Chapter 11 Zayn #4
“They’re not expecting the world from you. It’s not like that. You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself.”
“I’m not. That’s the problem. I haven’t been all this time. Because I was so terrified of becoming like Morien I pushed all the Necromancy away. Now look at the state of things.”
“Fuck me,” I uttered aloud accidentally.
Off his narrowed-eyed reaction, I held up my hand.
“Listen, just… forget the Sylas of it all regarding the feeding. What about telling Evira and Vax? Evira is super supportive and she gets it from an animal standpoint with the primal aspect of her dragon nature. And Vax is the same but also with access to a shit-ton of knowledge and resources, which might be able to help you with this issue.”
“It’s fine. I told you, I won’t feed. Consider the matter dealt with.”
“Win—”
He forced a smile and gestured at the dessert station. “Are these truffles? Wow, blackcurrant ones?”
I sighed heavily, considering pushing things, not letting him drop it, but before I could even do a thing, a musical rap sounded on the back door.
“Come on in,” I called out.
In the next second, Vax stepped through with his arm around Evira.
I choked at the sight of them.
Vax was actually dressed down in a pair of black jeans. He had a black leather vest on with those hot-as-fuck biceps on display in all their sinful glory. He smirked at me. Yeah, he’d definitely planned this alongside Win.
And Evira was wearing my favorite bralette of hers—the pastel-blue lace one. She had a scoop neck top on that showed it off hella nicely, and a pair of gray jeans were molded majorly appetizingly to her cute little ass.
“Fuck me, you assholes,” I choked out.
Win’s arm was around me suddenly. “See, things can actually be good. Not all worry and downers constantly.”
I shot him a look. “Sure, Win. Let’s say that.” Dammit, I just hadn’t been able to keep it in.
Evira and Vax exchanged a look.
“What’s happened?” Evira asked.
“Or happening?” Vax added.
I braced myself to come up with a viable excuse to bolster whatever Winter was about to throw out there, while also keeping my heart rate steady so he didn’t get outed. As much as he was pissing me off right now, I wouldn’t do that to him.
But then something striking happened.
He stared at me with a whole lot of pain and upset—for me.
And then he sighed and revealed, “I’ve been feeding a lot more than usual. From Zayn only, as we agreed. But it’s still been… a great deal more than I’ve ever done before. Ever since the abduction and whatever Ruxnoth did to protect me from feeling the effects of the Nihilumbra.”
I blew out a massive breath, which wasn’t exactly subtle.
“I’m sorry,” Win said, stroking my shoulder. “I should’ve revealed this sooner. I didn’t realize—or allow myself to realize, I suppose—how much this was worrying you.”
“My lovely,” Evira said, stepping up to Win and cupping his cheek. “I thought we’d made it clear that your need to feed isn’t something to be ashamed of with the three of us. It’s not seen that way at all by any of us.”
“It’s the uncontrollable element now attached to it,” Vax stated in his usual astute way. “It feels different now, a different kind of shame, yes?”
Win nodded.
“It’s not,” Vax ground out fiercely. He grasped Winter’s shoulder.
“Listen carefully, little death. This was done to you. Inflicted upon you. Beforehand you found a way to soothe yourself, to reconcile your death-cold nature all on your own. You regulated yourself also, all the while enduring all of that alone. That is something to be commended. Now Ruxnoth has upturned that. It’s not your shame to hold. Do you understand me?”
“I… do.” He looked away. “But I still should be able to control my own body.”
“And you will again,” Vax assured him.
Win looked back at him, arching an eyebrow, and the hope there killed me with how desperately he needed it. Shit. It was a good thing I’d brought this up, then, after all. It had been eating at him so badly.
“How do you know? How can you be so sure?”
“One, because it’s your body. Yours to control, no matter how that heathen has framed things to you. Two, because we’ll help you. There are resources I can tap, avenues I can investigate.”
“While we’re figuring this out, if you’re thinking about stopping the feeding, I don’t think that’s a good idea. It could worsen what you’re experiencing and cause you more distress, lovely,” Evira warned.
“And I need to be functional for my training with my dad—and not alert him to any of this.”
“I’m fine continuing with it. Well, let’s face it, you know I fucking love it when you feed from me, babe,” I assured him.
