Epilogue #3
“I don’t understand how you just slept for an hour and you’re still tired,” Sierra says. “Only I’m allowed to be that tired right now.” She rubs her hand over her belly.
I can hardly keep my eyes open in the back of the car as it bumps along the road outside the city we’re headed to for dinner.
“I think the sun just took it out of me today. After my shower, I felt like I had no energy left.” Sasha glances at me in the rearview mirror and I can see the laughter he’s holding in dancing in the gleam of his eyes.
He knows why I’m tired, and how he wore me out.
Twice. “I don’t even remember lying down, and next thing I know, Aleksandr is waking me up and telling me I have fifteen minutes until we leave. ”
In the front seat, Beau glances over at Sasha and I can tell he wants to say something but is holding it in.
I’m half afraid he knows. There’s a lot more going on behind the party-boy image he’s shown the world for so long.
I’m glad he’s found Sierra and that they’ve settled down in Blackstone with Jackson and Nate.
Both my friends are getting the happily ever after they wanted, and the fact that they get it together is amazing.
“What’s wrong?” Sierra asks. “You look like you’re going to cry.”
Oh God, my eyes are all watery as I think about how happy I am for my friends. And for myself. I got the happily ever after I didn’t think I wanted, and it’s better than I ever expected.
“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just thinking about how lucky we all are. And how happy I am for you and Jackson that you’re both going to be mamas soon.”
“And that got you all teary eyed?” Sierra’s skepticism is clear in her voice. I don’t get sentimental like this. These fucking pregnancy hormones are messing with me. Rein it in, Petra, I tell myself.
“Probably just PMS,” I say.
In the driver’s seat, Sasha snorts, then says, “Sorry. Hormones really are the one thing that makes my wife emotional.”
“Well, that got awkward fast,” Beau says. We drive in silence for the remaining few minutes until we arrive at the restaurant.
Jackson and Lauren are already at our outdoor table with their men when we arrive.
The seating is built into the corner of the deck, with two sides of bench seating covered in cushions and pillows leaning up against the solid deck wall.
This part of the restaurant is built out over the rocky coastline of the Caribbean Sea, with waves crashing directly beneath us on this beautifully warm night.
A palm tree growing on the shore overhangs our table, and string lights are strung between its tall trunk and the roofline of the restaurant.
It’s a magical setting, and I think again about how great Nate is at finding places like this.
He has a knack for ambiance, whether it’s finding the right property to add to his vacation rental empire, or finding the right restaurant for dinner on his wife’s babymoon.
Jackson and Nate are sitting on the benches, and Lauren and her man are sitting in two of the four chairs. “Do you want the bench seating or the chairs?” I ask Sierra.
“I’ll take the bench,” she says. “I can probably get more comfortable there.” Beau helps her get situated and then takes his seat next to her on one edge of the table while Sasha and I take the seats along the other open edge.
The waitress arrives to take our drink orders and I ask for a club soda with lime. “Hold up,” Jackson says. “You can drink all of us under the table and you’re not drinking? At least let me drink vicariously through you. I can’t tell you what I’d give for a margarita right now.”
“We make a really great virgin pineapple margarita,” the waitress says, eyeing Jackson’s maternity dress. “You won’t even miss the tequila.”
“The hell I won’t,” Jackson says, but she’s laughing. “All right, fine, I’ll take a virgin pineapple margarita.”
“Me too,” Sierra says.
When she’s done taking drink orders, the waitress heads off with a promise of returning with chips, salsa, and guacamole. Meanwhile, I try to pretend like I don’t notice Jackson staring at me like she’s trying to figure out if telepathy is real and if she can use it on me.
The guys are asking Aleksandr about the coming season and I laugh, reminding them that the current season just ended a couple weeks ago. I can’t help but think about how different this year is going to be.
At least I know Stella will be the best big sister ever. That girl may be my mini-me, but her heart is bigger and more open, and she wants a little sister more than anything. We’re going to have so much fun bringing another little girl into our family.
On my left, Lauren leans toward me. “Are you really not going to tell them?” she whispers and I close my eyes, focusing on keeping my face as serene and unaffected as possible. “I’m pretty sure they already know,” she continues. “And they’re going to be mad if it comes out before you tell them.”
I lean my head even closer to hers. “How did you know?”
“Besides that adorable belly you are trying to hide under your kimonos and loose-fitting dresses? You also haven’t been drinking even though you are pretending to.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Sierra asks from my other side. “You better not be telling Lauren you’re pregnant and not telling us too.”
Her words are a record screech that brings all conversation and movement to a halt. Mouths hang open, water glasses are suspended in hands midair. I don’t think the entire table could go silent more quickly if I said I was dying.
“Um, what?” I ask, my voice small and high-pitched. I feel Aleksandr bring his hand up to the small of my back, rubbing a circle there.
“I knew it!” Beau says, his face triumphant. “PMS my ass.”
“I don’t even want to know what that means,” Nate says, glancing at his brother-in-law.
When it’s clear I’ve lost the ability to speak, Sasha says, “This isn’t exactly how we wanted to tell you all.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble. “We weren’t trying to lie about it, but this is your babymoon,” I say, looking from Jackson to Sierra, “and I didn’t want to co-opt that with my news.”
No one speaks, we all just look at each other, our eyes roaming around the table making eye contact with every person there. And in those moments, we’re having silent conversations of excitement and apology.
“I can’t believe you’re having a baby,” Sierra finally says, and she sounds breathless. “Like, I really can’t believe it.”
“So eloquent, babe,” Beau teases, then leans over and kisses Sierra’s temple.
“I think this is just a bit of a shock, you know,” Lauren says, “since you were always pretty against having kids.”
“Well, she was always against getting married too, yet she’s been married longer than any of us,” Jackson smiles. “I knew you’d come around.”
“I’m glad someone did,” Nate says, and I shoot him a look in response. “Hey, I’ve known you since you were what, eighteen? You were always a rebel. You always wanted to blaze your own trail—”
“She is blazing her own trail,” Sasha interrupts, and though his tone is supportive, there’s a note of warning there for anyone who’d disagree.
I take his hand and squeeze. “I’m just not doing it alone.”
“Tell us more about this baby,” Sierra says. “How far along are you?”
“Just passed the eighteen week mark. We’re having a girl!”
“What are the chances?” Lauren murmurs. “All of us with little girls. My girls will be so excited to have three little girl cousins.” She beams at the love of her life, and I have this moment of gratitude that after the horrendous year she’s had, things are better for her now than they’ve ever been.
“And now that you’re in Boston,” Jackson says to her, “we’re all finally at least in the same region again.”
The waitress arrives then with our drinks and sets several baskets of chips, along with salsa and guacamole, on our table.
I hold my glass up. “To new beginnings and growing families, and to all being together-ish again!”
There’s a chorus of “yeah” and “hear, hear” and “finally” as we all raise our glasses in a toast. When Jackson says, “This should be an annual trip, next time with kids,” my agreement could not come any quicker or be more adamant.
I settle into Sasha’s side, his arm wrapped around my shoulders as I gaze at the happy, slightly sunburned faces of my family—the one I built for myself—and feel nothing but utter contentment.
If the last couple years have taught me anything, it’s that there will be ups and downs for all of us. But we’ll get through it like we always have: together.
THE END