Chapter 21
DECLAN
“You feeling good there, Murphy?” Coach says, watching me carefully as I take the ice. I’ve only been suspended for eight games, two weeks, but it may as well have been an entire year—ask any hockey player.
“Missed you too, Coach,” I say, tossing him my usual smile before skating into position. “It’s like I never left.”
Coach nods and smiles as he gets back to his clipboard. Lindgren gets on the ice skating past me, smacking my stick with his own as he starts warm-ups. Nikolai Petrov grunts in my direction before getting in the crease.
It’s good to be back.
“Good to have you back, Dec,” Lucas says, skating closer. “It just wasn’t the same without you. At least you got a mini-honeymoon with your wife. I definitely didn’t have that,” he says, bumping his shoulder into mine.
“You couldn’t even find your wife that first week after you got married.” I chuckle, remembering the way Lucas almost cost us the playoffs because he decided to get married in Vegas and then Hannah ran away the next morning.
Lucas shakes his head, shoving me. “Keep it clean, yeah?” he says, looking over to where the PTO, Axel Boqvist, is warming up with Mitch, our Captain and my d-partner.
I may or may not have done some digging on the guy, and his game is solid. He’s been playing with the SHL for the past five years and went to the Olympics last year.
He tugs on his gloves, leaning in while gesturing across the ice before Mitch laughs at some joke he obviously just told.
I jerk my head in their direction. “Has he been sucking up to everyone?” I ask Lucas, wondering how hard he’s been gunning for my position.
If he’s from the SHL, he’ll obviously want this spot.
More competitive, more exposure…just better all around.
Not to mention that Avah is here in New York.
If he was a smart guy, he’d do everything in his power to get her back.
But he messed it up in the first place, so he’s either an idiot or he didn’t love her.
He must be an idiot.
“I don’t know if I’d call it sucking up,” Lucas says with a laugh, “but he’s had no issues fitting in. The guys in the locker room seem to like him just fine. You should see him on the ice with EJ... Having a winger and a defenseman in sync like that, it gives us an edge.”
His words curdle in my stomach. I know there’s room on any NHL team for more than two defensemen.
Realistically it would mean a lot for the Rangers to have me and this guy…
especially if he’s as good as Lucas says.
The deeper the bench, the better for the team.
But right now I’m not a big enough man to get over the fact that I want to punch him in the face.
We skate around the rink before EJ joins in next to us, both of us look at Axel as we skate past him.
“So that’s the guy who broke your sister’s heart?” I ask, taking a good look at Axel’s eye as we skate right by him. It’s no longer bruised enough in my opinion. “You should’ve hit him harder.”
“No argument there,” EJ says with an edge of surprise in his voice. “She told you what happened?”
I nod. “She did. The guy’s a moron if you ask me.”
EJ hums in agreement, his eyes burning a hole in the side of my head.
“What?” I ask.
He shakes his head as we go for another round around the rink. “Nothing, just didn’t think you two were that close,” he says. “Avah doesn’t really talk about what happened, that’s all.”
Unable to help it, a small smile tugs at my lips.
The relationship that’s formed between me and Avah has surprised me, to say the least. I didn’t think we’d get along this well…
we certainly haven’t before. But this past week we were in our own world, leaning on each other, and it felt good.
I never knew honesty and partnership would result in something like this.
Last night when she fell asleep in my arms may have been the best feeling in the world.
Seeing her hand clutching my shirt, her breathing even out as she snuggled against me struck closer to my heart than I’d care to admit.
Instead of waking her to go to our separate rooms, I switched off the TV, placed a kiss in her hair and leaned back to close my eyes too.
“Hasn’t been easy with him here,” EJ says, pulling me back to reality. “Also hasn’t been the hardest thing in the world.”
I shrug, hating that I get it. “You grew up together. You know each other’s rhythm.”
“True,” he says, nodding. “He also broke my trust and betrayed my sister. This year hasn’t been the easiest for Avah. Watching her having to go through that…” he trails off as we come to a stop on the ice.
His words strike a cord in my chest. I didn’t know what Avah was going through when she first got here.
Thinking back, she never struck me as a woman who got deeply hurt.
She carried herself with the same grace and fire she does now.
The only difference was back then she aimed her fire at me, and I gladly met her in each and every fight.
