Chapter 5 Scarlett
FIVE
SCARLETT
Connor Fucking Hayes.
The last man I ever wanted to see again and now my sister is getting married in his lodge on his property.
I don’t believe for a second it was an innocent mistake that Sienna’s booking was changed from the small ballroom to the grand ballroom without any additional fees and we were getting an open bar at no additional cost.
Thankfully, we don’t see Connor again after Harvey gives us a tour of the lodge. The grand ballroom is as gorgeous as we expect it to be with sweeping arches, a breathtaking view of the Rockies, and a ten feet tall Christmas tree which Harvey says we can remove if we want.
Apparently, Silverpine takes their Christmas decorations very seriously.
As Sienna expected, she falls in love with the grand ballroom and takes out her phone to video call Luke.
“Scarlett, what was that?” Mom questions, while Sienna is busy showing Luke the view.
“What was what?” I ask.
“That,” Mom motions towards the ballroom exit. “With Connor Hayes.”
“Oh, that,” I laugh, and it sounds fake and brittle to my own ears. “It was nothing.”
I’m aware of Harvey standing close to us and even though her eyes are trained on her phone, I have no doubt her ears are open and listening to our conversation.
“Scarlett,” Dad says. “That outburst was unexpected even from you. How do you know Connor Hayes?”
My throat closes up. How can I tell my parents and sisters that I dated someone for six months and hid it from them? How can I tell them now that he broke my heart and I barely survived because I loved him with every molecule of my being and seeing him now was a stab through my barely healed heart?
“Can we talk about this later?” I ask, glancing at Harvey.
Dad and Mom exchange a concerned glance. “Sure, Angel,” Dad concedes.
Sadie puts her arm through mine as Mom and Dad turn to speak with Harvey.
“Is Connor the guy?” Sadie asks, her voice low. “The one who broke your heart?”
I sigh. I don’t think it was easy to hide my heartbreak from my parents. It was even harder to hide it from my sisters. Mostly because we live together, and they saw me not leave the bed for weeks and avoid all mention of anything romantic.
“Yeah, that’s him.”
“You didn’t tell us he was hot! Or that it’s literally Connor Hayes!” Sadie says. “I hate him, obviously. But damn.” She looks over our shoulders towards the ballroom entrance, trying to catch a glimpse of Connor. Not that he’s anywhere to be seen.
I giggle despite myself. If there’s anyone who can make me laugh about this situation, it’s my sisters. Connor still being as hot as ever makes this whole situation worse.
“I don’t want to talk about him,” I say.
Sadie snorts. “Too late for that now. You know mom and dad are going to want all the details.”
“I didn’t know he’d be here!” I protest. “He should have to explain what he did instead of me having to explain his indiscretions.”
Sadie’s eyes are sharp with anger when they meet mine. “Wait. Did he cheat on you? Because I’ve heard enough horror stories about dating hockey players.”
“No, he didn’t cheat on me.”
I never doubted for a second that Connor was in love with me. I never worried that he was going to find someone more interesting, someone funnier or prettier. When he looked at me, I knew I was the only one he wanted, and he told me that every day.
He sent me flowers the night after we met with a card that said I should call him when I was ready, and he hoped I did because he wanted to see me again.
I didn’t call him for a week because I’d been love bombed before and he was older and more experienced.
What the hell did he want with me? But the excitement in his voice was like a kid waking up to all his favorite toys on Christmas morning.
The intensity of being wanted by Connor Hayes was scary and wonderful. It was a heady experience that I never wanted to recover from.
“What did he do?” Sadie asks. “I’m going to hate him regardless, but I’d like to channel my anger productively.”
I snort at her phrasing. When my parents put me into therapy, they thought it would be a good idea to send my sisters as well.
It seemed to work for them better than it did for me.
It’s not the therapist’s fault when the universe wants to continuously prove I’m right. I have an inkling and I’m rarely wrong.
“He left, Sadie,” I say. “One day he was just gone. No phone call, no text. I went to his apartment, and he’d left a fucking letter with the doorman.”
