EIGHT
“What’s so funny?”
Mom asked as I walked into the kitchen. I loved the smell of coffee in the morning. It was always my favorite part of the morning.
“I love coffee. It makes me happy,”
I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled.
After some weird dreams last night, I felt ready to figure myself out. I have moments of wanting to know all the answers—Why the cheating? Lying? Why didn’t I notice? I’m sure there were signs? Did I even care? Am I a monster for not really caring? Am I broken because I don’t feel broken? Should I be crying? I don’t want to cry. I hate crying. I cried enough for a lifetime when dad died. Do I date? Do I want to date? I want sex. Do I need to date to have sex? There’s apps for all the stuff. Lena talked about them all the time. I just spent the last two years living my life with blinders on. I was blinded by blinders. I hadn’t realized I even elected to wearing them. I’m definitely not in a rush for anything serious.I am a very capable woman. I am self aware. I can do hard things. I can do hard things!
Our lazy morning was exactly what I needed. The day drifted into a warm evening with the two of us headed to Neptune Oyster, a cozy spot in the North End. I always came here when I was home—it’s my favorite. The restaurant was small, intimate, and always buzzed with life—perfect for a family dinner. We stepped inside, the smell of fresh seafood hitting us immediately. Mom’s eyes light up as she spotted Amelia seated at a corner table, flipping through the menu.
Amelia waved, her smile brightening the room. She was still in her scrubs, which wasn’t unusual for her. Being a nurse meant she was always just getting off a shift or heading into one. A few weeks ago, at the Gala, was the first time I’d witnessed her dressed in anything beyond scrubs in a solid six months! They were basically her uniform. She was an ER nurse, so we got it.
“Hey, beautiful. Is this seat taken?”
I asked, giving her a hug as we settle in. Mom did the same, squeezing Amelia’s shoulder affectionately before sitting down.
“You’re lucky we got a table,”
Amelia said, glancing around at the packed restaurant. “I had to bribe the hostess with promises of hospital gossip. She used to work with the orthopedic team at the hospital, but just went back to school. She told me this job pays pretty well and is a million times less stressful. It’d be hard to work in a busy unit while going to school. Too much stress! That’s why I love travel nursing. When I am tired of a place, I just move on. Always new. If I hate it—I leave!”
Mom laughed, shaking her head. “You have too much energy.”
As we looked over the menu, I loved the three of us being together. We are only missing our final piece, Lena. Mom reminded me several times in just twenty four hours that Lena promised a weekend soon. She is not beyond showing up at Lena’s door to put a date in her calendar. This is the family dynamic—Mom, always the warm and steady presence; Amelia, the firecracker with endless energy and stories; and me, somewhere in between, trying to keep up, absorbing it all. Lena symbiotically completed our girl gang with her free spirited ways. She was the constant sunshine in this little storm of ours.
“So, how’s life at the hospital?”
I asked, knowing that Amelia’s stories are always entertaining, and usually gross. Hopefully she didn’t share any of the yucky ones at dinner. No thank you!
Amelia grinned, leaning back in her chair. “Oh, you wouldn’t believe the week I’ve had. First, there was this guy who came in with a… let’s just say, a very unusual injury. I swear, people think they’re invincible until they end up in the ER.”
Mom looked intrigued. “How unusual are we talking?”
“Let’s just say he had an unfortunate run-in with a lawnmower,”
Amelia replied, lowering her voice as she leaned in conspiratorially. “But that’s not even the best part. The guy’s more concerned about his lawn than his leg! Kept asking if his wife finished mowing. It for sure was the shock, but he just kept asking. He wanted her to show him pictures. They were both at the hospital and nobody was mowing to the lawn!”
We all bursted out laughing, picturing the absurdity of the situation. It’s typical Amelia—able to find humor even in the most bizarre circumstances.
As we ordered, Amelia continued with her stories. “And then there was this lady who swore she’d been abducted by aliens. Totally convinced that’s why she was feeling ‘off.’ Turns out, she just had low blood sugar. But she insisted we check for anal probes and any UFOs reports in the news. She told us she didn’t have the internet, but she sure did watch cable. And you both would never believe how many times people come in because they tripped and something somehow got stuck, in their butts. I can’t even make this shit up. I have had five different people with similar issues this week. That is just counting the actual patients I am personally treating, not the ones who come in and see other nurses. We compare notes! This world is really way too fascinated with sticking things up their asses. We started keeping a tally on a white board behind the nurses station. We didn’t label it or anything, just in case sensitive eyes found their way to it, but we all know what it’s tracking. One nurse was keeping a bucket full of all the objects. Sanitized—promise! I feel like at any second someone is going to jump out and say we are on a reality TV show or something. Not yet, I’ll wait!”
