Chapter 63 Caspian
Caspian
Inever knew I was a coward. It’s a humbling thing to discover, to be sure.
I suppose when I look back, the evidence was there all along.
I tormented Kel because I was too afraid to let him go.
Protected Birdy because I couldn’t imagine living without her.
And I obeyed my mother because I was so lost in fear, I couldn’t fathom another way out.
But here I am, hiding in the dark, because whatever glimpse of hope I’d fooled myself into believing was there is awash in Sira’s shadows.
If I’m to be a coward, I might as well be a smart coward and leave.
I’ll send a thatch of thorns beneath the net, grab my friends, and briar us all away.
Rosalina will be mad as a hissing cat, but what’s the alternative?
Wait to die? There can be no victory against an enemy who views the entire world as collateral.
But I’m stuck still, buried in shadow and pushed tight to the rock, staring out at the bridge. Everything is a blur—Kairyn’s contorting body as he was altered, the net sweeping over my friends. The only thing clear in my vision is her.
My mother, the glowing vial held tight in her hand, a disgusted look on her face as she stares down at Kairyn.
Even she can’t stand her own creations.
Sweat drips into my eyes. How can my friends blame me for running?
I’ve spent my entire life tiptoeing around her, knowing at any moment, she could deem my steps too loud.
And if that was her judgment, I would pay body, mind, and soul.
I have been broken too many times to remember where all the fractures are.
And if she catches me after leaving her for them…
The one thing I admire about my mother is her ingenuity.
I can scarcely imagine the depths of the torment that awaits.
Death would be a kindness. No. Sira longs to create, and when she cannot create, she destroys.
She will sever any last threads of resolve or sanity I have left before she lets me out of her clutches: through death or otherwise.
I need to briar us away before I lose the chance. I take a deep breath and dig my hands in my pockets to ground my body—
But my hand touches something in my pocket.
A little wooden camel.
“Trust yourself to find the way. When the path is lost, the journey begins.”
That’s not fucking fair, Anya, I think. Neither of us had any idea of what was coming. If I stray from my path for even a moment…
We didn’t know what we stood to lose. What I still stand to lose.
I stare at Rosalina. Though she’s trapped in the net, her gaze sears, jaw firm. There’s no loss of hope, no trembling of will. She won’t stop. And if I force her out of this fight because of my fear, then I’m no better than Kel, refusing to break his bargain.
Rosalina is hope.
And that’s worth fighting for.
A blast of heat hits me as I step out from the passageway and onto the bridge.
The convection of the lava blows back my hair and stings my eyes, but I don’t blink.
People dubbed me the Prince of Thorns. The surface realms have cowered and fled at the mere mention of my name. I have ripped a hole in the world.
Let Sira remember what her son is capable of.
Shadows and briars twine together as they surge up at my command, ensconcing me in a calamity of darkness. My lip curls back as I train my eyes on her and only her. “Sira!”
Sira’s dark gaze flicks toward me. For less than a moment, a series of emotions plays across her face. Relief. Wrath. Satisfaction. Fear.
“My darling son, finally returned to me. I do hope you enjoyed your little escapade. I suppose you realized how positively exhausting it is to face defeat at every turn.” Sira tucks the vial into her dress pocket, snaps her fingers, and points to the space next to her.
“Enough of this farce. Return to my side, and all will be forgiven.”
The word is a dark breath: “No.”
“Come to me,” she says lowly.
“No!” I yell, a command, a prayer, a howl at the moon.
The only show of emotion on her face is the single line forming between her brows. One I know terribly well. “Come. To. Me.”
My shadows and thorns swirl together like a rolling fog through a wood, twisting into shapes until a blade emerges in my hand, one made of briars black as pitch. “I won’t answer to you again. You have no power over me. I will submit no longer.”
“Cas,” I hear Kel breathe from within the net.
“Shall I deal with him for you?” Faustrius asks.
Sira waves him, Quellos, and the whip-wielding underfae down.
“No. I shall remind my son of his manners.” Shadows curl under her feet, rising like a tide.
“What a funny little boy you are. You’ve always been petulant.
Lazy even, throwing parties and dallying with anything that breathed.
I ignored these wastes of your talent because I knew one thing above all. ”
“What was that?” I snarl.
She smiles, though it can hardly be called that. More like a baring of fangs. “You love your family above all, Caspian.”
