Chapter Fifteen
The world had stopped spinning.
The floor was steady underneath me, no longer shuddering and quaking like I was walking on water. My legs trembled as I pushed from the ground. My fingers clawed at the wall as a shooting burst of pain stung my temples.
I could finally breathe again. The fiery burn had cooled in my throat. The band that squeezed my chest, loosening inch by inch until my back no longer threatened to snap from the tension.
But everything still ached.
It was a raw, visceral sear that echoed through my bones. An empty, caverning hollowness swirled through my chest and sucked the strength I willed into my muscles.
My hand trembled as I raised it to my face and scraped the damp streaks from my cheeks. I could feel the itchy puffiness under my eyes and my nose clogged and stuffy.
Pathetic. Weak. Not alone.
The footsteps were quiet but steady and determined. They thudded softly with a purpose, moving closer and bringing an undeniable scent of amber laced pine.
I sniffed, swallowing around the thick lump in my throat and standing straighter. I refused to look as Dax walked around the corner, as his presence filled the narrow hallway with a consuming weight.
The heat of his gaze flowed over me and I had never resented it more. There was no comfort, no warmth, just a molten fever that pricked my skin in thousands of white hot needles. It roamed with a languid calm, pensive and watchful.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I met his chocolate brown eyes with as much indifference as I could muster.
His brows were pinched together, his mouth set in a line and shoulders squared in an uncomfortable bravado. Dax opened his mouth but nothing came out before he closed it again.
Dax cleared his throat in an awkward cough.
"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice low as though he was hesitant to disturb the silence that hung in the air.
"Just peachy," I snapped with a smile that was more of a grimace.
The shame pierced my chest as my fragile mask shattered for the second time. My eyes dropped and I stared at the off-white wall in front of me.
Dax nodded, finally giving me reprieve from the searing path of his eyes.
"Can I..?"
His trailed off question drew my eyes back to where his hand gestured towards the spot on the floor next to where I stood.
I shrugged, bile swirling in my stomach.
Dax lowered himself to the ground, his legs stiff in the fitted suit he wore. His shiny dress shoes nearly touched the opposite wall.
The silence stretched, shifting from an awkward bubble to a blanket that covered the space between us. It wasn't comfort, not exactly, and not peace. Just quiet.
I felt my body moving on its own, my back leaning against the wall and sliding down until I sat on the floor a foot away from him with crossed legs.
When I didn't feel his scorching eyes on me, I allowed myself a daring glance up to see his head tipped back against the wall, his eyes on the ceiling.
He looked calm and pensive but there was a subtle tension in his stubbled jaw and a faint line etched between his eyebrows and around the corners of his lips. He was maybe as tired as I felt.
Nothing was said but I preferred it that way.
In the quiet, I could almost pretend that the evening hadn't happened, that this last week hadn't happened.
We had met under different circumstances, accepted our fates and were enjoying each other's company as we figured out what the future would look like together.
When he had rounded the corner, I expected biting words and raised voices. Instead, he was just there. I hated how much I liked it.
Dax's hand rustled in his internal pocket of his suit jacket but his eyes didn't waver from the spot he focused on.
A protein bar sat in the space between us, his hand sliding it towards me before he pulled back to lace his fingers together.
"You left before the food."
My heart lurched and something I didn't recognise swirled inside me. There were few things I wanted less than food with the churning in my stomach but I picked the bar up anyway.
"Thank you."
"She was only in my office for a second," Dax said as I fidgeted with the edge of the bar's wrapper. "I don't think we said more than five words."
I wasn't sure what he was trying to do. He had come out objectively better in that situation than I had, it seemed unreasonable that he was trying to defend himself while we were sitting here alone.
"She was asking for reports, something about prepping for a Council meeting. I probably gave her an extra file by accident," he continued as he adjusted the sleeves of his jacket.
My brows furrowed, lips tipping in a frown. "What are you trying to say?"
The question lingered in the air and I let my eyes move from the shiny wrapper to where he was avoiding looking at me.
"I'll speak to the Council, make sure they know it was an accident on my part," he answered, his voice confident and sure. "I'll make sure Talia's name is cleared."
My heart lurched again but this time I shoved the feeling deep down.
"And why now?" His fidgeting stopped at my words. "Did you just realise it mattered? Or did it just stop being inconvenient?"
"I knew." There was something in his steady tone, something almost apologetic. "But speaking out was inconvenient."
I huffed a short, breathy laugh, shaking my head as his face lowered and then his eyes met mine.
"I was wrong."
His eyes didn't waver, piercing my soul with his melting gaze. They were warm and strong, confident and filled with a vulnerability as he set his pride aside. For me.
"Why haven't you spoken up during all of this?" I asked, the question taking even me by surprise.
That small line between his brows came back as he took a moment. I could almost see him turning the question over in his mind, watch him choose each word.
For a moment, I looked at him, really considered him. Not the Alpha. Not the Council's golden boy. Just Dax. And I hated how human he looked then.
Tired. Burdened. Lonely. Just trying to survive the weight that rested on his shoulders. The same weight I could feel pressing down on mine.
"I spoke up a lot at the beginning, when I first took over as Alpha," he said in that low murmur that kept our conversation away from any prying ears. "We were smaller back then and no one wanted to listen so I made sure they didn't have a choice."
His eyes got a hazy look as he drifted into the memories.
"I fought for our place here. I earned back the respect my pack used to have. I don't want my pack down by losing that. Everything used to be a fight but now I pick my battles. I just wonder if I've been picking the right ones."
Dax looked away and I wanted to be mad. I wanted the anger to sweep through my veins like a frozen wave but the wash of outrage didn't come. It couldn't because I understood.
I had felt the fear of leading, of failing the ones who relied on me. The pressure weighed, dense and unrelenting, never allowing a moment of reprieve.
I didn't want to relate to him or feel a melting empathy. I wanted to hate him.
"I didn't expect you to follow me," I said to force myself away from the traitorous feelings.
"Neither did I."
Dax pushed his palms into the floor and stood, hand outstretched as he looked down at me.
My eyes flicked between him and the inviting hand. My wolf howled to take it, my brain warned against the thought.
But my instincts won.
The heat sparked in my fingertips as my skin touched his.
It spread up my wrist as his hand took mine, his skin calloused and meltingly warm.
My feet pushed into the ground but one flex of his arm and I was standing, my chest a breath away from his as that delicious heat flooded my body and buzzed in the space between us.
His hand was slow to drop mine, fingers gently unfurling.
I wanted it to be from his reluctance but I knew better.
"I'll speak to the Council about Talia," he said and I could almost feel the tickling tingle of his breath. "I've picked this battle."
"You've picked the right one."
Something flashed in his eyes but he looked away before I could figure it out. Instead, he nodded and turned away but he hesitated, shoulders dropping for just a moment before he walked away.
But I didn't miss the way his fingers twitched - almost like they were reaching for mine.
Finally! Waiting to give Dax a moment where he isn't a complete asshole has been killing me!
But he definitely doesn't deserve to be out of the woods yet.
What do you think? Is this the start of something more?