Chapter Twenty
Shabina’s garden had been transformed into a lush jungle setting, with orchids climbing up trees and hundreds of flowers lining either side of the path leading to the flowing fountain. An archway, dripping with flowers and vines in every shade of green, led into the opulent backdrop.
Harlow hadn’t expected to find it so romantic.
She’d never thought of herself as a romantic person, but the entire environment Shabina and the other women had created in the huge garden was fit for royalty.
A soft breeze gently lifted flower petals, releasing fragrant scents to add to the illusion of a jungle.
Harlow had always loved peonies. They were her favorite flower, but she hadn’t known any of her friends were aware of it.
She wanted to peek out of the dressing room to see the man she was going to marry.
He had been the one to uncover her secret, just through observation.
In the center of the table in their living room was a huge bouquet of peonies that were forever flowers, lasting a year. A gift from her man.
Her love of the flowers must have been conveyed to the wedding planner because there were extraordinary amounts of peonies throughout the garden.
Benches and chairs were designed of fancy white filigree, adding to the beauty of the setup.
She particularly liked the way the various types of vines crept from trees, fencing, the archway and dozens of other pillars that were scattered throughout the garden.
“Are you ready for this, Harlow?” Sam’s low voice brought Harlow out of her thoughts and back to the reality of the moment.
“Yes.” She was nervous, but not because she was getting married. She wanted to be Wilder’s wife. His family. The one for him. She was absolutely certain of her decision. She didn’t like being the center of attention, and brides, on their wedding day, definitely were in the spotlight.
As if Sam knew why, he wrapped an arm around her. “Every person out there is your friend. We only invited a select few. Stella was very careful with the guest list, and word didn’t get out that you were getting married,” he assured.
“It feels wrong to be happy when I just lost my parents,” she confided. “I was at odds with my mother, but I always thought she would be here with me on this day.”
“You have every right to be happy,” Sam declared. “I’ll be right with you until we reach Wilder. He’ll take over when I put your hand in his.”
“I feel safe here, Sam. I want to marry him.”
“Why?” Sam challenged gently. “The truth is, I didn’t see you two getting together. I knew he wanted to be with you, but you stayed very aloof.”
Harlow had to admit that was the truth. “It was always him, but I didn’t want him to know. I sabotage relationships. I wanted to be able to at least be friends with him.”
He gave her his rare very genuine smile. “Woman, you can’t very well sabotage a relationship if you’re never in one. I’ve watched you avoid any involvement with men. You haven’t gone on a single date in all the time I’ve known you.”
“That can’t be true,” Harlow protested, and then she laughed, thinking about it when he leveled his penetrating gaze on her.
“Okay, that’s probably the case. I had no intention of leading someone on when I knew they didn’t have a chance.
I didn’t have the best example of a loving, true partnership marriage.
I really was afraid that I couldn’t trust a man not to be like the senator, or me not to turn into a woman who would do anything to keep her man.
Or worse, and there is a worse, destroy a good man with doubt and insecurity. ”
“Insecurity?” he prompted.
Harlow hadn’t talked this much about her feelings of marriage and relationships to anyone other than Wilder.
“It’s me,” Sam reminded. “Always had your back. Always will.”
“In my family, there was a constant need for perfection. I had to wear a mask every single hour of the day. The stress and anxiety of living in that state were too much. And living a lie, knowing what the senator and my mother were doing, covering up his continual need to be with young women, the way he felt entitled, and my mother encouraging the behavior, the lying and cheating, the bribery and absolute lack of morals. When I was finally able to break away, I swore to myself I’d never go near anything like that mess again.
Living that way for so long, it took me forever to sort out who I am.
What I want in life. Whether I could ever have real friends or trust myself to give enough of the real me to be a friend. ”
“That’s called self-preservation. You do realize that, like Shabina, you suffer from PTSD.”
“I suppose in some way I’m aware. That lifestyle was my normal.
I didn’t know any other way as a child or teen.
I knew if I had children, I wanted them to be loved and cherished, and most of all, to know their home was a safe haven.
How was I going to get that for them when I couldn’t get it for myself? ”
“I understand, Harlow, but why did you let Wilder in? What about him was so different?”
She smiled at him, once again feeling serenity steal over her like an invisible cloak of protection. That came directly from Wilder.
“For one thing, he was very persistent and didn’t exactly take no for an answer.
There isn’t anyone like him. He never gets upset with me.
He doesn’t yell. He puts me first. He’s so consistent about it.
I find myself in a jam, uncertain what to do, and every single time I’ve turned to him, he’s been there, steady as a rock, sorting the problem out in a way I could live with.
More, in a way that made me feel like I mattered, and what I thought and felt mattered.
Never having had that, I can’t tell you how safe he makes me feel. ”
She considered just how Wilder had changed her mind about being with him.
“It’s more than that. I believe him when he says he loves me.
I might be all over the place, but he’s calm and consistent when he responds to anything I say or do.
He gives me space when I need it and is there to talk things out with me when I’m ready.
I think the bottom line is, I believe him.
I believe in him. Because I can believe him when he tells me he loves me, or that I’m beautiful, or that he wants to spend his life with me.
I feel the truth of every one of those things. ”
Sam hugged her closer. “He did tell me he wakes up thinking about what he can do to make your day special. He thinks about how he can best smooth out any problems that may crop up. I love that for you, Harlow. You deserve it.”
“It’s funny that he said that to you. I wake up thinking that about him. How can I make him feel special? Cared for? What can I do to ensure his day runs smoothly?”
“That’s good, Harlow. I didn’t mean to interrogate you, but it’s important to me that you’re happy.
And Wilder as well. He’s a good man. I don’t know his past, but I can see the way he’s so careful and, for the most part, closed off.
But not with you. When he’s with you, he reminds me of the way Rainier is with Shabina.
He’s a different man, and happy. Not just happy, content. ”
“That’s a very nice thing to say, Sam,” Harlow said.
Stella stuck her head into the room. “You ready for this?”
“She’s ready,” Sam assured, taking Harlow’s hand and tucking it into the crook of his arm.
“More than ready,” Harlow assured.
The music began to play as Zahra walked down the aisle with Rainier. Best man. Maid of honor. It was really happening. Harlow took her first step onto that flower-lined path, the one that led directly to Wilder and her future.
Wilder stood waiting. Tall. Strong. Gorgeous.
Her knight. She swore the light green of his eyes held liquid as his gaze met hers.
A thousand butterflies took wing inside her at that sight of him.
Her stomach did that slow roll she associated with him.
Her heart melted and felt incredibly full.
She hadn’t known she was capable of the flood of love taking over her.
She smiled and began the walk to him. She knew she loved him and he loved her. She finally believed.