Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
ALEKSANDR
“The good news is that you do have options.”
The lawyer that Tom recommended sits behind her desk, across from Petra and me.
She’s a severe looking woman in her mid-thirties, with dark hair that’s pulled tight into a low ponytail and dark magenta lips.
“The bad news,” she says, and Petra reaches across the small space between our chairs to grasp my hand, “is that none of them are as easy as what you’re hoping for. ”
“What is our best option?” Petra asks.
“Your fastest option for adopting Stella is to stay married. Petra, you can legally adopt her because you’re a citizen, and once you’ve adopted her, Aleksandr can also legally adopt her because you’re married.”
“But I’m moving to LA. We won’t be living together. Stella will be here in New York with Aleksandr, and I’ll be across the country.”
“You could claim residency in New York, using Aleksandr’s address as your permanent residence.
Then wherever you live in LA could be a temporary residence you stay in while you’re there filming.
You’d have to come back to New York frequently though, at least every other weekend if you want it to be believable that you’re married and want to adopt Stella together.
And you’ll need to move your event planning business to New York too, if you’re going to continue with that. ”
“But all my employees are in Park City,” Petra says, and I hear the worry in her voice.
“I’m not a small business attorney, but I don’t think there would be any reason your employees couldn’t continue to work from Park City. However, if you’re going to be a resident of New York, your business should be here, too, or it will look suspicious.”
Petra sighs, a long, low sound of frustration leaving her lips. I feel the magnitude of what’s being asked of her.
“This feels like everything is coming down on Petra,” I say to the lawyer. “Isn’t there something I could do to make this happen that doesn’t involve her sacrificing so much?”
She squeezes my hand in hers, a small offering of thanks or support or love—I’m not sure which.
“Unfortunately, whereas she’s the US citizen, she’s the one who is going to have to do the work here.”
“That feels very unfair,” I say.
“And yet it’s what the law requires. You could always go the route of getting citizenship yourself, and then adopting Stella.
But as you already know, that process might take a couple years.
I suspect a judge would be sympathetic to you wanting to adopt your niece after her parents’ death, and that the adoption process would be significantly quicker, but I also can’t make any promises.
And you’d have to get citizenship first. There could be any variety of delays, and even if we go for the faster option of Petra adopting Stella, the judge needs to believe that you two are married and living together and in this for the long run, or he might deny the adoption petition. ”
My frustration rattles around in the back of my throat, and Petra looks at me like she’s shocked by the groan I’ve let loose in this office. “This feels like an impossible task.”
“May I ask what the hurry is?” the lawyer asks. “Why not go through the process of becoming a citizen and adopting without involving Petra? You’re already the legal guardian.”
“If anything were to happen to me . . .” I trail off, but Petra picks up and explains about Nikolai and Colette’s will, and how CeCe and Tony tried to get custody and how they are still sniffing around, trying to be part of Stella’s life even though that’s not what her parents wanted.
“You don’t have any specific evidence that your brother and sister-in-law didn’t want the aunt and uncle around?”
“No,” I tell her. “Just that they had separate conversations with me and my sister-in-law’s best friend, Sofia, where they explained their wishes to each of us.” She’s already seen the will, I don’t need to explain that they clearly didn’t include CeCe or Tony in any part of that.
“Keeping families together is almost always the goal,” she tells us, and it’s exactly what Tom had told me and exactly why I’m worried. “But if their wishes are clearly spelled out in their will, I don’t think you need to worry.”
“I wish that was the case, but when the judge decided in my favor, he also said he’d reconsider if I was ever unwilling or unable to serve as Stella’s guardian.”
“Whichever option you choose,” the lawyer says, “I’d get started on it as quickly as possible.
I do honestly think your best option is getting your citizenship and adopting Stella yourself.
Given the . . . unique . . . nature of your marriage, having Petra adopt Stella may be the fastest option, but may not be the wisest.”
“What do you mean?” Petra asks.
“Given the circumstances, if you don’t plan to stay married, things might get messy when you separate.
If you’re the one who has adopted Stella,” she tells Petra, “then that gives you a lot of leverage when it comes to the divorce. It’s possible”—she looks over at me—“that you might not end up with Stella in the end.”