“I was just worried about it on your end. But you admitting to there being an issue, now even telling them, and entertaining solutions… it changes things, takes away some of that worry.”
“The only solution might be Ruxnoth,” he told us.
Evira, Vax, and I exchanged a heavy look.
Thankfully, Vax had it, telling Winter, “A solution you’re not in a position to seek out. Not yet, at least.”
“It’s way too dangerous,” Evira told him.
“For now, or until you’re ready to bring your family in on it,” I said.
He started shaking his head vehemently.
“All right, all right,” Evira said, easing Winter to her.
He rested his head on her shoulder and sank into her comfort.
With her it was somehow both sweet and sturdy, like toughness wrapped in silk.
Actually, like steel wrapped in it. “We’ll go ahead with what we’ve already said.
Continue feeding as you have been lately with Zayn.
Just keep us updated, okay? No more shame getting in the way of telling us what you need, or what’s freaking you out and hurting you. ”
“Okay,” he murmured against her.
Vax reached out to me and stroked my nape. “Well done. He needed to release that.”
I smiled out at him.
And then he went about shifting the tone by asking, “Well, then, are we going to discuss our dragon princess’ incredible decimation of an abhorrent detractor in the middle of class earlier?”
Evira shook her head in dismay as she stroked Winter’s hair. “Really? You want to relive that? You, of all people, Vaxan? The mediator? With your approach that you hold so true to—diplomacy over might and rash actions?”
“I did tell you that I take action when it’s called for. There are exceptions to my preferred approach.”
I rubbed my hands together. “My favorite thing about that awesome takedown was… hmm… it’s a tossup. I can’t choose between the kick in the junk, or the way you sat back down after like nothing had happened, all cool and collected and—”
“Warrior queen-like,” Win finished for me, lifting his head off her and standing back to admire her.
“Mine was the face slam down on the desk,” Vax announced, surprising us all. “It was decidedly primal and appropriately vicious,” he explained.
We all burst out laughing, until Evira waved us off, and insisted we got down to the actual cooking part of the evening.
Your wish is our command, baby.
Damn, she was fucking incredible.
All three of them were.
We were as a unit.
Through even the more challenging and darker times, that didn’t waver.
And I just knew… it never would.
So, it turned out Vax was ace with a knife.
Like, beyond even next-level.
I had kind of figured after I’d seen those daggers he kept in that chest under his bed.
Although, I hadn’t known for sure whether the skills it took to wield those would transfer over into this.
He’d been at the Feast Plate station dicing and chopping rapid-fire using his supernatural speed like a king, and really getting into it.
Not just that aspect either, it had opened up the way to him being excited about the actual food too, where he’d asked me about mixing this and that, how it might taste and go together.
He’d even made a cool suggestion about the cheesecake dessert that had led to us adding enchanted salt flakes into the mix as well.
Now, Evira had been a different story.
When she’d tried to emulate Vax’s knife tricks, thinking she could easily because she possessed that same supernatural speed like him, it hadn’t exactly panned out well.
She’d gotten super frustrated with the cheese.
And then with beating the eggs to make the Savory Hand Pies.
She’d ended up blasting the mix with her ice until it had erupted in a mini-bomb of icicles and snow that had rained down all over that station.
Good thing I’d brought extra. Teaching cooking to newbies, you kind of had to be prepared for that sort of thing.
From that, it had made sense to me why she’d only stuck with the quiche up until now. She didn’t like not being great at something right off the bat, or at least displaying an immediate talent for it.
Vax had told her that he’d spent years learning how to wield his daggers effectively, where he’d had loads of accidents and mishaps along the way, even once apparently driving them through a load-bearing wall in the Basilisk Dominion and causing a mini cave-in as a kid.
She’d then admitted that she’d buried herself beneath her own ice when she was younger because she’d tried to do too much, and that whole incident was why she was claustrophobic.
After she’d told us that, I’d sent Win away from the desserts—because he was a disaster with anything extra sticky—well, at least when it came to food.
Sexually, that was a whole other matter where sticky things were concerned.
But, anyway, I’d sent him over to Evira and his gentle, patient nature with others had really worked out well.
Within a few minutes, Evira had been making a new go of it with the Savory Hand Pies, and even bouncing off Winter’s lack of culinary skills really well.