Chapter 25 Selene
TWENTY-FIVE
SELENE
I watched my best friend Charleigh fall in love. Then London, and I saw how that love pulled her back to West.
Despite seeing those closest to me find happiness, though, I never believed it for myself.
Until Holt. I guess that makes me, like the rest of them, a fool, too.
I read over my text chain in the girls’ chat, scrolling through their messages of encouragement for the day.
Charleigh: Good Luck! You’ve got this.
London: I have no doubt. You’re going to kill it!
Julianna: I can’t wait to watch this later. We love you both so much!
I grin, re-reading Julianna’s message again.
Her support means the world. Over the past six weeks, Holt and I have existed happily in our bubble together.
We may have kept our confessions of love to ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t taken the time to hang out with our friends together.
I just haven’t brought up the fact that we’re no longer playing pretend.
Our relationship is raw, real, and full of love.
“I can’t believe I agreed to do this,” I mutter, smoothing my hands over my blue and cream plaid mini skirt while sitting on the large, leather sofa in Holt’s office.
I’ve paired the skirt with a simple, navy-blue knit turtleneck and chunky ankle boots.
While I never took much stock in picking out my own outfits before now, Holt has pushed me to embrace my own style.
At first, after we confessed our love for one another, I handed his black charge card back to him.
I didn’t want to keep using his money for things that weren’t important.
But I don’t think I’ll ever forget the offensive expression he wore when the cold metal hit the palm of his hand.
He’d barely held onto it for longer than a minute before stuffing it back into my purse, telling me to use it whenever I felt I needed to.
Since then, I’ve only used it once: to buy this outfit.
I felt guilty for using his money. I’ve fought against the tiny nagging sensation in the back of my head, reminding me of what Adam accused me of when we broke up.
But this is different than when Julianna would lend me her clothes.
These are mine. I picked them out, and I own them, knowing I don’t need to give them back.
The best part is remembering how, after they’re washed, they’ll settle back into their home in the space Holt has carved out for me in his closet.
I relax into the sofa, keeping my hands resting on my wool skirt, and take a deep breath.
“Are you regretting saying yes?” Holt asks.
My stomach turns as I glance over the growing crowd in Holt’s office. Suddenly, I feel nauseous. Sick, even. Perhaps it was the sushi I had for lunch.
“No.” I swallow around the lump in my throat, swearing I can still taste a slight hint of the dragon roll I devoured.
“At least, I don’t think I do. But I may be second guessing my reasoning now.
I’m not entirely sure why I agreed to this.
You know I hate anything that makes me the center of attention. ” I give him a nervous chuckle.
“You agreed to this because you love me, Wallflower.” Holt leans in, half turning beside me, sliding his hand down my thigh before he grips my knee. He leans into me, burying his nose in the crook of my neck. “And I love you.”
My skin prickles from his mouth at the shell of my ear.
The lights, the cameras, Treena… everything fades into the background. The only thing I see is Holt sitting in front of me in a crisp, black suit. I grip the knot of his tie and pull his mouth to mine, kissing him deeply before I inch back to stare into his eyes.
“I love you, too.” I crack a smile. I can’t help it. I’ll never tire of hearing this, hearing him say he loves me, and me saying it back.
A glint flickers in his eyes. “After this interview is over, I fully intend on bending you over my desk, shoving that tantalizing little skirt over that delicious ass of yours, and fucking you senseless.”
I smirk, heat spreading across my entire body. “Why do you think I opted out of wearing tights with this outfit?”
“That’s my girl.” He growls, his eyes darkening. “I fucking love you, Wallflower.”
I can’t believe Holt and I are saying I love you.
I’m still terrified as fuck. I’m terrified I’ll wake up from this dream, or that one day Holt will just disappear.
It’s been weeks since we talked in my apartment, since I shared the history of my parents’ deaths and how it shaped my view on life and love.
Despite my convictions, Holt has challenged them every step of the way, making it impossible not to surrender to them.
I mean, how could I when he touches me like this or looks at me like that?
He pulls away just enough to stare into my eyes.
