Chapter Twenty-One
This wasn’t like the first time he’d kissed her.
And nothing like the second.
Her brain had gone offline the second Adrial had pulled her into his lap, giving her the first real sense of peace since she’d woken in that hospital bed. Like her entire body trusted the man securing her against his broad frame and she could finally just…let go.
She’d had every intention of getting out the blood and whatever else was making a home out of her hair, but after turning on the shower water, her thoughts had gotten the best of her.
They always did. She was always in her head too much, not living in the present moment, not paying attention to Dan’s latest complaint about upper management screwing over the little guy, always stuck with her nose in a book or the countless other ways she seemed to fail the people in her life over and over.
One stray glance at the bruise on her face had thrown her down a rabbit hole she hadn’t been strong enough to climb out of.
But Adrial was.
He was here. In the shower with her, water dripping down the sharp angles of his face and plastering his hair to his forehead. He was holding her—like he’d known she was seconds away from breaking into a thousand pieces—and telling her he wasn’t going anywhere.
And she needed him.
More than she needed her next breath. She needed to feel something real to keep her from losing herself in her head again.
And so she’d kissed him. Was kissing him.
Those thoughts faded into the background as his mouth moved over hers, as he threaded his uninjured hand into the hair at the back of her neck.
He massaged her scalp, giving her something for her senses to latch on to, and angled his mouth over hers, deepening his access and penetrating the barrier of her teeth with his tongue.
The kiss had started as a way to reconnect with her body, but now, she felt as though she was on fire.
A jolt of voltage raced through her veins the moment she’d pressed her lips to his.
In a matter of seconds, she was reduced to nothing but a handful of sensations and instincts.
Completely aware of who held her and that the past didn’t have a stronghold in this moment.
Home. Adrial felt like home.
She fisted both hands in his jacket collar, silently begging to get closer, but there were too many pieces of clothing between them.
He seemed to understand the desperation roiling through her, but he always had, hadn’t he?
Breaking the kiss, Adrial smoothed her hair away from her face as the most embarrassing whimper left her mouth.
“I’ve got you, Red.” Maneuvering to one side, he peeled the sling from over his neck and tossed it through the open shower door.
She hadn’t realized water was escaping the confines of the shower, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
There were too many emotions clogging her throat and trying to convince her this was a mistake, but he felt so right pressed against her.
Not in the way she’d convinced herself she’d been in love with Dan when they’d met in college, and she found herself going through the motions to make it one more day while her soul slowly rotted from the inside, but like a piece of herself had been stolen the day Adrial left Black Hollow.
And it was finally snapping back into place.
He dragged his jacket free of one arm, then the other, flinching under the strain on his wound.
He wasn’t moving fast enough. The flood building inside of her was going to sweep her under any moment, and he was the only one who could stop it.
Winnie tore at his jacket and tossed it free of the shower, then dragged his shirt over his head.
She forced herself to slow down to be careful around his stitches—knowing he shouldn’t have gotten them wet—and got rid of the soaked material as fast as she could.
Pressing her lips against his chest, she counted off his heartbeats with every kiss as a bit of relief eased through her veins.
His laugh reverberated through her, and Adrial drew her chin up, nipping at her throat. “So greedy.”
She couldn’t wait any longer, straddling his hips right there in the too-small shower.
This feeling—everything she’d tried to bury in the past few days, during her father’s funeral, in the years she accepted her marriage, the heartbreak she hadn’t let anyone see—was seconds away from bursting from her chest, and she didn’t know if she would ever be able to recover from that.
She needed the release. The permission to let go, and he was giving it to her.
Knowing exactly what she needed. Winnie drew her blouse over her head, not bothering to see where it landed.
Adrial’s pupils blew wider as he took her in, his hand stilling at the bottom of her rib cage. As though he’d never seen anything so amazing in his life. “You’re beautiful.” He kissed her, reverently, then again, his intentions clear in that moment. He was going to worship her. “So beautiful.”
“So are you.” She didn’t give herself a chance to sink into embarrassment as she devoured his mouth all over again, tilting his head back.
He was beautiful. Not just physically, but in the way he’d risked his life to give her a chance to escape the killer and how he’d given clear directions to shower and taken care of the paralysis that sometimes came with making decisions on what to eat and when.
In seconds, Winnie had discarded her too-tight jeans and stripped free of her bra and panties.
He did the same with the rest of his clothes, revealing all that hard muscle, an entire playground of skin she couldn’t stop herself from touching and the second stab wound in his thigh.
Winnie couldn’t make herself believe this wasn’t some kind of dream she’d wake up from.
That he was really here, touching her, holding her, silencing that internal critic and bringing her to the edge of release over and over until the sobs broke free and she was begging for him.
