Chapter 2
KNOX
L iving on my own for the last four years hasn’t bothered me.
As a matter of fact, I’m lucky. I haven’t had to deal with others trying to steal what I’ve been able to gather, haven’t had to ask anyone for permission to do what I thought was best, and I haven’t had to look over my shoulder at whoever is following close behind.
These days, either the person you’re with dies, or they stab you in the back.
It’s just the way of the world.
Alone is what I prefer.
I had almost forgotten what my voice sounded like until I opened my mouth, and spoke to her. When I unexpectedly yelled her name, the look of surprise on Beth’s face prompted me to say something I never thought I would again.
"A proposition?" Her voice is full of suspicion, and her eyes narrow.
I get it. She doesn’t trust me, and truth be told, she shouldn’t. There are a lot of people, not just men, who have used this situation to excuse very bad behavior. There aren’t many people you can trust.
Transactional relationships are the way the world works now.
There's no telling what she thinks I'm about to say to her.
To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to say to her until the sentence pours out of my mouth.
Whether it be born out of loneliness, the ingrained need I have to take care of other people, or whatever.
I say these next words without meaning to, but I mean them with everything I have.
“If we're going to the same place, we should go together.
It'd be safer, and I don't know about you, but I could use some company. "
I can literally see her rolling the idea over in her mind. Her fingers are twisting, and her feet are shuffling back and forth as she looks at me. "How do I know I can trust you?" The question comes out with a hoarse honesty.
Shrugging, I give her that same honesty back. “You don't, but I don't know I can trust you either, so we're both risking something here."
She gives a nod.
I forge on, and tell her exactly what I’m thinking.
“If at any time you feel like we need to separate, I'm good with doing that.
" It's important for me to give her options.
Options aren't something that many people have any longer.
Options and hope are commodities in this world.
I'm not the type of man to take those two things away from a woman.
I wasn't before Eruption happened, and I won't do it now, either.
My heart pounds as I wait to hear what she'll say. She reaches up and rubs at her earlobe.
"Alright, and I appreciate it. I'll go with you, if it's okay."
She says those words almost so low I can't hear them, but when it hits me that she's said she wants to travel with me, I feel something I haven't felt in a long time: hope. It’s almost been all but stripped from me, and goddamn, I’ve missed it.
"Good, I'm glad you're going to come with me.
I have a motorcycle behind that building over there.
" I point behind what used to be an urgent care.
Her eyes widen, and her mouth opens. "You have transportation?"
"Yeah, I found it a few months ago, and I've been able to keep it up in gas so far. It doesn't take much. It's nice not to have to walk everywhere."
"I can't remember what it was like not to walk everywhere." A smile lights up her face. "Let's get on the road."
I have to shake my head because that smile?
It transformed her face, making her look more her age.
For just a few moments, I try to think of this like it had been in the old days.
Before Eruption, before people started fighting one another, before the fall of all of it. I wouldn't have been with Beth.
Truth is, although I remember her from our hometown, and I admit that she was always cute, I never would’ve approached her. She was younger than me, and back then, I'd had eyes only for Maple, my ex-wife.
Thank fuck Beth looks nothing like she had.
Maple was the epitome of completely put together all the time.
Her blonde hair was always fixed, and she hated if I even kissed her hard enough to mess up her lipstick.
I haven't thought about Maple in a long time.
It wasn't like she and I had been close before Eruption happened.
We'd been at the tail-end of an ugly divorce.
She'd cheated on me, and I'd reacted horribly to it. For a hot minute right before Eruption happened, we’d thought about riding it out together, but it ended up not happening.
Part of me wonders if she made it or not.
"C'mon, it's over here." I shake myself out of my thoughts and point toward the building my motorcycle is behind. "I go slow to conserve gas. So far, I’ve lucked out and found small amounts that have gotten me from place to place."
"It's amazing what you're able to do, huh?" She walks just a little way in front of me, not quite even, but not enough so that her back is to me. "If someone had asked me five years ago if I thought I'd be able to survive an apocalypse, I'd have laughed in their face."
"Yeah." I shake my head in wonder. "I've seen both the best and worst in humanity, and right now I'd love to get a place to land.
I'm sick of being a nomad." There, I admitted it out loud to someone other than myself.
"I'm hoping that those talking about a community near Nashville are right. I'm sick of doing this all on my own."
"I am too," she says softly.
When we make it around the building to my motorcycle, I wait for her to face me. "Right. So like I said, if at any time you want to leave, just let me know. I'll try to get you somewhere safe to drop you off. Otherwise, we're in this together."
She pulls her full bottom lip in between her teeth. "I'm trusting you, Knox."
“And I don't take that lightly. Not many have trusted me since this bullshit started.
" What I want to say to her is I haven't really wanted anyone to trust me.
But her? I want it. Something is pulling me to her, telling me that there's a reason we met up again.
I'm big on gut feelings. It saved my life more than once when I was on patrol with the sheriff’s department or I'd stopped a car for speeding.
My intuition is flashing like a fucking carnival ride right now.
We get on the bike, and it's awkward at first. Neither one of us knows where to put our hands. For a good five minutes as we roll down the road, she has her hands on the sissy bar.
"Would you just put your fuckin’ arms around my waist?" I growl over the engine. "You're gonna pull your back out, and it's gonna be awkward as hell to ride."
She doesn't say anything, but I can feel the sigh when the hairs on my neck move. "I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable."
"Trust me, Beth. I haven't been touched in years, so it's going to be uncomfortable." In my head, I add, but it might be damn enjoyable.
On the crumbling remains of the road, we pass a fading sign for I-165 directing us south to Nashville.
"Will we stay on the main road?" she asks. "Seems like it'd be dangerous, with the gangs that are roaming around."
The fucking gangs. My stomach drops as I think of them and the destruction they’ve caused.
They're followers who would prefer for others to protect them instead of protecting themselves, which lends to a cult-like mentality, and they do whatever their leaders tell them to do.
They are extremely dangerous, and I want to stay as far away from them as I can.
"No, we're only going as far as what was Morgantown on the road, then we'll hit back roads and take the woods. I have a couple of old maps."
"I'm trusting you, Knox."
And although the words sound like she's doing it against her will, they also make my chest swell.
It's been a long time since anyone else has counted on me for anything.
I've been telling myself I was fine by myself, but as I feel her arms tighten around my waist, I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, it'll be nice to be counted on again.