Chapter 19 Scarlett
NINETEEN
SCARLETT
As Connor promised, the roads are cleared by the evening, and he takes me back to my family.
Our hands are joined for the whole drive, and I get it.
We spent the whole day talking and being layabouts and I don’t want it to end.
All the old feelings are coming back and I’m starting to realize that the Connor I loved--love--would have never left me because he didn’t want me.
“Come to the ranch tomorrow morning to ride,” Connor says, pressing me against his black truck in front of the Inn.
“You?” I ask, wide-eyed.
He laughs. “That’s always an option, but I was talking about horses.”
“Oooh, I’m sure the family will love that.” I blink up at him innocently. “Do you think Oliver will be available to ride with me? I’ve never ridden a horse before.”
I met the ranch foreman as we were leaving, and he is cute.
Connor growls, nuzzling my neck. “You’ll ride with me, baby girl.” He kisses me slow and deep, as if he’s trying to remind me that only he kisses me like this. Like only he has the right.
“Ahem.”
We pull apart to see Harvey coming down the porch steps, a shit-eating grin on her face. I smile at her, but it drops when I see Jane exiting the Honeysuckle behind her. Jane has made an enemy out of me for life for trying to destroy my sister’s wedding.
“I see you two made up,” Harvey says.
“I’m hard to resist,” Connor replies.
“He’s too pretty, so we can ignore his delusions,” I say to Harvey.
“Connor, can I talk to you?” Jane asks, stepping up to us. Harvey shifts uncomfortably.
I arch up, kissing Connor’s cheek. “See you later?”
“Of course. I still have to meet all my in-laws,” he says, winking at me.
I laugh, walking up the steps to the Inn.
When I step through the door, I feel like a different person than I was when I left it last night.
I climb up the stairs two at a time and use my key to unlock the room door.
It’s empty, so Sadie must be in the cousins room or somewhere else.
Shrugging off my jacket, I drop it on my bed and reach for my purse.
If I’m going to move forward, I need to make sure the past is in the past.
Pulling out Connor’s letter, I sit down on the chair and finally open it.
Baby girl,
This isn’t a letter I ever thought I would write.
Once you read it, you will probably wonder why I didn’t call you or see you, and the truth is, I’m too much of a coward to do either of those things.
Being with you is the first time I’ve felt like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
There was always this ball of anxiety in my chest that I was doing the wrong thing, chasing my dream. But that dream also brought me to you.
I’m going back to Silverpine. By the time you read this letter, I’ll probably already be there.
My grandfather is dying and he’s requested--demanded--that I return.
In a perfect world, he would understand my need for you, he would understand that I can’t be happy without you. This isn’t a perfect world.
I carry around too much guilt for leaving and a part of me feels like I owe my grandfather for raising three rowdy boys who just lost their parents.
He’s the man who taught me everything, but he’s also demanding and strict, and he expects me to take over as the head of the family after he’s gone. There was never another choice for me.
I want to be selfish and ask you to come with me. Don’t worry, I’m not going to. I’m not going to remove you from your roots and plant you where you don’t belong. I also know it’s going to be a hard transition for me and I’m not going to be a good partner for you.
You’ll probably hate me, and you have every right to.
The choice should have been yours. But loving someone means you’re willing to make good choices for them.
To protect them. I hope you know that I’m protecting you, baby girl.
From the town, from the bitterness of waiting for me to come back all the while knowing I can’t.
I’m never going to stop loving you, Scarlett. You’re not going to run into me in ten years and see me living a life without you. Without you, there is no life. I’m a creature of skin and bones, merely existing. You’re the thing which gives me life.
I’m so sorry.
Always yours,
Connor
A tear splashes onto the page, and I hastily swipe at my cheek. Sadie was right. This is a love letter.
“Angel.”
I blink and look up to see my family standing in the room, all wearing faces of concern.
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Oh, honey, what happened?” Mom rushes forward and pulls me into a hug. “I know you shouldn’t have left with him. You’re so much smarter than that, Scarlett. What did Connor do?”
I hug my mother, breathing in the scent of her perfume, the same one she’s worn since I was a kid. I look at the rest of my family over her shoulder.
