Chapter Forty-Three
CHAPTER
FORTY - THREE
Felicity woke up the following morning with a weight on her heart. She was a little bit hungover, she knew that, but it wasn’t too much wine that was making her feel so gloomy.
The previous evening at Violet’s flat had become quite jolly, but what now made her feel she didn’t want to get out of bed was her promise to try and find the bit of riverbank where she and Oliver had been that dreadful morning.
She knew how important this was for Henry, and she really wanted to help, but supposing she couldn’t find the metal door in the busy street that led to what had been heaven for Oliver? Even if she could, Henry and Violet probably wouldn’t be able to get through it because they didn’t have the key Oliver had borrowed. Still, she’d have to do her best.
Her mother was in a good mood when Felicity joined her at the breakfast table. It was evident because she was smiling and wearing a new peignoir over her nightdress. Felicity was wearing a pale blue dressing gown over the Viyella pyjamas she had had for years.
Felicity kissed her cheek and sat down. ‘I do hope you enjoyed your evening, Mummy.’
‘I did, thank you very much, and while I did have to apologise for your absence, dinner at the restaurant was easier without you.’ She gave a gentle, patronising laugh. ‘I’m afraid Hector thinks you’re a very naughty girl – and not like that,’ she added hurriedly.
Although she was feeling so gloomy, this almost made Felicity laugh. ‘To be honest, I think my behaviour could have been impeccable at all times and Hector still wouldn’t have liked me. But he likes you, and that’s what’s important.’ Even as she spoke she realised how difficult life could become if her mother and Hector became a permanent fixture.
‘You’re probably right. He is quite stern and commanding, but with me he’s a pussy cat.’
Her mother looked a little bit like a cat herself just then, Felicity thought.
‘And I quite like a bit of sternness in a man,’ Lucinda went on.
‘I hope you don’t mind that Violet and I finished up the canapés.’
‘I thought Violet and that rather gorgeous man were going to take you out for dinner?’
‘We’re going tonight. Violet suddenly felt tired, so we decided to postpone it.’ Felicity remembered how, while Violet had said she couldn’t be bothered to go out to dinner, she had brightened up after the discovery of the tile. Who would have thought that something so insignificant could make Violet and Henry so excited?
‘That’s good. Hector and I are having a quick supper before he has to catch the sleeper back to Scotland.’ Lucinda examined her daughter. ‘Might you stay out quite late? And when are you going?’
Although it was a thought that made her shudder, Felicity understood what her mother was saying. ‘We’ll go out at about seven and won’t be back before ten. I must say, Mummy, it’s unusual for a mother to encourage her daughter to stay out late.’
‘But I’m not a usual sort of mother, am I?’ Lucinda said this with pride and a secretive smile.
Felicity returned the smile but privately wished her mother was a bit more normal.
The following morning was Saturday, and Violet was planning to knock on Felicity’s door at five to nine, after which they would wait for Henry to pick them up. Felicity didn’t think she’d need a lot of time to get dressed before realising that she couldn’t wear her jeans.
She had been so pleased to have them back but when she tried to put them on before meeting Violet, she felt all the anxiety and terror come back from the last time she had worn them. She really hoped she would be able to find the exact place where she and Oliver had been that day quickly. It was not a time she wanted to relive for a second longer than she had to.
‘I really have no confidence that I’ll be able to find it,’ she said to Violet before she had even said hello.
‘I think if you can get the distance roughly right, it will be a huge help. Henry has ideas where the palace might have been. If we can just get physical proof, his whole book will make sense. Then he’ll be better qualified to apply for his lectureship.’
Partly to distract herself from her anxiety, Felicity asked, ‘Do you want him to get it?’
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘of course I do.’
‘Why particularly?’
Violet sighed and didn’t answer for so long Felicity wondered if she’d heard the question. ‘Of course I want him to be happy.’
‘But?’
‘No buts, really. I would just so like to go and live in Oxford with him. Maybe study myself? I couldn’t get into the university, I realise that – my A levels weren’t good enough – but I’d get him to borrow books from the library for me. I’d do it on my own, just for interest, really.’