I look to the net, to Rose, Kel, Farron, Ez, and Dayton trapped within. Then up to Sira. Shadows flare across my blade as I stand in attack position. “You’re right about that. There’s nothing you can do to me now. She was braver than I was. She’s escaped you.”
“She?” Sira twirls shadows around her hands as if winding ribbon. “You’re talking about that little wretch Wrenley? Why do you care so much? She’s not your real sister!”
“She’s more my family than you ever were.”
“I am your mother,” she hisses.
I step forward. “A meaningless word. You wanted a legacy? Children? You won’t have one. I’ll die, Wrenley will die, before we serve you again.”
“How dare you speak to me like this?” Sira’s voice cracks, and she screeches as if the words have any power over me: “I am your mother!”
“It’s just a word. It’s not love.” My gaze drifts to the net.
At one point, every single person in that net wanted to kill me.
Well, everyone except Rosie, though I think she’s fancied slugging me on occasion.
Through them, I learned things deemed impossible in the Below. Things like forgiveness. Compassion.
Redemption.
“I know who my real family is. And I’ll protect them from you at all costs,” I say.
Silence bellows through the chamber. There’s only the belch of lava below. Sira’s shadows stop curling. Her dark eyes fill with tears. She doesn’t wipe them away as they stream down her face.
Her tears are as dangerous as any dagger.
“My sweet boy, you think these surface-born are your family? Keldarion betrayed you. The rest let you be exiled and humiliated. And the girl?” She spits the last word.
“She has Aurelia’s blood. I thought Aurelia was my friend too once.
But she’ll grow jealous of your power. They all will.
They’ll resent you for what you can do. You’ll have to kill them before the end, sweet boy.
And when you do, you’ll be glad for it.”
“Never!” I can’t take her poison anymore. She knows the darkness I see in my mind. The Green Flame swallowing Rosie, Kel, the rest. Me standing in a field of silent skeletons that once laughed with me. I won’t let the poison win.
Briars crack out of the stone, propelling me. With a downward swing, I slice through the netting, then surge at Sira.
My friends erupt like a stampede. Ezryn sprints to Kairyn, heaving his arms under the massive passed-out man and pulling him back toward the passageway. Dayton and Rosie round on Faustrius. Golden briars pierce through the stone, hovering above him, snakes ready to strike.
“We don’t have to do this,” Rosalina says lowly. “We can work together.”
Faustrius raises his giant black sword. “Our fate has been written since we fell from the stars.”
Flames lick Farron’s heels as he runs at an incredible speed toward Perth Quellos. Aquila throws her spear, which tangles in his legs, tripping him.
Farron cries out, “Kill him, Kel! Don’t let him get away! Kill him!”
Frost crackles in the heat as two massive ice spears appear in both of Kel’s hands. “This has been a long time coming, Quellos.”
Quellos dons a large metal gauntlet. “Indeed it has, Keldarion. The only thing you’ve ever wanted all these years is to make your father proud. But now I’ll be the one making him proud by ridding him of his pathetic waste of an heir!”
They all need my help. Kairyn’s too big for Ezryn to carry; he has to drag him inch by inch.
Faustrius easily severs Rosie’s vines. Even Dayton’s beams of water barely hold him back.
Farron’s grappling with Aquila, and I’ve seen enough of Quellos’s experiments to know whatever he’s got will catch Kel off guard.
But I can’t stop.
I have to end this.
My briars shoot me into the air. I raise the sword over my head, yelling as I arc it toward Sira.
My blade slices through a puff of smoke as she rematerializes a few feet beside me.
I throw a torrent of thorns at her, but they whiff right through her.
I feel a tap on my shoulder and spin to see her disappearing into fog and then waving at me on my left.
With an angry cry, I swing the sword wildly, desperate to connect with any piece of flesh.
“It’s time to give up, Caspian,” she says, her voice weaving in and out as she darts around in puffs of shadow. “Come back to the Below. You can’t defeat me. Not like this.”
I scream, spinning in a circle and striking the air. She sighs behind me, disappointed.
“You’re not strong enough, Caspian. You’ll never be strong enough by yourself. Not until you accept it.” She appears right in front of me, a wicked smile on her face. “The Green Flame.”
“Never!” But I can feel it, feel it the way I did at the battle of Voidseal Bridge. The trembling fear and rage coalescing within me. It’s like my chest is a forge, the Green Flame stoking my heart.