Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
RACHEL
I follow Jae out, my pulse picking up as she gets in her car and I get in mine. This isn’t a confrontation with Kyle, per se, but it’s close enough.
We’d never had a big blow-up when we broke up. He said he was having a baby with Autumn and that he would have his stuff out of the house as soon as he could. And that was really it. No yelling. No theatrics. Just me sitting on the couch, numb and disbelieving until he got up and left.
Yes, we’d been drifting apart. He’d been working a lot of late nights, which I later realized was a ruse. But I thought it was simply a rough season of our relationship. Where things are shaky and you’re disagreeing a lot, but you eventually work through it and come out better on the other side.
Not have an affair and knock up someone else.
And then at the fire station, him acting like it’s all good between us. That we can be friendly .
He can fuck off, like Nick said. And he deserves a taste of his own medicine. To feel sick to his stomach that someone could hurt him like that.
Or rather, humiliate. If I’m being honest with myself, I was more humiliated than hurt. Not only that I had no clue, but that I wasn’t… enough for him in some way.
Is it because Autumn is younger? Prettier? Or some other trait I’m lacking?
I push the thought out of my mind as I turn on my street. Oh, crap. I forgot I’m supposed to tell Jae how romantic Nick is. What do I say? How do I act?
You know what? It’s going to be fine. Kyle doesn’t know we know about the doorbell. So it’s not like we can mess it up.
I stuff my keys in the bottom of my purse as I exit the car and shake my hands out.
It’ll be fine.
It’ll be fine.
I silently repeat the mantra to myself as I climb the porch steps, following Jae to the front door.
“How’d your date with Nick go yesterday?” Jae asks as I fumble around in my purse, pretending to search for my keys.
“It was great. Really romantic.” Okay, that sounded normal enough.
“Oooh, how so?”
Of course she’d ask me to elaborate. Should I say we went out somewhere? Wait. Kyle can check the camera. What was I doing last night?
Oh, that’s right. I stayed late at the bakery, prepping for today. Thank God.
“He made me dinner at his place,” I tell her. “Lit candles, got my favorite wine, made my favorite meal. The whole nine yards.” And all things Kyle could never put in the effort to do. “He’s so thoughtful and considerate.”
I pause, thinking about it. Nick is thoughtful and considerate. Helping me out at the bakery. Listening intently to me. Standing up for me to Kyle.
“Did you…” Jae trails off suggestively, a twinkle in her eye.
Whoa. We didn’t discuss anything about that.
“Jae.” I don’t have to act any for the blush to appear on my cheeks.
“How big is he?”
“Oh my God,” I half-sputter, half-laugh. I dig around in my purse for real now, but my keys seem to have vanished. “I’m not answering that.”
“Okay, tell me when to stop.” She holds her hands together, then slowly widens the gap between them. “This big?” She spreads her hands wider. “This big?” She keeps increasing the distance. “No, there’s no way he could be this big. That’s physically impossible.”
I grab her hands to make her quit, suppressing a laugh. She doesn’t need any encouragement.
“Is he bigger than Kyle?”
My mouth drops open. I can’t believe she went there. By the smirk on her face, she’s loving this line of questioning, though.
Should I play along and be that mean? If I say yes, it could very well haunt him for the rest of his life.
But it only takes me a moment of remembering what he did to me to go there, too. “He’s not only bigger, but he knows how to use it better, too.”
My hand finally closes around my key, and I jam it into the lock, ignoring Jae’s guffaw. Once we’re inside, laughter erupts from both of us. I can’t believe I said that.
“You’re a terrible influence,” I say in between spurts of deep belly laughs. I can’t remember the last time I laughed like this. It feels good.
“No, that was amazing.” She wipes at her eyes. “I pray he saw that.”
I check my phone, but there are no outraged texts. Then again, he’d have to admit he’s spying on us if he knew about me and Jae’s conversation.
I hold my hands to my cheeks, my face burning with heat. I’m half-filled with exhilaration at my daring, half-filled with a dawning sense of chagrin. Nick would be mortified to hear how I spoke about him.
“You can’t tell Nick about this,” I whisper to Jae, as if he can overhear me. “I just implied I not only slept with him, but was measuring his dick, too.”
She shakes her head, looking at me like I’m a sweet summer child. “Trust me, I don’t think he’ll mind.”
“You wouldn’t mind if some rando told other people they slept with you?”
She waves me off. “First of all, you’re not a rando. Second of all, it’s different for guys. You were complimenting his manhood. Not that he needs it. The whole hot firefighter thing is working for him.”
I’m tempted to clutch my non-existent pearls. “You’re married. You shouldn’t call other guys hot.”
She rolls her eyes. “I still have eyes. And I’m not saying I’m lusting after him. It’s an objective observation. Don’t you think he’s hot?”
