Chapter 5 Winter
~Winter~
There was no more cold.
No more discomfort.
No more pain.
I was warm.
Soothed.
Content.
In fact, that usual death-cold was nowhere to be found.
The sensation coursing through me was similar to when I fed from others, when their blood sang through me and made me feel alive.
This, though, it wasn’t as brief.
It was a constant.
And much more intense.
It hadn’t abated since I’d asked him to take away the nastiness of the shadowed nothingness that Temperance had created as a means to trap me forever.
To pull me from the world, from everything I knew, and shackle me in unending stasis.
When I’d done nothing to them or the world.
When I’d gone to every effort to downplay what I was.
When I’d tried so hard not to present myself as a threat.
When I’d been kind, understanding, and peaceable.
When I’d even denied the higher level of my necromantic side to appease them.
It wasn’t enough for them.
And Ruxnoth was right—it never would be.
The fact that this creation existed was proof enough of that.
Outside of my family and my loves, there was no place for me.
The world didn’t want me.
“Winter.”
I blinked through my reverie at the sound of that voice—rumbling yet reassuring.
Comforting.
I looked out to see Ruxnoth standing before me.
He had been the entire time.
I knew that.
On some level I knew that.
It was me who hadn’t been fully here.
The sensations were so immersive, it was hard to remain cognizant.
No. More than that. It was hard to want to remain cognizant.
I just desired to sink into it, soak it up, every rare moment of it.
It had been constant so far, but it couldn’t last.
He’d said it wasn’t time for that yet.
That I wasn’t ready for it to be, as much as he wished it could already be otherwise.
“Are you still with me, miraculous boy?” his voice reached me again, as I managed to peer out at him more clearly, making out his towering muscular form, those glimmering blue fissures all over his exposed chest and face with his glamor still down.
He was gazing at me intently.
I was bound before him still, my boots rooted to the slimy magical substance that was tethering the white bands crisscrossing all over my body—except my head and face—and holding me in place, while also preventing me from being able to call my magic.
“Yeah,” I murmured. “Still listening… you said… a battery, right? That’s what you want from me… to be that?”
“That’s a rather demeaning way of putting it, and not something I will accept you terming yourself.”
I frowned. “You said you need my help to charge your… metaphysical construct.”
“You may refer to it as Sanctus. And, yes, I require your assistance. However, that is very far from being the only reason I have sought you out.”
“Sanctus?” I mused.
“Correct,” he said, moving up close again and stroking my hair, my eyes fluttering closed for a moment as he imbued me with additional heat.
He smiled and told me earnestly, “I wish you not to merely function as an everlasting power source, but as a partner. As somebody who can finally find belonging in a realm of existence I have created precisely for those like us. Those of great power whose usage and abilities are considered heresy. Those who the world not only doesn’t understand, but also fears.
And means to harm and incapacitate. For you and I, they even wish to eradicate us, Winter.
In Sanctus, things do not operate that way.
We are free and even encouraged to be what we are, to reach the full potential of that. ”
He pressed his bare chest to mine and had me groaning as the skin-to-skin contact infused me with so much more… life. That warmth—whatever magic he was using to achieve it—that was how it felt. Bone deep. “How does that sound to you?” he rumbled at my ear, before then stepping back.
“I’m… not sure,” I murmured, awash in the tranquility haze.
With a spark of his magic, he was clad in his ornate gold coat again. He gestured with regret at me bound before him. “Know that it vexes me that I cannot remove you from Nihilumbra itself, Winter, only relieve the effects. Unfortunately, I must take precautions.”
My glazed eyes met his. “It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
“I’m relieved to hear it.”
“Actually, it feels amazing.”
“It does, hmm?”
“Yeah. Vibrant. Sparkling. Warm.”
“That’s what I intended to gift you.”
“You did?”
“Indeed. To show you, to have you feel and experience it, so you could understand how things could actually be for you.”