“He bought me a ring,” I find myself saying. “He keeps it in his sock drawer. He built me a recording studio in his house because even though we don’t have to live here, he wants me to be comfortable when we visit. He told me I’m what gives him life.”
“He broke her,” Sadie says. “That’s too much emotion for her to handle.”
Maybe Connor did break me because I can’t stop the flow of tears. I’m crying for the year and a half we missed out on. I cry for the boy who never felt his dreams were accepted.
Dad walks over and kisses the top of my head.
“She’s just a little overwhelmed,” Dad says.
I pull away from mom and wipe my tears, folding the letter and putting it back in my purse. I’m probably going to have to frame or put it in a plastic protector so it doesn’t get damaged over the years.
As we drive up to Cedar Creek Ranch the next morning, I realize it wasn’t enough that Connor was thinking of me last night. I needed him with me, needed to feel his hands on my body.
So I’m a little eager as we get out of the car and walk towards the stable.
I see him immediately. He’s got his hat on, which I left here the night before last. He’s busy brushing Midnight’s shiny black coat, leaning in to whisper in his ear. I admire his resilience. He never wanted to be here, but I can’t deny that he’s made something good of it.
“Ooh, who’s that?” I turn to Mia, following her gaze to Oliver, who’s working with the other horses. The ranch horseman has a forbidding, dark look about him. He’s cute, but he also gives off ‘don’t come near me’ vibes.
“Mia, he’s so much older than you. He’s older than me,” I say.
She looks at me with wide brown eyes. “Connor is older than you.”
“That’s different. I met him when my frontal lobe had already developed. And the difference between twenty-seven and thirty-eight is a lot shorter than nineteen and whatever age Oliver is.”
She twists her mouth to the side, still looking at Oliver like he’s a delicious meal. Julia walks up next to her sister and while they’re talking, I walk over to Connor.
“Hey, handsome,” I say.
Connor turns to me, eyes sparkling with delight. “Are you talking to me or Midnight?”
“Midnight, obviously,” I quip.
He growls, dipping down to kiss me.
“Are you ready to ride?”
I give him the biggest smile. “I’m always ready to ride, cowboy.”
I turn as Oliver brings over the other horses and together, Oliver and Connor give everyone a lecture on what not to do while riding a horse.
We saddle up and Connor helps me swing up onto Midnight. I’ve never been a fan of heights and Midnight is a beast. He shifts under me, and I let out a yelp. Connor pats my thigh and Midnight’s flank.
“Easy. Everything’s okay.”
“Who are you talking to?”
“You both.”
He swings up behind me. My ass presses right against his groin.
“We’re not going too far,” Connor says to the group. “Follow me or Oliver and stay close.”
Taking Midnight’s reins, he leads us into a trot. The group follows behind us. Connor points out things as we walk, like where the staff housing is, the lodge, the property line. He tells us that once, when he was a kid, a bear casually strolled onto the property.
“Only in Canada,” Sadie says. “Remember when we saw a mountain goat when we did that Banff tour?”
Sienna and I nod in remembrance.
We keep riding and I fall into the rhythm of Midnight’s movements beneath me. The confident way Connor commands him. There’s an icy patch and Connor tugs on the reins to stop the horse. The motion startles me and I gasp, grabbing onto his thigh.
“It’s okay, baby girl. Everything’s fine.” Connor slips his hand through my coat and top, resting it against my stomach over the waistband of my leggings. The touch steadies me. “Just lean back into me. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Behind us, I can hear everyone talking, but with Connor’s hard torso behind me, his arm around me, I forget they’re there.
“Connor, I keep thinking, the last-minute wedding stuff must be costing a lot of money. I know I said you have to help me, but it’s going to be a while before I’m able to pay you back.” I’m worried the cost is going to make my eyes bug out of my head, cartoon character style.
In response, Connor nips at my jaw, which is the only part of my upper body not covered by winter clothes. “My money is your money, baby girl. There’s no one else I’d rather spend it on and if you wanted to give your sister a wedding which rivals the royals, I’d do that for you.”
“I don’t want your money,” I argue.
“But you have it,” Connor says, obstinately.
He was paid millions in the NHL and there’s generational wealth involved here.
