Chapter 50 Rosalina
Rosalina
Idig my nails into my palms and try to steady my throbbing heartbeat as I storm down the hallway toward Keldarion’s bedchamber. I need to be clearheaded while talking to him instead of the rabid dog I feel like right now. But how can I be calm?
My compassion nearly killed Dayton, so I tried ruthlessness. Ruthlessness destroyed Voidseal Chasm, so I’ve opted for restraint. And this is what restraint gets me. Astrid, almost consumed by her curse.
So what kind of leader will I be?
The answer eludes me.
All I know is Kel and I can’t wait for Sira’s death to break his curse. Kel needs to trust Caspian now. And if that means laying out all my cards in order for him to do it, then so be it.
I don’t bother knocking, instead whipping open the door.
An icy chill hits me. I shiver, clutching my arms, the cold cutting right through the thin robe I’m wearing over my nightgown.
My bare feet skid over ice, and the early morning light causes the frost crawling over the floor and furniture to glitter.
He must have been crazed during the night. I have to hurry. Marigold is rousing Ez, Dayton, and Farron so we can go to Castletree today. Though I’m terrified to see what the Winter wing looks like now, I know we need to check on the rest of the staff.
Kel is fast asleep, lying on his back, the blankets pushed low to his hips.
I let loose a sigh of relief. He was able to return to fae form at least. Kel is bare-chested, his muscles on clear display as one hand is lazily thrown behind his head on the pillow, the other off to the side.
His long, white hair is a mess around his face, and despite the icy chaos in the room, he looks peaceful in sleep.
My breath catches in my throat. He’s so damn beautiful when he’s asleep.
I mean, he’s so damn beautiful when he’s angry, but I see that all the time. This is such a nice change.
I bite my nails into my palm again. His stupid gorgeous face will not distract me. Standing at the side of his bed, I put my hands on my hips and glare down at him. “Kel, wake up. We need to talk.”
He lets out a sleepy sigh.
“Kel, I’m serious. Get up.”
I think he’s still asleep when he shoots out a hand, grabs my nightdress, and pulls me down to the bed. I yelp as he engulfs me, tugging me into his body.
“Kel,” I murmur, trying to put as much authority as I can in my voice, though it’s hard when I’m nuzzling his neck and inhaling that addictive smell of cranberry and pine.
His arms tighten around me, then he rolls me on top of him. “This is a nice surprise,” he murmurs, sounding still half-asleep, eyes closed.
I splay my fingers over the steel of his chest. It’s like he’s carved of marble. “I need to talk to you.”
“Hmm. Later.” He eases my head down, then kisses my forehead.
“Kel, listen—”
“After breakfast,” he mumbles, stifling a yawn.
“It’s about Caspian.”
In one swift movement, Kel flips our position so he’s over me and I’m crushed beneath his weight, the blanket a tangle between us. He nuzzles into my chest, voice gravelly with sleep. “I don’t want to talk about Caspian right now.”
That simmering heat flares up within me. “It’s about Caspian and the mate bond.”
Kel groans, then rolls off me, digging his palms into his eyes. Well, that seemed to wake him up. “We’ve talked about this, Rosalina. We’re not doing anything until Sira is dead.”
“That plan won’t work anymore, Kel. You saw her on the bridge. She’s not exactly easy to kill. She runs away whenever we get the upper hand—”
As soon as I mention the bridge, Kel’s expression shifts, hardening to that icy frown.
“My uncle feared the chasm would be a gateway for Sira’s abysmal creations.
But it was worse than we ever thought. These weren’t idiot ogres or goblins climbing up the walls.
She allied herself with a group of fae no one knew existed until now.
They’re smart, they’re strong, and they’re merciless.
” Kel stares straight ahead, eyes blazing.
“Caspian’s chasm made that attack possible.
The creation of the chasm made my uncle’s death an inevitability. ”
I blow out a breath, my frustration ready to rip out of me. As much empathy as I have for Kel’s grief, he’s so damn stubborn. I can’t stop myself from saying lowly, “I’m pretty sure you played a role in the chasm’s creation too, Kel.”
He stands, snatching a pair of pants and shirt from the floor and yanking them on. “Did you come to berate me, Rosalina?”
“This isn’t about you, Kel. It’s not about me either. It’s about your people. Astrid couldn’t turn back this morning. She was stuck in her hare form, like Konreth. The staff are suffering. Castletree is weak. We have to do something!”
“So you’d become Caspian’s thrall to save them, is that right? You may be willing to sacrifice yourself, but I won’t, Rosalina.” His eyes blaze with blue fire, and his voice lowers. “Don’t you see? You’re asking me to give up my mate. I won’t do it. You wouldn’t either.”
I take a deep breath. There’s no other choice. He’ll never understand that Cas won’t hurt me otherwise. “Kel, the truth is—” The words stick in my throat. What will he do when he finds out? Send Caspian away? Banish him from Winter again?
A light knock sounds. Kel stalks over to the door and rips it open.
If there was an award for the worst timing, Caspian would win it.
He’s leaning in the doorway, his most pleasant smirk plastered on his face, holding a breakfast tray.
“Good morning.” He flicks his purple gaze to me.
“Rosalina. What a lovely surprise. Astrid didn’t seem quite herself, so I thought I’d help out and deliver breakfast.”