Petra draws back, her eyes wide. “I would never do that. Stella isn’t a bargaining chip, and I’m not looking to gain anything from this, except to help Aleksandr adopt his niece.”
“That’s true right now, but who’s to say what might happen in a year? This whole process might take that long, and adoption is tough even for two people in a loving, committed relationship.”
Her concern gives me a moment’s pause. Petra has put her life on pause to stay in New York and help me over the last couple weeks.
There hasn’t been even the slightest indication she’d do anything that wouldn’t be in my or Stella’s best interest. But.
The word rattles around in my head. But could she?
She’s been extraordinarily honest about the fact that she doesn’t want kids. I know the idea of getting a divorce also weighs heavily on her mind, as she doesn’t want the attention that would bring. Could she—would she—ever use Stella as a bargaining chip to get what she wanted out of a divorce?
Petra wouldn’t do that, I assure myself. But the question is there, digging into the soft spot in my heart that I didn’t even know existed before I had Stella: Are you sure?
Do I know her well enough to know this for sure? How could I guarantee that she wouldn’t cross me down the road to get something she wanted?
I glance over at Petra, who is gazing at me as if she can read my mind and looks disappointed in my thought process. “Thank you. We’ll take your advice into consideration,” I tell the lawyer as I reach for Petra’s hand.
Petra is still working when I get home from picking Stella up at school, and she’s quiet through dinner.
It’s a combination of watching her lost in thought and submersed in sadness—one minute she’s staring off into space, the next she’s choked up while answering a question from Stella.
She’s a hollow shell of herself. I’ve never seen her like this, and it’s breaking my heart to watch.
After dinner, I suggest we walk over to the ice cream stand in the park, and while Stella practically hits the ceiling in her excitement, Petra just says, “You guys go, I should probably stay home and pack.”
“Do you really have to leave? I want you to stay,” Stella speaks the words I’ve been thinking for days.
“Unfortunately, I do,” Petra says. “I have a lot of things going on for work right now, and I have to be there for them. But like I told you the other night, I’ll be back in a few weeks.” Her smile is small and pitiful.
“But at least come for ice cream, please,” Stella draws out the last word for a few seconds, and I hate to see her like this, begging for Petra’s attention.
I equally hate watching Petra withhold it when she doesn’t want to, like she thinks it’ll be easier for Stella when she leaves if she starts pulling away now.
I wish she understood that nothing will make her leaving easier.
If it’s possible to regret letting someone into your life and also wanting to hold them tightly and never let go, that’s how I’m feeling. And I’m pretty sure it’s how Stella is feeling too.
“I wish I could, cutie,” Petra says, then turns her head and gazes out the window.
“Why don’t we take a walk and get some ice cream,” I say to Stella, “and give Petra some time to pack. Then maybe when we get back, we can watch a show together before it’s time for bed.”
“Will you watch the show with us?” Stella asks Petra.
“Sure. I’ll go start packing now.”
The air is warm, and the sky is still quite blue as we head across Fifth Avenue and into Central Park.
I’m confident Stella could find the ice cream cart with her eyes closed.
As we take our treats and walk over to the playground where she sometimes likes to get her energy out at the end of the day, it occurs to me that soon I’ll need to start teaching her how to navigate the city.
Not that she’ll be doing it on her own for about another decade, but just to make sure she always knows where she is and how to get where she wants to go.
I never want her to feel lost or powerless.
I’ll also need to teach her how to keep herself safe, which has me thinking of Petra and how she’s the person I want to ask about this.
I don’t know how women keep themselves safe in a city or how they should react under different circumstances, but I’m confident Petra will be an expert in this area.
It’s interesting to me that the more deeply I think about it, the more I find that Petra fits well into all parts of our life.
Not only because I want to be with her every minute of the day, but also because Stella looks up to her and Petra is exactly the kind of woman I want Stella to grow into—strong, independent, thoughtful.
“What do you think things will be like when Petra is gone?” Stella asks as she leans back on the lip of the fountain overlooking the playground.