“You should have done this weeks ago, honestly,” Treena chimes in from across the room. She uncrosses her legs and rests her elbows on her knees. Her eyes shift to the cameraman standing several feet from us, who’s adjusting his tripod before setting his camera on top of it.
“It’s fine, Treena,” Holt mumbles, clearly annoyed with her comment. “I wasn’t going to agree to a public interview unless it was okay with Selene first. The important thing is we’re doing it now.”
“Right.” She presses her lips together and sighs through her nose, unable to look at us for long. “I just wish you’d agreed to have Vanessa here as well. Considering your court date with Rome Montgomery is approaching, you need to watch what you say. He could use this against you.”
“We aren’t going to say anything that will jeopardize my case. We aren’t here to talk about the case, anyway.” Holt clears his throat. “Besides, I still think there’s a possibility we’ll be able to settle this through mediation or in a settlement.”
Treena’s jaw drops. “A settlement?” She scoffs. “It’s admirable you think this can go away quietly.”
“Shouldn’t we hope for that?” I offer her a weak smile. “Isn’t that what we should all want?”
Treena’s cheeks blush as she gives me a weak, unconvincing smile in return.
Holt squeezes my knee, letting me know he believes we can.
At least his hope is as strong as mine. He doesn’t want this to go all the way to court.
Especially not now, knowing it was Julianna who wrote the anonymous article about him in Scribe.
We want this to go away with as little damage as possible, but the uncertainty of it all still leaves me on edge.
“The media has been clamoring for more of mine and Selene’s relationship,” Holt explains to Treena.
“This interview will give them a little more of what they’re already seeing, and we’re hoping it will deliver more of an impact than just those pictures and videos of us from afar. An interview is personal.”
“I agree.” Treena sighs, but I’m not totally convinced with her understanding.
She still looks apprehensive, though I guess you could say I feel the same.
I still hate being in the public eye, but I try telling myself this is different.
Holt is with me, and he loves me. Because of that, I have the strength to sit through an interview.
It helps that we’re agreeing to this interview because it’s through Holt’s magazine. The transcript will be published both in print and online, accompanied by a video.
Cory, one of Holt’s editors, enters the room and sits in the chair on the opposite end of the sofa Holt and I are sitting on.
I’ve run into him a few times over the past few weeks when visiting Holt’s office.
Cory is young and kind. I can tell Holt has a special relationship with him, compared to the others on his editing team.
Cory shoves his hair off his forehead and adjusts in his chair. The bright spotlight coming from the light behind the camera is nearly blinding. “Man.” He blows out a heavy breath while adjusting his necktie. “I don’t think I’ve done a formal interview like this since college.”
“You’re going to do great, man.” Holt drapes his arm over my shoulders, pulling me closer. “If you hadn’t agreed to stay on as part of my staff, I don’t know what I would have done. You’re the only one I trust.”
I offer Cory a closed-mouth smile of reassurance.
Holt told me about Cory’s affair with another staff member.
He’d given him an ultimatum, a choice, of whether to keep his affair going or stay on at Scribe.
He must have chosen to give up on his fling with Macy, but by the tan line on his bare ring finger, something tells me it didn’t come without a price.
“I appreciate that, Mr. Capuleti.” He nods and looks down at his phone, which is opened up to a list of interview questions. “Especially considering what happened before.”
Holt’s gaze shifts nervously to Treena before he’s lowering his chin and voice. “You haven’t received any more threats, have you?” Holt whispers.
“No,” Cory whispers back, trading glances between the two of us. “Thankfully, they’ve stopped ever since that day they left the photos.”
“Good.” Holt nods once, his jaw clenched. I can tell he’s nervous, and I get the sense he isn’t totally convinced they’ve let him and everyone else off the hook.
“We’re all set whenever you three are ready.” The cameraman gives a thumbs up before settling into his position behind the camera.
My nerves have completely taken over, and I can’t get the taste of that damn sushi out of my mouth.
“Okay.” Cory crosses one leg over the other, resting his ankle on his knee as he nods toward the cameraman. “Ready.”
The cameraman holds his hand up, counting down with his fingers until there are two remaining. Then he points at Cory to begin.