Chapter 18 #3
I don’t believe giving in completely to your feelings.
I’ve seen the devastation it can cause. No one can truly love someone else, not wholly.
But I see Holt’s truth in this moment. He meant it when he said he sees me.
He’s watched me for years, wanting this.
Slipping down this rabbit hole with him, I surrender, telling myself it’s only temporary.
I’ll feel this, then go back to pretending.
I lean down and press my lips to his jaw, then his neck.
Being this close and feeling him this way is freeing.
Terrifying and freeing. I know we’re crossing a line.
Being here, not in the view of the public, yet still in public, is the perfect metaphor for our situation.
I’m asking Holt to relieve whatever this is between us without a single person glancing in our direction.
The other guests in their booths across the way can’t see us. At least, I don’t believe they can. They’re too focused on the performance on stage, and we’re covered in shadows.
I rise up slightly as Holt grips onto his cock, guiding me over him. Then he slams me down.
My teeth sink into my lip, stifling my cries as he fills me. I wish this stupid fucking dress wasn’t between us. I need his hands on me. His mouth biting down on my peaked nipples that are aching to be touched. Still, though, this feeling consumes me.
I never once wanted to be touched by Adam but with one look, one whisper, I want Holt.
“Fuck, your pussy is so tight.” He groans against my neck. “God, Wallflower…”
I move subtly, rocking my hips just enough to move along Holt’s long, thick cock. It reaches deep inside me, and with every move it becomes more difficult not to cry out with pleasure. Difficult not to scream. Difficult not to want this to end but also not end at all.
“Holt… right there…” I whisper in his ear.
The orchestra plays another song, the chords and melodies striking louder and faster.
Closing my eyes, I sink into this feeling building inside me.
I’m wound tightly, like all the tension I’ve carried around me for years is on the verge of unraveling and spinning out of control.
Like one of those wind-up toy cars, each thrust brings on another onslaught of explosions.
Tiny bursts of electricity hum through my veins and across my skin.
I’m still dressed, but Holt makes it a point to drag his mouth across every exposed inch of skin.
My shoulders, the swell of my breasts, the base of my throat.
I comb my fingers through his hair before he’s urging me to look down at him.
His blue eyes shine in the shadows.
We simply stare into each other’s eyes as I move above him. He lifts his hips slightly, but he doesn’t need to do much. My jaw falls, and I’m gasping for air, lungs burning.
Holt’s sparkling eyes search my face as he reaches between us again and presses his fingers to my clit. A new surge of adrenaline courses through me.
“Unravel for me, Wallflower.”
With his other hand, he slams me down again before lifting his free hand to grip the side of my face and pulling me down to kiss him.
His lips are soft yet commanding. I melt into them, and within seconds, I’m coming undone.
I’m finally falling off the cliff, with Holt’s touch surrounding me.
His mouth is pressed to mine, and I slam myself back down, vibrating against him as I come undone.
My movements slow as I ride out my own orgasm, using our kiss to stifle my cries. He still has his hand pressed against my clit as I slide myself along his length several more times before he’s coming, too. His cock pulses inside me, intensifying the rest of my orgasm as his cum fills me.
“Oh, fuck.” He groans against my mouth, barely breaking our kiss. His body wracks beneath me, gripping onto me as his eyes squeeze shut.
His head tips back, resting it on the back of the velvet booth. Running my thumb along his jaw, I lean down and kiss his skin. It’s rough and grating against my mouth, but it pulls me back down to reality.
I push down the feelings Holt has stirred inside me. He’s awakened this part I’ve tried to hide from. Like flicking a lighter in a dark room. It’s a tiny flame but it’s unmistakable.
I’m coming down from my orgasm, staring at my hand pressed to Holt’s chest, when I get an overwhelming sensation that I’ve crossed a line that I can’t go back on.
I’ve taken the path of no return. I’ve given parts of my myself, showed pieces of me, I was never able to show to Adam. Shit, or anyone else for that matter.
The song being played by the orchestra abruptly ends, and the audience bursts into applause. My back is turned to the auditorium, but I don’t need to see them to know the show is over.
My hand is still cupping the side of Holt’s face when he lifts his head.
There’s a dazed look in his eyes, and he cracks a smile.
But I can’t bring myself to smile back, because I fear I’ve caught myself in a tangled web.
One I want to find a way out of yet surrender my fate to all at the same time.
“Don’t let that light die out, Wallflower.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, not moving me. His cock is still inside me, and I almost want to go again, but I know the lights are bound to turn back on any minute. We can’t risk being brought into the spotlight like this.
“I’m not,” I lie, denying his accusation.
He narrows his eyes at me.
I lean forward and press my mouth to the corner of his, then drag my nose across his cheek. “Appears you’ve caught me in another lie, Mr. Capuleti. Now, tell me, what are you going to do about it?”
I feel the growl rumble against my hand on his chest before he’s lifting me off him. I don’t even have time to clean myself up before he’s zipping his pants and wrapping my hand around his to take us home.