Kel shoves past him, knocking Caspian in the shoulder. Tea splatters from the two cups, and a piece of toast falls to the ground, butter side down. A hurt expression flickers on Cas’s face.
I chase after Kel, ducking past Caspian and following him down the hall. “You can’t keep running from your problems, Kel. Unlike your realm, you can’t hide away from me!”
“I know,” he growls. “I’ve tried!”
Cas sets his tray down, then puts his hands in his pockets, slinking after us. “Why do I have the feeling I’m the subject of conversation yet again?”
Neither Kel nor I say anything, but we stop walking. I cross my arms and raise my chin, too indignant to look at Kel. He mimics my position exactly.
Cas sighs. “You know, Keldarion, it’s exhausting to risk my life to save you, your soldiers, your friends, and your mate and not even get a thank-you.”
Kel throws his hands in the air. “What did I do to wake up and be bombarded by you two?” He gives Caspian a vicious glare. “Next time, don’t bother coming. Stars know you probably knew about that underfae army all along.”
“That’s not true,” I say. “And you know it.”
“It’s okay, Rosalina.” Caspian shakes his head. “I’m not sure what I expected. Keldarion can’t touch his real enemies, so he has to keep me as his villain. I suppose I’m a masochist, because I’m still here.”
A growl sounds in the back of Kel’s throat. “I am the Sworn Protector of the Realms, and you are the Prince of Thorns. You don’t get to erase decades of torment against the realms because you decided you’d rather be on our side for one battle.”
“The Prince of Thorns,” Caspian repeats quietly.
His face drops, becoming expressionless.
Cold. A look I haven’t seen since over a year ago when he entered the solstice ball we held in Winter.
“And here I was, trying so hard to be something else. But I suppose we can’t change, can we?
I hate to say it, but you’re not exactly the Sworn Protector of the Realms, are you, Kel?
Because doesn’t the Sworn Protector of the Realms need a sword? ”
Kel takes a step back.
“Oh, that’s right.” Caspian’s lips curl into a sneer. “You had the Sword of the Protector, and it broke under your watch. Not very protective, were you?”
The only sound is a sharp inhale through Kel’s nose. His nostrils flare, and I don’t remember the last time he blinked.
I flash Caspian a hard look. “Enough, both of you. Kel, I need to tell you something. We need to tell you something.”
Caspian raises his brow. I guess I should warn him, but it’s too late now.
It rushes out of me, fireworks made of words. “Caspian and I are mates.”
Silence rings between us. Kel looks as if he’s turned to ice. I hold my breath, afraid any sound will cause an avalanche to surge down the hallway.
When Kel still doesn’t move—or blink or breathe—I turn to Caspian. I expect him to be either giving Kel his smuggest grin or trying to make a getaway, but he’s staring at me, a soft smile on his lips.
You’re not afraid of this, he murmurs in my mind.
I return his gaze. Never have been.
A strange sound breaks the silence. A barking laugh.
Kel throws back his head and howls with laughter.
But when he stops, his gaze is anything but mirthful.
“And here I was, thinking I’d experienced the depths of your manipulation.
” He surges forward, grabbing Cas by the lapels and shoving him up against the wall.
“What did you do? Plant memories in her mind? Infect her dreams? Make a bargain?”
“Kel, stop.” I grab his arm and yank him away from Cas. “The bond between Caspian and me is real. You don’t have to approve of it, but it’s the truth. And because of that, I know Cas will never hurt me.”
“You still don’t understand,” Kel snarls. “This is what he does. He has ways to manipulate your feelings and make it feel like love.”
Caspian assumes a bored expression and straightens his shirt. “Educate me, Keldarion. In what ways am I so gifted?”
Kel says nothing, but his eyes blaze with pain. He holds up his wrist, revealing the frosted thorn bracelet.
Caspian flicks his gaze up, staring at the bracelet. His hand wraps around his own wrist.
“This isn’t a trick,” I snarl and clutch my chest. “And don’t you dare tell me what I feel, Kel. I know the bond is real. I feel it like a living thing inside me. And it is as bright and alive as the one that burns for you.”
Kel’s lip curls, but there’s a terrifying stillness in his stance. “This changes nothing. Even if it’s real and a cruel twist of fate, mates or not, you’re still not safe with him. He cannot love.”
“Oh, I love.” Caspian’s voice darkens. “I loved watching your realm turn against you. Do you know how satisfying it was to see you brought down to your knees by their judgments and their scorn? For once, the great hero of Winter understood what it was like. Oh, and seeing you waste away and ruin yourself without me, Kel…sweet as fucking ambrosia.”
I shove Caspian on the shoulder. “Shut up. You’re not helping.”
“Why should I bother?” he snaps, venomous gaze on Kel. “Hate me. Fuck me. Scorn me. Tempt me. It’s always been the same. I’m as delusional as always for expecting any different.”
Kel growls low in his throat. “I’m the delusional one, wishing the same thing over and over. That you could be the person you made me believe you were.”
Cas opens his mouth, but I step between them, feeling as if my blood might boil over. “I’m sick of listening to how easy it is for you to be so cruel to each other!” I point a condemning finger first at Kel, then at Cas. “I’m going to Castletree. Figure it out. Or maybe I won’t come back.”