“All the time?”
“Of course. I wield the power and the means to provide you this eternally. In fact, I spent many years specifically developing this gift for you.”
“Why?”
His eyes shone at me. “You truly have no idea how extraordinary you are, do you?”
“I… don’t know,” I mumbled, wanting to stay deep and sink into the incredible feeling all the way.
“With me, you will. In Sanctus, you will.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t?” he queried.
I thought I noticed a harsher tone. But I wasn’t sure. Not right now with how distracted I was.
“My family, my loves,” I managed to sort of explain.
“I see. You don’t wish to leave them.” He reached out and stroked my arm. “That’s because you believe you have a choice.”
I jolted in the binds. “What do you—”
He pressed the fingers of his free hand to my lips. “Shh. I didn’t mean I would force you, or take any choice away from you.”
I started to calm.
He explained, “They will. The supernatural world. The populace. Those in governance. They will make it so. You will not be able to remain.” He removed his fingers from my lips while still stroking my arm soothingly, then gesturing at the binds.
“Unless you are confined in this for all of time. And how would your family react to that?”
“They wouldn’t allow it.”
“Precisely. That would mean war raging unchecked. I told you earlier that Sylas Morgrave won’t survive your rise.
This is what I meant. To overcome the forces amassed against you in order to remain on this plane without this imprisonment befalling you, you would have to rise beyond it, beyond those who intend to do you harm, who cannot stand your very existence.
In doing so, they would react fiercely. Sylas would respond with appropriate force to bolster you.
A necromancer of his caliber, especially when he carries Morien’s legacy, taking any high-level action of that magnitude, would be destroyed—the public’s current trust in him that he’s spent years earning would shatter.
The higher echelons of the supernatural world would mobilize against him.
You remaining on this plane is not only unsustainable because of public sentiment toward what you are, but it will bring about the downfall of Sylas, the rest of your family by extension, and even those three you have made the worrying decision to attach yourself to. ”
“No,” I ground out, trying to push away the emotion his words had sent surging.
His hand left my arm and came up to stroke my cheek.
“You’ve seen this yourself, yes? You’ve considered this?
Is it not why you’re so incredibly careful?
You are unquestionably gentle by nature, but the way you carry yourself among others, your refusal to engage in deeper mentoring with your Necromancy goes beyond that nature. It is about this very fear, yes?”
I swallowed hard and averted my eyes.
He made that impossible then as he grasped my face with both hands, then drew so close again, until all I could see was him.
“You were right to fear it. This will come to pass. If you remain here. With me, when the time is right, they’ll all be safe.
You’ll be safe, appreciated and understood.
You’ll also be able to feel alive in the way I’ve allowed you to experience now. ”
“When the time is right?”
“You need to allow Sylas to mentor you, further your necromantic abilities, grow your power.”
“To help Sanctus?”
“In part. Your Necromancy needs to be up to par, so you do not experience distress when you bond with the construct.” He tightened his hold on me, and I blinked, finding it hard to focus for more than a few seconds—except when he touched me or exerted pressure, it seemed.
“However, you also must do so to protect yourself until you are ready to forsake this plane, until you have said your farewells appropriately to those you love.”
Off my look, the uncertainty I was feeling, he shook his head, assuring me, “No. I never intended to take you there against your will, or make you do anything not of your own volition. It will be your choice. You will most certainly have the chance to say your goodbyes. Despite what may be spoken about me because I don’t wield my power as others deem acceptable, I am very far from being a monster.
” He smiled and stroked my skin with the pad of his thumb, infusing me with more heat.
“And do not fret, you will be loved and adored in Sanctus. That is my vow to you. You’ll experience comfort, adoration, acceptance, and deep belonging.
Eternally, Winter. There is a world that wants you, and that is mine. ”
I frowned, trying to intake everything, and only managing it in bits and pieces. “What people say about you? I remember… Ketheron and Ambrose… they knew of you.”