Chapter 28 Selene #2
“Does this mean our fake dating agreement is over?” I tease, scrunching my nose.
Holt abruptly stops dancing. His hand rests on my lower back while his other wraps around the side of my face. His thumb rests under my chin, keeping me looking up into his blue eyes. He makes sure I’m reading his thoughts loud and clear, leaving no room for any confusion.
“I thought I made that clear that night at your apartment. Our fake dating agreement was never real. You know that, right?”
I swallow the lump in my throat.
“I love you, Selene,” he says, with more conviction than I’ve ever heard him speak before. “I’ve been obsessed with you for years. I’m at your mercy, and yours alone. You’re the only one who has the ability to destroy me. You’re also the only one I will ever love. None of this was ever fake.”
Tears sting the backs of my eyes. I repeat Holt’s words in my head, knowing he means them, because this isn’t the first time I’ve heard them. Just when I think he’s going to change his mind or take back what he says, he proves me wrong.
But that still doesn’t take away the fear of what I need to tell him.
My lips part as I inhale a shaky breath.
Holt’s expression shifts. His brows pull together, and three creases form between his eyes. His mouth turns into a frown, and he pulls back slightly.
“You have something to tell me.”
His eyes drop to my mouth—a clear tell he knows I’m keeping a secret from him.
I must have done that fucking thing with my mouth again.
Shit.
I loosen my arms around Holt’s waist and roll back onto my heels, heat blooming in my cheeks. My cold feet press into the cold tile, and I close my eyes.
“Tell me, Wallflower.”
I’m dizzy, sick with fear. I picture my mother. My father. Then my grandmother. I cling to her memory and what she always used to tell me.
Nothing worthwhile doesn’t come without risk.
I open my eyes and find Holt still looking down at me with concern.
“I, um,” I whisper shakily. A tear slips from my eye, dripping down over my upper lip. “I’m pregnant.”
Two words.
Two words that change everything.
I hold my breath, waiting for Holt’s reaction.
His face pales, and his hand falls from my face. I miss his touch the second it’s gone. I didn’t realize how tightly I was clinging onto it, using it to keep my head above water.
“You’re pregnant?” He gasps, clamping his mouth shut. He swallows, then shifts his gaze over my shoulder, looking vacantly off in the distance.
“Yes,” I mutter, unable to bring my breath above a whisper.
I stare at his chest, focusing on the intricate detail of his black silk tie.
“I took a test earlier. I’ve been sick practically every day for the past several weeks and I couldn’t understand why.
At first, I thought it was this meal or that meal, but then it started to happen every time I went to eat.
Then I couldn’t hold the champagne down at the masquerade ball.
I took the test, and the pink plus sign was unmistakable.
I mean, you didn’t ask for this, so I understand if you don’t—"
My rambling is abruptly cut off by Holt’s mouth.
He steals my breath, crashing his lips to mine. He pours everything into our kiss, and I can’t help the sob that escapes the corners of my mouth.
He grips the back of my head and pulls away long enough to look into my eyes. “Whatever you were about to let spill from that pretty mouth, don’t.” He searches my face, clearly still letting the news of my pregnancy sinking in. “You’re pregnant?”
I gently nod.
“You’re going to have my baby?” His blue eyes widen as the hand he has wrapped around my back moves to my front. He gently runs the back of it over my stomach.
“I am.” My voice cracks. “And I’m sorry, Holt.”
“Why? I’m not.”
I blink. “We should have been more careful, and I don’t want you thinking…”
“Are you kidding me?” He beams, the smile he walked in with returns.
It reaches his eyes. “If there’s anything I wanted more than you in this life, it was to build a life with you.
That includes all of it: marriage, babies, old age.
Whatever you can give me, I’ll take. As long as it’s with you, I want it. ”
I let his words sink in. He’s happy. He isn’t running. He isn’t giving up.
He must read my thoughts because he falls to his knees in front of me. Tears stream down my cheeks as his hands slide across my hips. I reach down and run my fingers through his brown hair. Will our baby have his brown hair, or will they have my blonde? My mother’s, too?
My stomach flutters at the thought.
Tears coat his dark lashes as he lifts the bottom of my small cotton tank to reveal my stomach. He stares at my stomach in amazement. My throat swells, and it’s difficult to breathe. I’ve never had anyone look at me the way Holt does.
He presses his lips to my stomach. Then again. And again. His mouth is soft and gentle, lighting a fire inside me. A fire I’ve never felt with anyone else. Only Holt.
“If this baby is going to be anything like you, Wallflower, I’m already obsessed with them.” He plants another kiss to my stomach, then leans in to whisper against my skin. “I love you.”
“Holt,” I whisper, unable to hold back the tears.
He looks up at me as another tear slips from the corner of his eye. He’s all long lashes, sexy hair, and vulnerability. Completely at my mercy. “I love you both.”
“I love you, too.” I cup the side of his face and urge him to stand.
When he does, he hungrily takes my mouth with his. His hand slides down my back, slipping under my cotton shorts. He cups my ass cheek and squeezes the flesh, pulling me toward him.
“But I won’t lie,” I tell him. “I’m scared. What if… what if…”
There isn’t a single hint of fear or hesitation in his expression. “I know you’re scared, Selene, but I’m not your father, and you aren’t your mother.”
“What if something happens?” My voice breaks. “When it was just you and me, there was less to lose. But now?” I swallow back the tears and sniff. “With a baby… I would understand if you didn’t want this, Holt.”
My outspoken fears have wounded him, but I need him to know he has options.
“Listen to me, Selene.”
The way he’s cradling me pulls out another sob. I cry for all of him. The way he fights for me at every turn, even when I’m not fighting for myself. His love for me radiates, sinking into every fiber of my soul.
“The greatest loves don’t come without risk.
But if I had to choose between living life without you both, just to be sure I’d never feel the pain of loss, then I wouldn’t want it.
I don’t want it. I promised you I wasn’t going anywhere, Wallflower, and I’m not.
I’d travel to the ends of the Earth for you or sell my soul to the Devil before letting you go.
I have my sister and my father, but when I lost my mother, I felt my whole world shift from under my feet.
I never thought I would have a chance at a life with a family of my own making.
You’re that for me, Selene. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you, too. To the both of you.”
I’ve lived a life with a fractured heart, and no amount of reassurance Holt tries to give me will ever erase the nagging sensation that, at some point, this all might disappear. But as he said, the greatest loves don’t come without risk.
I drape my arms around his neck and roll back onto my toes, heat spreading between my thighs. Tilting my head to the side, I drag my nose along his, feeling every bit of the promise he’s given me. “Prove it to me then.”