Chapter 39 Ezryn
Ezryn
Ahaze covers my vision, distorts my hearing, and fills my head.
Coughing, I push a sheet of metal off my body and stagger to stand.
My legs ache, and blood runs down my temple, but nothing seems broken.
Though my ankle twinges, I’m able to put weight on it.
There’s a sting in my left bicep, and I look down to see a piece of wood sticking from the muscle.
With a grunt, I tear it out, the hot flash of pain clearing some of the fog from my mind.
A moment ago, we’d been in the air. I was in command of the aerial assault.
The ship had endured a relentless assault.
Arrows and spears clogged the propellers, and the sails were ripped with holes.
It had taken everything I’d had to keep the wheel steady.
Caspian had been running back and forth across the deck, shooting briars down to the bridge to rescue as many overwhelmed Deep Guard as he could.
We were sinking with the weight. Flocks of snowy owls coalesced with the Kryodian Riders flying at our flanks.
My crew was a blur of movement, both manning the rigs and volleying arrows down into the fray.
So many lives under my command. It was my job to protect them.
Once it became clear Voidseal was overrun, the ship was more than just an offensive vehicle. It was the only escape for my crew and those who had missed Rosalina’s magic.
With every soldier Caspian pulled up from the bridge, more lives fell under my responsibility. We’d been searching for Rose, Kel, Farron, and Dayton. This may have been Kel’s operation, but I was making a call. Retreat before it was too late.
I had to protect them.
We’d just caught sight of Rosalina and Kel when something hit the ship with the force of a battering ram. I’d tried to hold the wheel but—
There’d been the rush of air. The scream of wood and metal. People yelling. Yells cut short. Pain and darkness and a fog in my head so thick I’m not sure I’ll ever get out.
I dig my palms into my eyes, then blink open, trying to find my bearings.
The ship is in ruins around me. Smoke drifts up into the sky. The wooden beams and sheets of metal remind me of discarded bones from a corpse long picked clean. I step forward, and something squishes beneath my boot.
I look down. My boot is stuck in the caved-in chest of one of my crew. It’s Darkirk, a former member of the Queen’s Army who joined us at Solonius’s Spine. He’d been the first to volunteer to man Flutterwing when we sailed out from Summer.
I yank my foot and stagger back. Turning in a circle, I spy them now, scattered through the ruins of the ship. The strewn bodies of my crew.
Dead. They’re all dead. Sheshae, a gladiator who wanted to see Winter. Amir, one of Frostfang’s best archers. Raylor, who was always talking about his precious nephew. Every one under my command, looking like rotten fish on the banks of a dammed river.
I was supposed to protect them.
Clambering over the ruins, I stare down the eastward side of the bridge. Thankfully, the underfae ignore the crash. They assume we’re all dead. They’re mostly right. Now, their army swarms Irahn’s bridge house.
The fog in my head turns to a chorus of my rapid breath and thundering heart. I’ve commanded hundreds of battles. I’m no stranger to death. But we were not prepared for this.
I was supposed to protect them.
Are Kel and Rosalina in the middle of that swarm? Farron and Dayton? And Cas—
Cas.
Where is Cas?
He was part of my crew. Where is he? Where is he?
I spin in a circle, then run in no direction in particular, scrambling over the ruins, screaming his name. Nearby lies wreckage of the propeller, silhouetted by a green glow. I approach, then with what strength I have left in me, I grab the propeller and hurl it to the side.
There’s a small hollow in the rubble. Caspian is on all fours, debris boxing him in on all sides. His body shakes.
“Cas.” I try to clasp his shoulder—
“Get away from me!” Caspian bellows, turning to me with eyes blaring a phantasmal green.
“Cas!” I stumble backward and reach for my sword.
“I–I’m losing control of it, Ez. I can’t h-hold back much longer. The Green Flame is clawing its way out of me.”
My sword trembles in my hand. “What are you talking about?”
Caspian sinks to his heels and digs his hands through his hair. “Everyone’s in danger. We have to help them. We have to—”
“Protect them,” I finish. “This Green Flame… You used it before in Spring, against Wrenley’s Dreadknights. You controlled it then.”
“Don’t tempt me, Ezryn!” Caspian roars, knuckles turning white. “H-he’s too strong now. If he gets out…everyone will die. Do you hear me? Not just the underfae. Everyone.”
My throat goes dry. I’ve never heard such fear in someone’s voice. Caspian’s terrified…
Of himself.
“What do you need me to do?”
He turns to me, his pupils shaking. “You need to stop me.”
I don’t give myself time to think or the Green Flame a moment more to seize Caspian. I pull back the hilt of my sword and slam it against his temple. The green fades from his eyes as they roll up to white. He collapses to the ground.
“Sorry, but honestly, I’ve always kind of wanted to do that.” Sheathing my blade, I heave his unconscious body over my shoulder.
Where are the others? The mast of the ship juts up from a pile of rubble. Careful steps carry me through the scattered corpses of my crew as I weave toward it. I lean Caspian against the mast, then shimmy up to the top.
With horror, I gaze at the carnage across Voidseal Bridge.
Far on the eastern side, past the swarm at the bridge house, I catch sight of a small flying contraption.
There’s a burst of fire blazing around him, but Perth Quellos holds up his arm, adorned with a huge metal gauntlet.
A blast of energy shoots out, slamming into the ball of fire, blowing it back onto the bridge. The fire dims, revealing Farron.
I jerk my eyes farther down the bridge. There’s a spark of blue lightning, and then a scream carries out, even across the din.
Dayton. He’s tangled in a net of electricity while a horned woman holding a spear stands above him, laughing.
She grabs the ropes and begins hauling him toward the railing. To do what? Throw him off?
I cast my gaze to the swarm by the bridge house. At its base, Rosalina has collapsed to the stone. And Kel, weaponless, faces a huge, horned underfae.
I can’t suck in a breath. Where do I go? To Farron, before Quellos sears a hole in his head? To Dayton, stuck in a net like a fish caught at sea? To Rosalina and Kel, trapped in the heart of the swarm? Or stay with Caspian, before the Green Flame rouses him and takes him once and for all?
Where do I go? How do I fix this?
I was supposed to protect them.
But I can’t. I can’t.
So are you going to stand here and do nothing?
What? I turn in a circle. My feet slip out from under me, and I collapse to the debris.
Are you going to moan to yourself that you can’t do anything? Going to keep believing that lie?
There’s a voice in my head. One I haven’t heard in so long. One that used to speak to me from the depths of my darkness. But I silenced that voice—
Because you didn’t want to hear what I had to say.
It was Kairyn’s voice, wasn’t it?
No. No, it was never Kairyn’s voice.
It was mine.
You are stronger than you think. Do your job, Ezryn. Protect them!
“I–I can’t—”
Rise up, the inner voice says. You will not break!
“I will not break,” I echo.
You will not break!
“Rise up.” I push myself to my feet and stare at Rosalina. “I will not break.”
I have to protect them. There’s no other choice, and that means there’s no option for me to fail.
I choose this life with her. With them. Whatever it takes.
“I will not break.” The inner voice doesn’t respond, but in the back of my mind, I hear the powerful howl of a wolf.