he lived here before he met my mother. The city meant a lot to him back then. So much that he never had the heart to sell the apartment he purchased, even after he moved out to California. It also happens to be the one I moved into at the beginning of the year.
“I don’t know, Dad.” I sigh, wedging the phone between my cheek and shoulder as I button my shirt. “I feel like I need to be there with you.”
“No,” he says, sputtering out another cough. I step into my pants and tuck in my shirt while he rides out the rest of his coughing fit. His crackling breaths meet my ear before he continues. “I told you I wanted you to branch out. I don’t need you holding yourself back for me. You already have all the best doctors and nurses money can buy to take care of me. All I want is for my son to follow his dreams.”
“What have the doctors been telling you?”
Silence follows my question, swallowing it whole. My father’s heavy breaths drown out the sound of the shower. “They said I should be able to go home in a few days.”
I straighten my back, the news of his release hitting me. “That’s great. So, that means the treatment is working, then?”
He sighs. “No, son. Not exactly.”
“What do you mean?” I stop buckling my belt and, with a shaky hand, I hold the phone to my ear.
“We can talk about it later, Asher. Okay?”
“You don’t want me to come back when you’re released?” I ask him, panic in my voice. “I feel like I should be there when you come home.”
“No,” he says quickly. “I know you’re busy with clients and meetings. Your work is important. I just don’t want you to become a stranger. I know you’re an adult, but check in every once in a while, yeah? ”
I smile, but there’s no joy behind it. A dull ache swells in my chest and, shit, I hate it. “I will. I promise. Are you sure you’re going to be all right?” A feeling of dread and uneasiness works its way into my stomach.
“We’ll talk later, okay, Ash? I’ll be fine.”
“Okay. If you need anything, give me a call,” I say, finishing up the tie around my neck. “I promise I’ll be better about getting back to you.”
“Sounds good.” He sputters out another cough before he says goodbye, ending our phone call.
I’m digesting my father’s words when Charleigh meets me where I’m standing in her bedroom near the foot of her bed. She gives me a worried smile.
“Everything okay?” Her eyes move to my phone slipped into my pocket.
I wince, unsure of how to answer her because I don’t know what to make of that phone call. What did my father mean? I have half a mind to drop everything and call the airport to prepare my private jet for a flight out to L.A. But then I remember how my dad insisted I didn’t.
“I’m not sure.” I rake my hand through my hair, stress taking me over.
“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.” She traces her finger down the length of my face. “I should get going.” She stands on her toes and gives me a quick kiss. She’s half turning to leave when I grab her wrist, pulling her back to me.
“I just—” I stop, swallowing the dry air coating the roof of my mouth. Her body is pressed against mine. “I just wanted to make sure you stand firm on your decision.”
Her eyebrows knit together. “You mean, did I change my mind about firing you?”
Again, a weight presses into my body. I know what thoughts are running through Charleigh’s mind, but I can’t help it. I attempt to give her a reassuring smile, ignoring the ridiculous pit in my stomach. “Yeah.”
She gives me a teasing smile in return—one that wants me to drag her back to the bed and call out sick for the rest of the day, but I have meetings, and Charleigh needs to tend to her emergency.
She twists my tie around her hand, pulling me down to meet her. A heavy groan rumbles up my throat when my hands slide across her lower back. Her eyes sparkle in the early morning sun when she brushes her mouth above mine, not completely giving in to kissing me. “Consider me officially reconsidering.”