Chapter 8
Elise – Defensive Play
When Jax kissed me under the ice arches, it took my breath away.
It was unexpected, but felt so right. Shay’s warning about getting involved with an athlete disappeared from my brain as the feeling of being swept away in the moment took over.
When he stopped abruptly and stepped back, then fled after a mumbled apology, it hurt.
Coupled with the online speculation about us that’s still going viral, the confused and empty feeling in my belly is even more pronounced.
I haven’t seen or heard from Jax in almost two weeks, and the news media is reporting he’s likely out for the season, which means I don’t expect to see him at the arena anytime soon.
Despite my turmoil and the intensity of that kiss, I miss our conversations.
Unlike other men in my past, he doesn’t judge, and actually listens to me.
And I feel like I provided the same to him.
The longer the silence between us stretches out, the more difficult it’s going to be to regain that connection.
I want him to know that regardless of what either of us is going through, I value our friendship. But how do I tell him that?
Since I can’t get him and the kiss out of my mind, I put all of that restless energy into creating something for him.
Despite his public persona as a formidable presence on and off the ice, he’s really just a big teddy bear.
And the teddy bear toss was a fun moment for us.
So I carve him a miniature teddy bear as a gift, and infuse some live moss into it, something that will continue to grow as he recovers from his injury and plans for his future.
I’m on my way to West Palm to drop off the gift to Jax and get some work done, when my phone rings. I punch the button on the screen in my car to take the call from Shay. As soon as she speaks, I can hear the excitement in her voice.
“Girl! The package from Ottawa came! I couldn’t help but open it. You’re a finalist! Looks like you need to start prepping for a trip to Canada!”
The butterflies in my stomach suddenly come alive. This is the moment I’ve been working toward for so long. The opportunity of a lifetime. I’m more motivated than ever to get everything finished at the arena in record time so I can add the pieces to my audition portfolio.
I’m still giddy with excitement when I get to the arena and make my way to the workout room where Jax is undergoing physical therapy.
It looks like he just finished the session as he’s mopping his forehead with a towel and talking with the trainer.
I can’t help but notice that rehab version of Jax is as hot as hockey Captain version of Jax.
Friends, Elise. Remember, you’re here because he’s a friend.
He sees me through the glass windows of the exercise room and waves before walking toward me.
“Hey. How’s your rehab going?”
“It’s going. Taking it one day at a time, but the trainer says I’m making good progress.”
“That’s great news. I brought you something. A Get Done with Rehab Soon gift.” I hold up a small cooler. “Corny phrase, I know. But Get Well Soon doesn’t really fit.”
He takes the cooler, pops open the lid, and looks inside.
His broad grin wipes out the awkwardness I’ve been feeling.
“A teddy bear. I like it. Thank you.”
“As long as you keep it cool, the greenery should keep growing.”
He chuckles. “I’ve never been very good with plants. I may need you to help me keep it alive.”
“What are friends for?” And that truly is why I’m here. I don’t plan to mention the kiss, or put any pressure on Jax to define things or share his feelings. I want him to focus on healing and if I can help in any way to facilitate that, then it’s all good.
“Well, friend, you seem to be pretty happy about something. Care to share anything?”
“Now that you mention it, I got some really good news on the way here.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“I heard from a fellowship I’ve applied for in Ottawa. I made the short list and have been invited to interview.”
“That’s great news. I must admit I don’t know much about art, especially ice sculpture. But you already know I think your work is amazing, and this fellowship sounds like a big deal.”
His interest in my work warms my heart. Devin never cared about my career. “Would you like to come to my studio sometime? I could show you more about what goes into the process. I’m going to need to start putting together a portfolio and document my work for the fellowship application.”
“I’d like that. How about tomorrow? I have the day off from rehab.”
The next day, Jax arrives at my industrial studio space at a warehouse complex on the outskirts of Pelican Point.
Shay is here with me going over some of the plans for my fellowship package.
I feel like it’s as good a time as any for them to meet.
Hopefully, once she meets Jax she’ll stop with the warnings and comparisons to Devin.
“Hello? Anyone home?”
I call out to Jax. “We’re back here!”
Jax enters the open work space at the rear of the warehouse. As large as the area is, he still manages to fill it with his massive presence.
“Jax, this is my friend and business manager, Shay Stevens. Shay, this is Jax Morgan.”
Jax extends a hand, and I silently will Shay to behave herself. I breathe a sigh of relief as she returns the handshake, polite, but distant. “Nice to meet you, Jax.”
I give Shay the side-eye, which is her cue to leave. She takes the hint and heads out.
“Welcome to my world.” I wave a hand around the area, pointing out the various work spaces.
On one side of the space, I have a working model of my Ottawa fellowship concept.
“This is my primary piece for Ottawa. It’s an installation exploring how communities can adapt to climate change through resilience and transformation—harnessing the power of ice and living plants. ”
Jax shakes his head. “Wow. This is some setup. I thought hockey operations were complex. This is all way too technical for this athlete’s brain. Your finished work looks like magic, but now I see there’s quite a lot to it behind the scenes.”
“Thank you.” That’s all I can manage to get out as Jax’s praise washes over me, encouraging me to share something else. I point over to the far corner of the room. “Let me show you something else.” I lead him over to the corner, showing him various work stations and displays.
“What’s this?”
“I’ve been experimenting with developing sensory ice play stations for children.
Playing with ice can enhance sensory development, improve fine motor skills, and help with cognitive language and social skills.
In college, I worked on a project involving ice therapy for autistic kids.
One day, I’d like to open up some type of therapy center or program for kids. ”
“You are a damn special woman. I’m sure there are plenty of people that would like to help you make that happen. I’d like to, for one.”
Is he serious? That would be amazing. Not sure what to do with all the emotion I’m feeling right now, I change the subject.
“Since you came all this way, how about getting something to eat or drink before you head back?”
Jax chuckles. “Elise Kinney, are you asking me out?”
I have to laugh along with him. Well, I am getting hungry. I’ve been working all day. I figure you might be hungry, too.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“There’s a fabulous Irish gastropub downtown called the Irish Brogue. Despite the old fashioned name, they’ve got some really good Irish fusion cuisine. The salmon and cucumber bites are to die for.”
“Can’t say I’ve ever thought of merging those two items. But an Irish pub sounds fun. According to my mother, I’ve got a wee bit of Irish blood in me.” He finishes his statement by putting his thumb and pointer finger close together to signify the small amount.
“As do I, me lad,” I joke in an awful Irish accent.
I offer to drive since I know the area. When we’re alone in the car, he brings up the subject we ignored the last two times we’ve seen each other.
“I uh, owe you an apology.”
“For what?”
“For the way I reacted after we kissed. Sometimes I suck at communicating what I’m feeling and that was one of those times.
I shouldn’t have run off without talking to you.
And then I tried to act like it never happened.
Truth is, something did happen. I feel a connection to you. And I don’t know what to do with that.”
Without taking my eyes from the road, I reach out a hand to him, yearning for a connection as well. “To be honest, it affected me too, and I have to admit, it scared me a little, given my history with athletes. I hope you won’t take that personally.”
I pull into the parking lot of the pub and cut the engine. I turn to look at him, since we should probably finish this discussion in private before going inside.
Jax places his hand on my cheek, an intimate gesture that makes me smile.
“How about we take things one day at a time? I’m really attracted to you and I value our friendship.
I can talk to you and I don’t want to lose that.
Plus, we both have a lot going on career-wise right now.
Me with figuring out my future in or out of hockey, and you with a huge opportunity coming your way. ”
“That sounds good to me. Meanwhile, how about a beer?”