Chapter 15
Jax - Aligning Goals
Just like that, my life blew up. One minute, I’m on a high, making love with my forever person and thrilled about the possibility of returning to the ice, and the next minute, Elise is furious, throwing me in the same category as her asshole of an ex.
The look of devastation on her face nearly gutted me, and now I don’t know what the hell to do.
Throw me into a crisis like rescuing a team mate or reacting to a burst pipe and I can take charge without a second thought.
But knowing that I hurt someone I love, trying to figure out how we both can be happy, I’m at a loss.
So I guess I’ll go back to doing what I know—hockey—and try to block out the pain of a relationship down the tubes.
At least I’ve got the sport to go back to, because I don’t know who or what I am without hockey.
I’m on my way to practice when my mom calls.
“Jax, honey. Why haven’t I heard from you? I saw your interview on the news the other night. You and Elise looked great together!”
“Thanks, Mom.” I can’t seem to muster up much enthusiasm or the courage to tell her that Elise and I are over.
Even though she can’t see me, I can’t put anything past my mother. “What’s wrong?”
I take a deep breath and let it out, hoping to release all of the pent-up frustration. “Elise isn’t talking to me. Now that I might be playing again, we can’t seem to figure out how to make things work. She’s focused on going to Ottawa and I’m focused on winning hockey games.”
“What do you mean, you might be playing again? Are you trying to kill yourself?”
“I’ve been cleared for practice, Mom. That’s all. It was unexpected, so I didn’t think there would be any conflicts with Elise’s plans. I’ve never had to consider anyone else before. I’m in unfamiliar territory here and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Oh, honey. I’m sorry you’re going through that.
I know you care for Elise. And what mother wouldn’t want her son to settle down with someone special?
Let me give you some motherly advice. If there’s one thing I regret about my life choices, and this doesn’t diminish my love for you in any way, it’s that I didn’t make a life for myself.
I made your hockey dreams my entire focus.
Everything I did was for you. Once you were out on your own, I had to find myself.
Figure out what my life would be like as someone other than your mother.
Don’t be like me. Don’t allow hockey to be your entire focus, above all else and everyone else.
Find your new passion. Find your person.
From what I can see, you were on your way to doing that with Elise.
Figure out the compromise. Show her that she and her career are important to you.
Make it work. Make it last, so you have something beyond hockey when hockey goes away. Because it will eventually go away.”
My mother is right. By the time I reach the arena, I’ve got a tentative plan. Time to put it into action. I pull Shay’s number up on my phone.
“Shay, this is Jax. Can you put me in touch with the Ottawa fellowship committee?”
I can detect the suspicion in her voice. No doubt, Elise has convinced her I’m an asshole. “And why would I do that?”
“I want to talk to them. Persuade them to reschedule her interview or conduct it remotely so I can be there to support her. If it will help, I can have our owners put in a word with the committee. If there’s a cost associated with rescheduling, I’ll take care of it. I just need to resolve the conflict.”
Shay’s voice comes through the speaker with a screech so loud I have to turn down the volume.
“Conflict? What conflict? Have you lost your ever-loving mind or are you just that self-centered? Are you trying to get her disqualified and ruin her opportunity so you can play a hockey game? How entitled of you, Jax!”
She then disconnects the call, and if it would have been a landline, the sound of slamming the phone down on the cradle would have likely punctured my eardrum. Shit! I’ve screwed this up royally. So much for that plan.
There’s only one way to fix it. Even though I’m sitting in the parking lot of the arena, I place a call to Coach instead of going inside.
“Coach. I’m not going to make it to practice today. Something’s come up. I’ll keep you posted on my availability.”
Before he or I can question my sanity, I put the truck in drive and head for Pelican Point and Elise’s studio.
I find her in the rear of the warehouse area preparing some of her pieces for shipping to Canada.
“Jax. What are you doing here?”
I approach her, searching her face for a clue as to her current level of anger. Not taking any chances, I gently remove the shipping tape dispenser and marker from her hands, so she can’t throw them at me. Placing her hands in mine, I recite the words I’ve been practicing all the way up the road.
“I’m here for you, Princess. I realize I fell into old habits and tried to control everything around me when I was cleared for the ice.
We are partners in every sense of the word, and I’m ready to support you.
Partnerships require compromise and the ability to manage conflict and I’m committing to that with you.
If you’ll have me. I’m here now to help you finish packing up, then I’m going to drive you to the airport tomorrow and put you on that plane to Ottawa. ”
“But Jax, there’s a game tonight. Don’t you need to be there?”