Would I have acted differently had I known she was seeing her cheating ex every time she looked at me? I’d like to think I would have.
He looks at me, eyes narrowing. “Look, I don’t mean to make this weird but as far as I know, the two of you got hitched so she wouldn’t have to go back home and face Axel. And now he’s here…” EJ trails off, leaving the words that have been bothering me this whole week hanging in the air between us.
I nod. Now that the guy is here, Avah has no reason to stick to her part of the agreement. Her reasons are basically null and void. If he actually manages to outplay me, and Harry decides to trade me after all…then my reasons for stepping into this marriage also disappears.
My eyes find Harry where he’s sitting in the viewing gallery watching like a hawk.
“Why hasn’t he sent him packing yet?” I ask EJ. “Is he that good?” I hate the slight worry creeping into my voice, because I know what I saw when I watched his game.
EJ follows my gaze to where Harry is now watching Axel go through warm-ups. “He’s solid, Dec.”
I swallow a curse, hoping I can still show Harry, Coach, and the rest of my team that I’m more of an asset than the new guy. If I keep my position…I also keep Avah. Because then this guy would have to crawl back into the hole he came from.
I might not be the best candidate for husband of the year, or even boyfriend of the year, but losing Avah is not something I want. I know that much.
But if Harry decides to offer Axel Boqvist a contract…
I’ll not only lose my position, but my wife.
The whistle blows. “Alright ladies, let’s get going! D-pairs. Three on two,” Coach calls. “Boqvist, you’re with Kade for now. Murphy you’re back with Mitch.”
I skate into position, taking my place next to Mitch to get started on our drills. This is his last year with the Rangers, and then Lucas will probably wear the ‘C’.
“Tell me you missed my pretty face,” I say, patting him on the helmet.
“You know I did, Murphy,” he says with a grin. “It’s been a bit dull without you.”
I watch as Axel slides into rotation across from us.
Seeing him in the Rangers colors stokes the fire inside of me.
I’ve always welcomed a challenge, but this feels different.
Because of what he did to Avah, the challenge feels personal on a deeper level.
The fact that he’s here in New York, trying out for the Rangers, just shows that he’s after more than just a spot on the team.
Anger simmers beneath the surface, my fists balling inside my gloves. EJ should’ve hit him harder. He still has all his teeth.
Axel catches my eye and smirks. The kind of smirk that tells me he knows who I am, he reads the headlines.
Avah’s words echo in my mind: ‘You can’t touch him, Declan. He’s not worth it.’
As much as I want to skate over and knock him to the ice, I can’t. She’s right. I’m not going to risk my place on this team or my relationship with Avah for that idiot.
The whistle blows and we’re moving.
The forwards push into the zone, three on two.
I pivot, skating backward, shoulders squared and my stick low and steady on the ice.
I track the puck, forcing Lindgren wide before cutting off his lane.
He tries to dump the puck in, but I get a piece of it and send it the other way.
Mitch scoops it up, fires it to Lucas and we’re done.
Coach’s whistle cuts through the air. “Next rush!”
Another line comes at us. Same drill. Same rhythm. My legs burn, my lungs are on fire, but it feels good to be on the ice with my team again. This is where I belong and it just cements the fact that I can’t go risking my position for the sake of going after Boqvist.
Mitch taps his stick to mine, a wordless ‘good job’ before we fall back again.
“Next D-pair!” Coach yells after a few more reps.
Axel and Kade jump in. I start coasting off, watching him as he skates closer to take my spot on the ice. Our paths cross at the blue line, his gaze pinned to mine. The thought of crashing into him and slamming him into the boards runs through my mind. Our shoulders clip…not by accident.
He smirks. “Good to have you back, Murphy.”
“Like you care,” I say, watching him over my shoulder.
He pivots, skating backwards. “Just like to know who I’m taking the spot from,” he says before getting into position in front of Petrov.
My jaw tightens, my fists clench. Avah’s words echo in my mind: ‘He’s not worth it.’
We got through different sets of drills, the tension on the ice palpable. After an hour and a water break, the team splits into two squads.
“White vs Blue,” Coach calls. “And you better level up. Tonight we play the Devils and there will be no losing.”
I’m lined up with Mitch again. Across the red line, Axel is paired with Kade, set up in front of the back-up goalie.