Chapter 29 #2
“The only reason I’m not beating the living shit out of you right now is because it would ruin this event that Rachel’s put a lot of time and effort into. But you don’t talk about her like that. Ever. Get the fuck out of here.”
A shiver runs through me, not out of fear, but something fiercer. Nick’s defense. His protection. His loyalty. With him standing in front of me, not a single thing in this world could hurt me.
I move slightly, so I can see Kyle. He falters, his mouth opening and closing like he isn’t sure if he should push it. Even so, there’s a defiance in his gaze that makes me uneasy.
For one terrifying second, I’m afraid Nick might lose the tight control vibrating through him, his anger practically humming off of him. I place a hand on his waist, the same as he did to me earlier, and he keeps himself in check.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Kyle rolls his eyes and leaves. Nick and I both watch him walk across the lawn and toward the street, disappearing out of sight down the sidewalk.
Nick turns to me, his jaw still tight, shoulders rock hard with tension.
“Nick—”
“Not here.” He takes my hand, more gently than I thought him capable of at the moment, and leads me through the crowd to the fire station.
Inside, one of the other firefighters throws us a questioning look, but stays silent as Nick gives him a swift shake of the head. We keep walking and end up in a small room with bunk beds. This must be where they rest when on shift.
I perch on the edge of a bed, watching Nick as he paces the cramped area, back and forth. Agitation pours off of him as he runs his hands through his hair, his boots hitting the floor with sharp, purposeful steps.
He finally stops, hands on his hips, nostrils flaring. “Why was Kyle bothering you?”
I blink up at him, my mouth going dry at his hard tone, but before I can respond, he crouches in front of me, blowing out a breath.
“That came out harsher than I meant it to. I’m just trying to figure out why he’s starting shit.”
I tell him about running into Autumn and how Kyle told on himself, but don’t get to where he approached me alone a second time before Nick stops me, his brow furrowed.
“What do you mean, he’s trying to get back together with you?”
My throat tightens with a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. It’s not like I was lying to Nick about it. I just… never told him.
“I didn’t want to worry you,” I whisper through numb lips, the excuse sounding hollow as soon as I say it.
Nick doesn’t appear angry, but more… disappointed. The weight of it settles with a clunk in my chest. I’d almost rather him be mad.
“Tell me what happened,” he says, too evenly for me to believe he’s actually neutral about this.
I trip over the words as I explain about unexpectedly running into Kyle outside the bistro, and I can see the moment he connects the dots. That he had just run out of our first date, leaving me alone to fend off Kyle, even if it’d been an emergency.
I rush through and move onto what happened at the bakery, his expression darkening. He’s silent when I finish, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he looks away, collecting himself.
“I…” I clear my throat. “I wasn’t purposely keeping it from you. I thought I had it handled.”
Who knows? Maybe it wouldn’t have escalated like this if I hadn’t run into Autumn.
“Rachel.” He takes my hands in his. “I want to help you handle these kinds of things. I want you to lean on me.”
I nod, thinking back to when he told me in my kitchen he wanted to be someone I can depend on. My throat goes thick again with emotion, guilt swamping me. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry,” he says softly. The anger and disappointment are gone, but I’m unsure what’s left in their wake. He wouldn’t give up on me, would he?
“I guess I’m used to handling my problems on my own,” I admit. “But I do want to lean on you. I have with other things. Just not with this. Kyle is a touchy subject and I…” I shrug helplessly. “I’d already told him no. I thought that was the end of it.”
He squeezes my hands. “I think he got the message today.”
A nervous chuckle escapes me. “You were kind of scary.”
His brow knits in concern, so I clarify, “To him. Not to me. I was glad to have you on my side. To have you defend me.”
His hand moves to cup the back of his neck. “I’ll always protect you. Even if it’s messy or you think it’s trivial, I want to be there for all of it. I’m not going anywhere.”
His earnestness nearly undoes me, tears touching my eyes. I nod, unable to speak, and let him wrap me in an embrace. I’m pretty sure I wet the front of his shirt, but he doesn’t mention it as he rubs my back in comfort.
I don’t deserve this man. Honestly.
I pull away, knowing we have to return to the cookoff. “Your chili is probably ready.”
He nods, only looking at me briefly before leading the way back out. I think we resolved things, but I can’t help but feel a lingering… something. Not an accusation, but a question. Why didn’t I tell him? He never outright asked that, but it still feels unspoken.
Yes, I told him I didn’t want to worry him. That I thought I had it handled. That I’m used to solving my problems myself. All those things are true. But is there something going on unconsciously, too? Something keeping me from fully confiding in him?
Am I still hung up on trusting a man? Even someone as wonderful as Nick?
I shake my head, chastising myself. Just because Nick and I are dating now doesn’t mean all my baggage magically disappeared. Some things take time.
Besides, I have bigger issues to worry about at the moment. Like making sure the rest of this cookoff goes to plan.