Chapter 7 #2
His touch is featherlight on my shoulder, but burns hotter than it should through the cotton of my shirt, like a brand.
I squeeze my eyes shut, not understanding how I both want to slink away so he’ll never touch me again and ask him to keep it there, reveling in the warmth.
It suddenly seems like forever since a man touched me.
Not that he’s touching me. He’s probably trying to figure out why I went berserk.
I turn, his hand dropping, and smile as best I’m able.
“Sorry,” I whisper. More like croak, actually. “The water.” I point to my chest, as if that explains it.
He nods, bewilderment still lingering. “Do you need anything?”
I shake my head. “Tell me what you think of the list.”
Giving me one last glance, he returns to the couch and picks up my list of fundraiser ideas. “The chili cookoff sounds cool. Honestly, all of these are great. I bet the kids in town would love this firefighter for a day one.”
“Maybe we could do a separate day for adults and kids.” Oh, good. My voice is back to normal. I return to the living room and take my seat in the armchair again. “I don’t know if there would be liability issues, though.”
He rubs his jaw, studying the paper. “Right. I’d have to ask Chief.”
He’d only called him Chief during the pancake breakfast, too. “You don’t use his first name?”
Frowning, he says, “I guess I never really thought about it. I’ve been calling him that since I was fifteen.”
“When you did community service?” I ask hesitantly. It’s the closest we’ve come to acknowledging what happened after the fire. Well, other than when I went on that tirade to Kyle in front of Nick.
“Yeah. He’s… Well, he’s always been more like a mentor to me than a regular boss.” He blows out a breath. “Maybe a little like a father figure, too. Not that I’d ever say that to him.”
I mime zipping my lips. “My lips are sealed.”
We talk more about the logistics of some of the ideas on the list and narrow down what we think will be the best contenders.
I use the time to consciously relax, reminding myself there’s no reason to be tense or nervous or any other of the weird ways my body manifests anxiety.
Nick has been nothing but kind and respectful since he got here.
And when I’m not caught up in my head, it’s actually nice talking to him.
I need to get over this unsettled feeling once and for all. Mind over matter.
“So for the chili cookoff,” he says, “is it the public entering? Or are the firefighters making the chili? Because we might have some issues if it’s the latter.”
I look up from where I’m making notes. “Why?”
“Only Chief can cook.”
“You can’t make chili?”
He gives me a deadpan look. “You saw how I made those pancakes.”
I cover my smile with the back of my hand. It was pretty bad.
“Do baking skills transfer over to cooking easily?” he asks.
I shrug. “Sort of. Baking is more about precise measurements and directions, but cooking is a lot looser. You do what feels right.”
His look conveys he has no idea what I’m talking about, and I make a split second decision.
“How about I teach you?”
Maybe what I need is exposure therapy. The more I hang around him, the less daunting it’ll be.
He appears taken aback for a moment, but quickly recovers. “Yeah. I’d love that.”
“We should probably make sure Chief Adkins is okay with a chili cookoff, though. And that he’d participate.
If we have at least two firefighters, that should be fine.
The rest of the entries can be the public.
Oh, and we could find a local band who might contribute their time, too…
” Ideas form in my mind, but I shut it down before I get carried away. “But first, approval.”
“I’ll talk to him about it this week.”
My phone buzzes on the coffee table and I pick it up, seeing a text from Jae.
“I’ll let you get back to your night,” Nick says, standing. “I think we got enough done for now.”
Oh, I wasn’t trying to rush him off by checking my phone.
“Yeah, sure,” I say, standing, too. “We’ll, um, meet up for chili soon.”
“Looking forward to it.” He smiles as he stuffs the list into his pocket, and there’s something so… genuine about it, it catches me off guard. The crinkles at the corners of his eyes, the relaxed stance, the way he looks so present.
I can’t remember Kyle ever looking at me like this.
Oh my God, I have to stop. That’s not what this is.
Ducking my head, I move to the front entryway and open the door for him. “See you.”
“Bye.”
His arm brushes mine as he exits, a tingle racing over me at the brief contact.
I shut the door firmly behind him and press my forehead against the worn wood. Good lord, I need to get it together.
My phone buzzes again and I pick it up, expecting it to be a follow-up text from Jae, but it’s not.
Kyle : You’re really hanging out with Nick? I thought you were kidding about that.
I close out of the text, not responding, and set my phone back on the table as another shiver washes over me, this time for an entirely different reason. How did he know Nick was over here? Did he drive by and see his truck? Are my neighbors spying on me and reporting stuff to him?
I run my hands down my arms, trying to will away the goosebumps. Why does Kyle even care who I’m spending time with? He cheated on me. He chose to do that. He doesn’t get a say in what I do with my life anymore.
I shut my eyes, thinking again about how clueless I was. How I didn’t see any signs of what was going on. How I might have stayed completely unaware of his extracurricular activities if Autumn hadn’t become pregnant.
How he left me for her.
I blow out a breath, hating this antsy feeling in my stomach, and check Jae’s text, grabbing onto the lifeline she sends me when she asks if I want to come over and eat pizza and watch a romcom.
Yes, that’s exactly what I need. Carbs and fictional men who always end up doing the right thing.
Two things that have yet to let me down.