“What did the letter say?”
Opening my purse, I grab the letter from the back pocket and hold it out for her. Sadie’s mouth drops open.
“Scarlett! You never read it?”
“What would be the point?” I put the letter back. “Sadie, he left. Anything he had to say, he could have said over a phone call or text. He never tried to get in touch with me, not even to check if I got the letter or if I read it. That tells me whatever is in the letter isn’t that important.”
Sadie frowns, but doesn’t say anything. Truth is, I couldn’t bring myself to read the letter those first few months. I knew whatever was in it was just going to make my heart hurt worse. After that, it didn’t make much sense to revisit it.
“You obviously still care, otherwise you wouldn’t be carrying it around with you,” Sadie says.
Ugh, sisters.
“I thought you hate Connor?” I arch an eyebrow at her.
“I do,” she agrees, widening her hazel eyes. “I also want to know what’s in that love letter he wrote you.”
“It’s not a love letter,” I say with a laugh. How can it be a love letter when he used it to dump me?
“What love letter?” Mom asks, turning to us.
“The one that Connor wrote to her, and she never read because she was rightfully angry he left without saying goodbye,” Sadie says.
Mom gasps and I elbow Sadie lightly in the side. I held onto this heartbreak for a year and a half, and she revealed it in less than a second. Dad, Sienna, and Harvey are talking in the distance and thankfully haven’t heard.
I grab mom’s hand. “Please, let’s not talk about this. I don’t want it to overshadow Sienna’s wedding, please.”
Mom pinched her lips together and nodded. I can tell she wants to know more but she also knows I’m right. We’re here for Sienna and should be focusing on her wedding going smoothly. We’ll have family descending on us soon and we need to get everything in order.
“We’ll talk about this when we get home,” Mom says.
“Yes, absolutely. I’m all for it. I love talking about my feelings.”
Both Mom and Sadie laugh at that. The last thing I want or enjoy is talking about my feelings.
I’ve always been a little lost in my own world, getting irritated quickly and getting over it even quicker.
I keep the hurt and the frustrations to myself, unlike the rest of my family who just love talking about their feelings.
Maybe it’s because I’m the middle child and I always had emotions flowing over me through my sisters. There was always something happening that needed attention with them and I realized I hated any kind of attention so I just kept things to myself.
“Okay, we’re going for lunch after this. Harvey was just telling us about a Christmas market and I thought we could do that this evening?” Mom says.
“Sounds fun!” I agree, forcing all the cheer I didn’t feel into my words.
Sienna and Harvey exchange numbers in case anything goes wrong with the booking.
I take a chance to really look at Harvey.
She’s gorgeous, tall and statuesque, the kind of woman I thought Connor would prefer.
Her eyeliner is perfect, the wing sharp, hair pulled back into a ponytail with some strands left to frame her face.
I love her immediately. She has the kind of vibe that makes me feel comfortable, that invites me to open up and be her friend. I see it for the danger it is. I can’t open up to her if she’s Connor’s friend.
As we’re walking out of the lodge, she looks at me and grins.
I stop, letting my family go in front of me. “There wasn’t a mix up with the booking, was there?”
Harvey shrugs innocently. “I’m not at liberty to say.”
“I don’t know what he thinks he’s doing but my sister’s wedding is very important to me and if he does anything to mess it up, he’s going to regret it,” I say.
Harvey nods once. “I’ll pass that along to him.”
I open my mouth to say more but my words get stuck in my throat when Connor walks out the door behind the reception desk. He’s been running his hands through his hair because it’s that perfect, floppy mess. I hate that I still remember what it felt like to run my hands through his hair.
He freezes when he sees me and for a second, we’re locked in a stare-off. Looking at him makes my heart hurt, like someone has reached inside my chest and wrapped their hand around it.
He moves forward, opening his mouth.
I look away from him to Harvey. “Thank you for your help.”
And then I walk away without another word, just like he did.