Chapter Nineteen
The coffee pot hissed and spat, filling the quiet kitchen with a smell far too inviting for the sour mood that hung in the air.
Like everything else, it was too homey. There were embroidered dish towels and a mismatch of patterned dishes. The stove looked expensive but antique, the old fashioned kind that always cost way more than you expected.
I reached for a mug but another hang beat me to it.
"Oh, did you want this one?" Lyra asked sweetly with a pretty smile on her already painted lips. "I just assumed something more plain would be more your speed, sorry."
My teeth clenched together as she blinked innocently at me but I knew she was far from naive.
When she had interrupted the moment between Dax and I the night before, I hadn't stayed long enough to hear what she said. My stomach was still reeling from his revelation, my brain cloudy from the summer haze of being so close to him.
Judging by the smile she had given me as I passed her, Lyra didn't need me to be around to hear. My retreat was all the victory she needed. She had Dax and I had a prison cell.
Talia looked up from where she sat at the kitchen island, chewing her toast with slow, exaggerated sarcasm. "She's quite fond of knives too. Are you going to pick one of those for her?"
I let Lyra have the mug. She could have her petty wins if it got me out of this cage any sooner.
As Lyra poured her coffee, I gave Talia a warning look but she just shrugged in response.
Dax walked in behind us, hair still damp from a shower. He paused only slightly, feeling the palpable tension. "Morning."
I filled another mug as Dax looked between Lyra's beaming smile and the frosty shroud I wore. He said nothing, only took the empty coffee pot to put another one on.
Coward.
I took a seat next to Talia, quietly thanking her as she pushed a plate of toast in front of me. Surrounded by the stench of Lyra's scent mingling with Dax, my stomach was too queasy to consider food. So instead, I cradled the mug and took small sips as the kitchen settled into an uneasy silence.
"It's so nice to have a day free of those meetings," Lyra said, her statement clearly directed towards Dax as her whole body turned into him. He hummed, nodding as he ate like a starved but well mannered man.
As Lyra spun a tale about an Alpha she had interacted with after the last meeting, pinpricks of heat burned into the side of my face.
I relented to the pressure of Dax's gaze only for it to fall from me to my full plate and then back to my eyes.
The gesture almost made me want to eat.
Instead, I held his eyes as I raised my mug and took a long, drawn out drag of coffee. His eyes narrowed.
"Are you not hungry, Kiera?" Lyra asked, breaking the staring contest between us. "I guess it makes sense now. I thought all arctic wolves must be on the smaller side. Well, until I met Talia. I guess all the things parents say about eating your breakfast to get big and strong has some truth."
There was a light, airiness to her words, a perfect blissful ignorance even though she knew exactly what she was saying.
I felt Talia bristle next to me, the subtle signs of a familiar chill brushing against my arms.
"Lyra." Dax's voice was quiet but commanding. She only blinked innocently in question.
I pushed away from the island. The chair screeched against the floor. "We're going for a run."
It wasn't a request and I didn't stick around long enough to let it become one. I took Talia's wrist and pulled her away before she could fulfill her fantasies of jumping across the table and scratching Lyra's eyes out.
If I couldn't do it then neither could she.
The guards appeared as soon as we were outside. Ghosts haunting us from six feet behind as we trudged to the woods to shift.
Freedom.
Everything was heightened as a wolf - the sounds, the smells, even the aching satisfaction of stretching my muscles.
Talia's snowy wolf bowed, her paws outstretched and her hind legs raised as her tail swished. I licked at her ear and took off.
We bounded through the forest, following well trodden trails in a game of chase.
I had never spent so little time in my wolf since before I arrived at the Council. Now, each opportunity was a treasure.
The guards stayed, dampening our fun with their shadowed presence.
Frustration swelled like a balloon, growing and growing until it threatened to pop in an icy burst of anger.
I poured it into my legs, pushing my feet further further, flying faster every time the guards gained ground.
They knew these woods, they had the advantage but they still couldn't keep up.
The others faded into the distance, even Talia falling away. I finally slowed, letting the balmy sun that peaked through the trees warm my sleek summer coat.
Finally, just one moment of peace. Just one moment where I could breathe again.
My ears twitched at the rustling leaves and cracking twigs and all too soon, it was over.
The guards reappeared with Talia in step. The grey wolf at the front let out a warning growl, an attempt at a warning growl that may have worked on a lesser wolf.
Instead, it was an insult.
My nose scrunched, teeth bared and back arched as I growled. The noise echoed through the trees, the dark sound carrying the weight of dominance.
Their ears flattened and their heads dropped low. The ones at the back even tucked their tails.
It was almost cute.
I huffed at Talia and turned away. She followed, our game over as the guards followed at a safe distance.
The walk back to the Alpha's house was quiet. The weight of our forced supervision was heavy, the chains invisible but biting. Any form of imprisonment was uncommon in Northern Circle. We were wolves, not dogs. We were meant to be free and one with the wild.
The house was quiet when we returned and the guards followed up inside, lingering downstairs as we found some peace from watchful eyes in Talia's room.
"I feel like I'm suffocating," I said, staring out the window to the now distant forest. "Everything smells like him. The whole house feels like a trap."
Talia looked over from her spot on the bed, her eyebrows pinched together. "That's what they do, Kiera. They make the walls feel so soft so you don't notice the bars."
I leaned my head against the window, the cool glass a comfort against my temple. "I can't tell what's real with him."
Admitting it felt pathetic. Asking for advice felt weak. But if I stayed silent this time, I risked losing my sanity.
"Some days, he looks at me like I'm a weapon balanced on a hairpin trigger. Other days, it's like he's...careful with me. He notices my eating, who does that?"
It had been so clear in the beginning once he made his rejection known and yet, since then, the back and forth had been dizzying.
"Don't wait for him to give you the truth," Talia answered, drawing my eyes away from the window to the soft expression she wore. "Make your own."
I nodded but I had no idea how to do that. Not here, not with him watching me like he wasn't sure whether or not to claim me.
The room felt too small, too warm. Too full of everything I was trying not to feel.
I bent my head towards hers, a silent thanks for her words. "I think I need some rest."
My head was pounding with a band pulled tight around my forehead, piercing the bridge of my nose.
I didn't even realise where my feet were taking me until I'd passed my door and the scent of amber soaked pine was overwhelming.
I slowed as a gentle laugh floated through the hallway. Too soft, too practiced.
My gut clenched, a warning I didn't want to listen to as I turned the corner.
Lyra's manicured hand was trailing down his chest and her other cradled his jaw. His hand hovered above her waist like he didn't know whether to push her away or pull her closer. She leaned up and her lips found his.
It wasn't a peck. It was deep and slow - deliberate.
His mouth answered hers, just enough to keep her hooked, more than enough to twist the knife in my gut.
When his eyes opened and found mine, he didn't pull away, not even when she pressed closer. She didn't even notice me, or maybe she did. Maybe that was the point.
The wolf inside me went still. Silent. Even those instincts couldn't help me now. My eyes were frozen to his as I stepped back, the steps slow and laboured until I turned and everything moved too fast.
"Kiera-"
I didn't stop at his voice.
The bond flared like a blade against my ribs, as though it was trying to stop me from walking away.
But I couldn't.
Not with the image of his lips on her still burning in my brain.
Whew, I need a moment after that! Right when things were looking like they were going to turn around...
He's either drowining or playing with fire... Do you think Dax wanted the kiss?
How would you have reacted if you were Kiera?