I really do put my hand to my throat. I’m not answering that. Can’t answer it. I’m not even thinking about it. “Jae…”
She squints at me. “How do we feel about him again? Are we past the whole burning down the bakery thing?”
“Yeah, I’m past that.” Her first question is a little tougher, though. How do I feel about him? “He’s… a nice guy.”
She seems unimpressed with my answer. “Nice like he’s so far in the friend zone there’s no chance of him escaping? Or nice like you’re still considering your options?”
I throw a couch pillow at her for the second time tonight. “I’m not considering anything because I’m not dating anyone.” Not after what happened with Kyle. How could I ever trust someone again?
“Okay, okay.” She holds her hands up in a don’t shoot gesture. “But you guys are, what? Friendly with each other now?”
“Yeah, I guess. Why?”
Her evil smile unfurls across her lips. “Because I have a phase two to my plan.”
Oh, God. What is it now? “How many phases are there?”
“Well, I just thought of it, so only two. But I’ll leave it open-ended in case I think of more.”
“And it involves Nick?” She wouldn’t have asked if we were friendly, otherwise.
She nods, getting excited again. “We’ll do another doorbell prank, but this time with him.”
“You’ll be there?”
“No, only you and him.”
My hands go sweaty.
“You said you’re teaching him to make chili, right?
” she continues. “You’ll meet up with him beforehand and both come back to your house, like you’re coming home from a date.
Nick will stand with his back close to the camera, so he blocks what you’re doing, but it still picks up what you’re saying. ”
“Okay…” It doesn’t seem so bad so far.
“And you’ll be all like Nick, stop, the neighbors are going to see .” She puts on a high-pitched coquettish voice, as if that’s what I sound like.
My mouth drops open. “What, like he’s groping me?”
“Not groping. Just handsy. And he’s not actually touching you. But Kyle won’t be able to tell that from the way Nick’s blocking the camera. And you’re giggling like you like it.”
Oh my God, she’s serious about this. “I don’t giggle.”
Her lips twist. “You’re right, you don’t. Axe the giggling. But he’ll say something like I can’t keep my hands off you . And you’re all we have all night for that .”
I cover my face, dying from secondhand embarrassment. “I’m not doing any of that.”
“Oh, come on.” She pulls my hands away from my face. “It’ll drive Kyle crazy.”
I point toward the front door. “We already pulled off the prank. We’re done. We did it. Congratulations to us.”
“But phase two is even better. You’re a catch and Kyle deserves to see what he’s missing.”
“I’m not trying to exact revenge here. I’m not spiteful.”
“Yes, you are. And I’m here for it. Spite is fun.
Remember that time our neighbor played loud music all night when you were trying to study for an exam, so you aimed your stereo speakers at their wall at six a.m. to get back at them?
Or when you reported Brittany for having a dog in her room because she kept hogging the washers and dryers all day? ”
My lips compress. Damn it. “That was college. I’ve matured since then.”
“No, you haven’t. And I loved when you did those things.
Sometimes you have to fight bad behavior with bad behavior.
They won’t understand they did anything wrong if you take the high road.
” She motions toward herself. “Come on. Take the low road with me. Think of all the shit Kyle put you through. Don’t you want to get back at him in some tiny way?
This is the first time he’s seemed affected by your breakup. You have to take advantage of it.”
Her impassioned speech stirs something within me. “I… I’ll bring it up to Nick and see what he says.”
She folds her fingers together in a scarily accurate imitation of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons . “Excellent.”
“You’re diabolical,” I tell her. “Evil overlord in the making.”
She shrugs, looking pleased, even though it wasn’t a compliment. “It’s a gift.”
She makes me pinky-swear I’ll tell her the moment Kyle texts me, then leaves.
If he even tells me, I think. I doubt he’ll admit to spying.
I mess around on the video doorbell app for a while and do some googling, but can’t find anything that’ll tell me if the software logs when a user watches footage. Guess it’s not a feature, though it’d be helpful in my case.
Setting my phone down, I rest my head against the couch cushions, going over everything that happened. What has Jae gotten me into? I swear I should’ve learned my lesson by now with her.
Even so, I think back to that moment of euphoria as Jae and I had busted up laughing at what I had said comparing Nick’s dick to Kyle’s. How I’d felt on top of the world, victorious against a fight I hadn’t realized I wanted to be a part of.
In a way, it’s like Kyle “won” our breakup. He was the one who initiated it and moved on with someone else right away. Now he’s seemingly living his best life with a happy family on the way, unaffected by what he put me through.
It’s me who’s been in a holding pattern, having to passively accept everything. Me doubting myself when it comes to trusting anyone new.
What he’s done… it deserves some spite. Maybe Jae is rubbing off on me more than I thought.
Nick said he was one hundred percent on board with our other prank, but will he be with this?
And if he is, will I actually go through with it?