‘You don’t have to live with Henry to do that.’
‘It would be a lot harder because I couldn’t get him to borrow books for me.’ Violet frowned. ‘It would look odd me following him there if we weren’t together.’
Felicity considered. ‘I suppose it would. What is that piece from Shakespeare that David made me learn, years ago? “Make me a willow cabin at your gate?” Something like that?’
Violet nodded. ‘That’s what I mean. Although there are other universities, I’m probably not qualified to go to any of them. And I’m definitely too old. Anyway! Here’s Henry!’
‘Sit in the front with me, Felicity,’ said Henry, opening the door. ‘Then you’ll get the same view of the streets that you had before.’
‘We met at five in the morning. It was pitch dark,’ said Felicity.
‘Feel free to ask for a blindfold at any time, if you want to make the experience more realistic.’ Henry smiled, reassuring Felicity that he was joking.
They drove in silence towards Tower Bridge.
‘Can you remember how long it was, in time, before you stopped?’ asked Henry.
‘I’m not sure,’ said Felicity. To her it could have been a few minutes or days: she just did not remember.
‘Did you get as far as the Tower of London?’ asked Violet. ‘Do you remember seeing it?’
‘I think so,’ said Felicity, with no confidence whatsoever.
‘Did you go much further than the Tower?’ It was Henry this time, giving her a reassuring smile. ‘Should I stop?’
‘Perhaps …’
‘Or is it a lot further?’
Felicity wanted to weep with frustration at her lack of memory of that drive. Everything that had happened afterwards seemed to have wiped out the whole morning’s events. It was as if the mud had spread into her brain, concealing everything.
‘I really don’t know!’ There was a crack in her voice.
‘I don’t think we’re going to be able to do this,’ said Violet to Henry. ‘Why don’t we go back and have a huge breakfast?’
‘Good idea!’ said Henry at once. Violet could tell he was disappointed but determined not to let Felicity see. ‘We can go to my favourite café.’
‘Is it a “greasy spoon”?’ asked Felicity, pleased with herself for remembering the idiom and light-hearted with relief that she didn’t have to repeat the terrors of that cold dark morning and the approaching tide. ‘And are second breakfasts allowed?’
Henry laughed. ‘Of course! Have as many breakfasts as you like!’
A little while later, Henry delivered both women back to their front door.
‘I feel a bit sick,’ said Felicity. ‘I ate so much. I might have to lie down.’
‘Me too,’ said Violet. ‘Luckily, I haven’t much planned to do today apart from my washing.’
‘I must do that as well,’ said Felicity. ‘Mummy doesn’t like the bathroom to be full of tights hanging up, so drying things is always a bit of a problem.’
‘If you dry them on a towel, they shouldn’t take long,’ said Violet.
Henry cleared his throat. ‘I won’t be washing my tights today,’ he said.
Felicity and Violet laughed politely.
‘Thank you so much for breakfast,’ said Felicity, ‘and I’m sorry I was so useless.’
‘Not useless at all,’ said Henry. ‘You found the tile, which is incredibly useful.’
Felicity shrugged. ‘I’ll go in, then. Thank you both so much for being so understanding.’
After she was in the house, Henry said, ‘I’m going to go back to the shop to work on my book.’
‘Do you need me to help you?’
‘Don’t you need to do your washing?’
‘Do you want my help?’ Violet said, wondering how long they could answer each other’s questions with more questions.
‘I could do with it. This is like a puzzle. The more heads working on it, the better.’
Violet laughed, feeling ridiculously light-hearted suddenly. ‘If it’s a puzzle, you want Miss Wynter.’
‘Only as a very, very last resort.’ He took her arm. ‘I’ll leave the car here, I think, and come back for it.’
She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it because she wanted it to be true, but she felt he was holding her close to him. Not for the first time since she’d left the bookshop she wished she could restore their relationship to how it had been before the glamorous Dr Saunders had appeared in her basement.