Only when that flood of raw emotion had been depleted did he push her straight over that cliff and cross his own finish line.
He’d caught her before the crash, before giving away too many pieces of herself for years had eaten her alive from the inside and destroyed what was left for good.
Adrial peppered kisses over the bruise along her face as the world righted itself again, his strong hand holding her head level.
She could breathe. She could feel. Her brain wasn’t trying to sabotage the moment as he reached up and grabbed for the travel-size shampoo she’d brought, or as he’d worked it through her hair.
Her mind was clear as he rinsed the evidence of what they’d done from her body with gentle strokes of body wash and turned off the shower spray.
Even quieter when he guided her from the shower and dried her off from head to toe before dressing her in her favorite sweatshirt and sleep shorts.
Euphoric bliss warmed her from the inside out as she sat on the edge of her dad’s waterbed and waited for Adrial to dry, but she couldn’t hold back the laugh as he tugged on one of her father’s—presumably clean and much too large—T-shirts and a pair of old jeans.
Beads of water clung to his hair as he stepped free from the bathroom and offered her his hand. “I had your favorite pizza delivered.”
And then it happened.
The moment she’d dreaded arriving the second she’d stepped into his office at Cold Hollow Investigations became a reality.
Because she’d known it was bound to happen.
How could it not when it’d been so easy to fall in love with him the first time around?
A tugging that had nothing to do with how hungry she was started in her stomach, then spread like warm honey into her chest. It was familiar and made her feel less alone but stronger.
She’d thought she’d loved him all those years ago, but this…
She couldn’t describe the feeling that’d stolen her next breath.
Like all those jagged pieces of glass inside of her had finally been ground to dust. They couldn’t hurt her anymore, couldn’t tear her apart or cut any deeper.
Because he’d demolished them in a matter of days.
“Those have to be the most romantic words anyone has ever said to me.”
Adrial’s smile lit up his entire face, and for once, the shadows in his gaze were nowhere to be found. She’d believed him beautiful before, but this… He was exquisite. “Come on. Let’s get you fed.”
“Second most romantic words anyone has ever said to me.” Winnie slid her hand into his, memorizing the calluses in his palms all over again.
The shower had washed away the physical dirt and grime she’d been carrying since the incident at the lake, but inside, she felt entirely new as they made their way to the kitchen.
The pizza had gone cold, but there wasn’t anything the microwave couldn’t do, though she had to hold the door closed to get it to work.
How her father had lived in such disrepair…
No. He didn’t get to intrude on this moment.
She wanted these ones with Adrial to last, and maybe she was being a bit of a coward by ignoring the world outside these four walls, but reality sucked.
And it’d been sucking for a long damn time.
The pizza wasn’t the best she’d ever had, but every bite hit right as she sat across from Adrial in comfortable silence as they might have if they’d gotten married.
And, afterward, when he’d collected her paper plate and gotten her a glass of water and directed her to her childhood bedroom and slid beneath the covers behind her, she let herself imagine what life could be like with him.
Well, minus a few details, including the N*SYNC and Backstreet Boys posters hanging on her walls.
The lava lamp probably wouldn’t have come with her, but she definitely would’ve packed her purple satellite chair. Because…naps.
“That was…perfect.” Winnie slid her hand over his resting at her hip.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been held like this, with a strong thigh tucked between her knees, like he couldn’t get close enough and his beard tickling the back of her neck.
Every muscle in her body felt as limber as a wet noodle.
There was no chance in hell she’d be able to do more than fall straight to sleep tonight, but for the first time in years, she wouldn’t be doing it alone.
She’d missed that. Missed him and the way he seemed to fit against her so perfectly.
And while they hadn’t talked about any kind of future past their plans for the investigation, she knew she wanted more nights like this.
She wanted to be wanted. Loved. Accepted.
Maybe Baxter was right. Maybe Adrial considered her more than an obligation and there were feelings on his side, too.
She’d spent so many years waiting for Dan to notice her, hoping he could see what was right in front of him, but she’d never gotten the courage to outright ask for what she needed.
She wanted to be brave now. Because Adrial had been brave for her. “Adrial?”
His sleepy hum had her turning to face him.
She was careful with his wounds, trying not to shift too suddenly.
His eyes were closed, his face soft and free of all that pain he carried.
Framing his jaw with one hand, she skimmed her thumb along his cheekbone.
She kissed him, the feeling light and dreamlike, a perfect reflection of what she felt inside.
“I think I… I think I’m falling in love with you again. ”
That got his attention. He snapped his eyes open, his hand tightening on her waist, and Winnie couldn’t help but smile as the split second of surprise etched into his expression.
But instead of pulling her closer, Adrial tossed the covers off and left the bed. She didn’t understand. Where was he— “This was a mistake.”