“Here is where I need to be,” I say sincerely. Then I give her a playful nudge. “But since you’re such a hockey fanatic now, we can always listen to the game on the radio while we work.”
She gives me her answer by taking her hands from mine and pulling my face down to hers for a kiss. Thank God. Then she surprises me with a lighthearted suggestion of her own. “If we finish packing everything up quickly, we might just have time to play with some ice.”
Palm Beach International Airport is crowded as usual.
Good thing we left early. I use my hockey connections to get a pass so I can accompany Elise all the way to the gate.
I spent the night at her place last night, which gave us a chance to reconnect in the most spectacular way, using ice in ways I never dreamed were possible.
We’re sitting at the gate, her head resting on my bicep and our legs touching. I can feel her nervous energy emanating from her bouncing leg. I gently rub her thigh to help calm her nerves.
“Princess, you’re going to do great. You’ve got this.”
“It could be the big break I’ve been waiting for. But six months away in a place where I don’t know anyone? That’s going to be hard.”
“Hey, you did it when you moved to Florida. And I’ll come visit as often as possible. I promise we’ll find a way.”
“I hope my portfolio is good enough. Maybe I should have sent more documentation.”
“I’m sure Shay prepared you well for all of that. And the letters of recommendation you got are stellar.”
The fellowship committee sent a first-class ticket, so Elise is called to board in the first group. When we hear the announcement, she stands and puts her backpack over her shoulder. “I guess this is it. Time for me to go.”
I stand up as well and wrap her in my arms, kissing the top of her head. “Knock ‘em dead, Princess. I love you.”
“I love you, too Jax,” I hear her say softly into my chest as I feel the dampness on my shirt from her tears.
After leaving the airport, I head toward the arena. The Blades have home ice advantage so we’re going into game two tonight after a big win last night. Then the team will travel to New York for the next two games in the series.
Before I make it to the highway, my phone rings. “What’s up, Coach? I’m on my way to the arena now.”
“Good thing. Bring all your gear. Cole’s a scratch for tonight. He pulled his groin and is on forty-eight hours of rest in hopes of making it back for the rest of the series. We don’t have time to call anyone up from the affiliate. We need you on the roster tonight, Jax.”
Damn. I need to figure this out quickly. My team needs me, but I need to get to Ottawa to support Elise. This is an unexpected wrinkle. I planned to surprise her in Ottawa to prove that I’m committed to sharing a future with her. I hang up from Coach and place a call of my own.
“Stone, I need a favor. Coach put me on the roster tonight to sub for Cole, and Elise is on her way to Ottawa. Cole’s out for at least forty-eight hours, but he may be good for games three and four. Can you get me on a plane after the game so I can make it for her interview?”
Stone snickers. “You’ve got it bad, man. But I’m all for doing whatever needs to be done in the name of love. Let me make some calls, but I should have you straight by the time the game’s over.”
“Thanks, man, I owe you one.”
I enter the locker room just like I’ve done a million times. Before we head out for pre-game warmups, Coach gathers everyone for a pep talk. Instead of his usual script, he turns to me.
“I’d like to thank Jax for filling in tonight at the last minute. Jax, as our Captain, would you like to say a few words?”
That familiar rush of adrenaline fills my body as my team mates chant Frost! Frost! Frost!
“This could be my last game ever, so I just wanted to say it’s been a great ride with the Golden Blades; now let’s go, boys!”
Despite being cleared to play, I know I need to take it easy and try my best to avoid any hits.
As Captain, Coach has me in for the initial faceoff.
I win the puck and immediately pass it to my Left Wing, then sub out.
We dominate New York for the entire game, taking four times as many shots on goal as the opponent.
As the last seconds of the third period count down, the rush continues to propel me around the rink.
When the final buzzer sounds, the crowd chants Frost!
Frost! Frost! The feeling is both triumphant and bittersweet when the announcer calls me out as the First Star of the Game, most likely based not on my performance tonight, but as a nod to my career journey with the Blades.
I skate over to our PR person for a quick on-ice interview.
Instead of filing out of the arena, most of the fans remain in their seats as long as I’m still on the ice, yelling for my attention when I toss a game jersey into the crowd.
The feeling in the locker room is celebratory as we end up with a five to one win, setting us up nicely for the road games ahead. Coach hands me a game puck, and one-by-one, my team mates shake my hand.