CHAPTER 41
Claire
It’s April, it’s spring, and the sun is shining its brightest today. I’ve spent the last few weeks job hunting, and today, Monday, is my first day at my new job.
The thought sends me back to my first day meeting Harv.
I remember how much he affected me.
I thought he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen—still do.
I spend a few hours in the morning reviewing my salary and benefits, since I already completed the other employment paperwork online.
It’s a private six-month part-time contract, but it will keep me busy until I figure out what my next move is. Perhaps I’d want to work in a clinic instead of doing private work.
Soon, I get to meet my new patient: Adelina Kent, a seventy-seven-year-old woman who suffered a terrible fall and injured her hip. I spend the rest of the morning doing physical rehab with her.
She’s pretty quiet, and she isn’t moody—unlike Harvey.
Despite all of that, I spend all day missing him. Even when I’m back home making dinner with Audrey and my mom, I can’t help this lingering sadness as I think of him.
I hope he’s keeping up with PT.
I yearn to call him or text him and especially see him, but I know that would be nonsensical. I can’t keep running to him every time. He has to come to me, and he has to be ready to do so.
“Have you heard from him?” my mom asks while Audrey’s on a FaceTime call with her friend, following the latest social media trend by baking muffins.
“No.” I shake my head nervously.
“Aw, sweetie! Claire, I promise you, you won’t regret taking this time now.”
“I know.” I stare at Audrey as she’s laughing hysterically at something her friend says. It makes me smile.
“One day at a time, that’s all you can really do in life.” My mom offers her words of advice.
Knowing that and waiting on it are two very different things.
When I’ve finally showered and I’m in bed that night, I scroll through my previous text messages with Harvey, wishing there were more. I feel like a teen again, wishing that my crush’s name would appear on my screen.
For now, though, I replay the memories I cherish—the ones where we spent time together as friends, and the sexual ones.
Because I miss him in every way.
I get another in-home contract for afternoons, bringing me to full-time hours with the two contracts combined.
My mornings with Mrs. Kent are busy, since my nursing skills are also needed with her.
“Have any special someone?” she asks curiously, in a gentle manner.
“Yes, well, there was.” I keep it short. Clearly, I’ve crossed lines before, and I’m not willing to do it again.
I help her with the movement of her next stretch when she nods. My heart constricts inside my chest, my mind going to Harvey and all that involves him and us .
“I see,” Mrs. Kent finally says with a twinkle in her eye.
Perhaps even when you’ve reached her age, love stories are as magical as ever. It says a lot about what truly matters at the end of the day. To know that at the end of our human lives, despite all the pain and grief that love burdens us with, we still cherish it above all else.
“It’s complicated,” I explain further.
“Love is quite simple, dear. It’s us and our brains who complicate it.”
I smile. “Perhaps.”
I explain the next stretch to her, and we work through a series of exercises. We speak no more of love or Harvey, yet he stays on my mind.
I’m trying to be happy, to move on in some way. I have no guarantee, other than hope, that he’ll come back to me.
So until then, I must keep trotting along, living my best life, and bringing myself back to my happy place.