I shook my head, trying to contain my laughter. “How do you even deal with that?”
Amelia shrugged, grinning. “You just smile, nod, and make sure they get the help they need. We absolutely make jokes about it—sometimes discreetly, but usually not. If you come into the ER with something stuck in your ass and think we are going believe your dumbass story, spoiler alert, we aren’t.”
Mom chuckled, we’re probably too crass for her, but she goes along with it. “You’ve always had a way of seeing the humor in things, even when they’re tough. All of you are so resilient. I will happily take credit for some of that,”
she added cheekily.
Amelia gave her a loving smile. “Humor keeps you grounded. Plus, it makes for great dinner conversation, right?”
As our food arrived—clam chowder, oysters, and their famous lobster rolls—everyone should have their lobster rolls! We dug in, enjoying both the meal and the company. The conversation shifted from hospital stories to memories from our childhood to updates on what’s happening in our lives now.
Through it all, I felt a deep sense of connection. Amelia’s energy was contagious, and Mom’s calm presence was the perfect counterbalance. We are scattered across different cities, living different lives, but when we come together, no time has passed at all.
As we finished our meal, Amelia leaned back, looking content. “We should do this more often.”
Mom immediately agreed, “We really should. Family dinners are fun.”
I reached across the table, squeezing both of their hands. “Agreed. Let’s make it a regular thing. Let’s put some dates in our calendars, so we have it to look forward to.”
As we finished up the last bites of our dinner, Amelia looked at me with a curious expression. “Are you planning to visit tante et oncle while you’re in Paris?”
A mix of excitement bubbled in my belly, Definitely. I can’t go to Paris without seeing them all.”
Mom smiled longingly, “They’ll be happy to see you. Vivienne’s always asking about you, wants to know all about New York.”
“Yeah, She texted other day,”
I said. “She’s been busy with some new project—she asked me about a place in Paris that I love. She emailed me Mathieu’s photography portfolio and it’s amazing.”
Amelia grinned. “Oh, I bet. Mathieu was always weird in a great way. Camille texted me that she started her first real job. That’s always exciting.”
“Yes and in fashion—I love it,”
I replied. “She’s designing for a small boutique in Le Marais, so fancy. They’re so talented. I can’t wait to catch up with them—It’s been two years. I don’t think we’ve ever gone this long without seeing each other.”
Mom agreed, “Time passes too quickly, doesn’t it? I remember when Jacques and Vivienne first moved into that house. You girls were just little, and loved staying there.”
Amelia laughed, her eyes sparkling with the memory. “Yeah, we had the best times staying there.”
I chuckled, recalling the chaos we caused over the years. “It will be fun.”
Mom’s eyes glossed with tears she refused to release. I know she missed her family, even more without Dad. “I’m glad you’re making time for them, Charlie. Family is important, especially when you’re so far from home most of the time.”
Amelia admitted. “You know, I’m a little envious. I’d love to get back to Paris or France soon—maybe next year, if I can swing it. You’ll have to give everyone a big hug from me.”
“Will do,”
I promised. “And we should plan a trip together. It’d be fun to go back as a family, like we used to. We should spend part of next summer there, like old times. Plus, I have a enough points for us all to travel for free. They need to be used. Yes is the right answer. Yes is the only answer.”
Mom’s eyes lit up at the idea. “That’d be wonderful. We haven’t had a big family trip in years. Lena, too. Remember, the only summer she didn’t go to France with us and it was because she was obsessed with the new boy who moved across the street. I can imagine what her summer looked like, but she was eighteen. I would never say no to a summer in Europe, but I’m not Lena.”
I rolled my eyes as this, “Lena will want to come, too.”
Amelia was excited, “Count me in. But for now, you’ll have to enjoy it for all of us, Send lots of pics—especially of food.”
“Weirdo—kidding! You know I will.”
We finished our meal and headed out. Amelia went back to the hospital to sleep for a few hours before another shift. Normal procedure for her.
Mom and I headed straight back to the house. I was ready for pajamas and bed. My social butterfly needed her rest.
This weekend back home reminded me how easy it is to just enjoy life. I needed more of this. Conversations. Great food. Laughter.
I was determined to chase those things in life. I wanted to chase and seek all the things that fueled my happiness. I trusted that anything that fit into that paradigm had a place in my life. I wanted that for myself.