We had this same argument when he bought me a Cartier watch for my birthday, three months into our relationship.
The watch is delicate, the face and band inlaid with small diamonds, not the kind of thing I can wear every day.
“Connor--”
My words are cut off when he slips a hand into my leggings and panties.
“You’ll let me take care of you,” Connor says against my ear, his fingers teasing me. “You won’t complain when I spend money on you, on things which make you happy, on things I know you want but will never ask for.”
As he talks, he lowers his fingers and gently pushes them inside me.
“I know you like that, baby girl. Your pussy is dripping wet.”
I bite my lip. It’s less the idea of him taking care of me financially and more just him taking care of me. Something about him thinking about me all the time makes me really hot.
One of my sisters or cousins asks him a question, which he answers without a change in his voice.
Like this isn’t affecting him at all, when I have the evidence pressed against my ass.
For the rest of the ride, Connor keeps fucking me with his fingers but just enough to drive me crazy and not come.
He keeps me on the edge and each time his thumb accidentally brushes my clit, I have to bite my lip to keep from making a noise.
Once we’re back in the stables, Connor invites everyone to come to the lodge for lunch, which we accept. I stay behind to help Connor with the horses while Oliver takes everyone else to the lodge. As soon as they are out of sight, I jump him.
“You can’t just tease me and then head off to lunch,” I say, before kissing him.
Connor groans, gripping the back of my head and tilting it to give him better access to my mouth. My hands are on his body, unbuckling his belt and unhooking his jeans.
“Someone can come back,” he says.
“I don’t care.” I’m dying for him; I have been since last night. I pull away from him. “I read your letter.”
Connor freezes, eyes bouncing between mine. “Oh?”
I lick his bottom lip. “I still think you should have called me, but I understand why you did what you did. I don’t support it. Don’t mistake my understanding for support. I would appreciate it if you can just talk to me in the future and if you do something like this again, we’re done.”
The biggest grin spreads across his lips, his eyes like sparkling gemstones.
“I’m never letting you go, baby girl,” he promises.
He presses me against the wall of a stall, lifting me to wrap my legs around his waist.
“Too many clothes,” I complain.
“We should go back to the house.”
“Too far.”
I quickly remove my upper layer of clothes.
Connor turns me, pressing my front to the wall and then I feel him.
The head of his cock notching at my entrance and he comes inside in a forceful thrust, stretching me with his thick cock.
I let my head fall forward to rest on the wall as Connor rests his head on my shoulder.
He doesn’t move and I don’t urge him to. We stay like that, reveling in our connection.
“I need you more than my next breath,” he says.
“You have me,” I whisper.
He grasps my wrists with both hands, holding them above my head and he grips my hip with his other hand as he pulls out and thrusts deep. I gasp, body jerking forward with his movements, but he’s got me trussed up against him.
“You don’t understand how desperate I am, Scarlett. I’m a starving man without you.”
My throat tightens. “Connor.”
His name is a whisper lost in the wind.
His cock plunges into me again and again, our sounds filling the stable. The only sounds I hear are his words of lust in my ear, his groans, and pleasure. My clit throbs with the need to come, but I don’t touch myself. I want to elongate this moment as much as possible.
Connor doesn’t feel the same way because he reaches around, rolling his thumb over my clit. My body spasms, core clenching around him as I come with a loud cry of his name. Connor follows, spilling into me with powerful bursts, his groan filling my ears.
He removes his t-shirt, uses it to clean me up as best he can as I blush furiously.
Once our clothes are back in the right place, he cups my face, tilting my head back to look at him.
“I love you, Scarlett.”
“Is the ring for me?” I ask, suddenly getting this niggling worry in the back of my mind that it’s for someone else.
Connor blinks in surprise. “You saw it?”
“When I was looking for socks,” I say with a nod.
Sighing, he kisses my temple, pulling me against him. “I bought it a month before I left.”
“You were going to propose when we hadn’t been dating for six months?” I ask, incredulous.
“When you know, you know, Scarlett.” He looks down at me. “And I knew from the first moment I met you.”
When he says things like that, it’s hard not to tell him I love him, so I do just that.
“I love you, too.”