Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Finn
The trip ended, but the season didn’t slow down. Practices ramped up, games doubled, and every morning felt like waking up inside a meat locker, half-frozen and already behind. Nash and Leo started timing how long it took me to get out of bed, betting push-ups on the over/under. Most days I lost.
But I didn’t mind. I’d stopped dreading mornings. Sometimes, if I got up early enough, I’d catch Brody in the trainers’ room before anyone else—just the two of us, quiet and hungry, him drinking black coffee and me pretending to read the scouting report.
He was different now. Still cautious, still covering every move, but lighter. Like the part of him that was always bracing for impact had started to believe maybe this time he wouldn’t get blindsided.
We had a rhythm: me in his room after curfew, or him in mine, or sometimes just driving to the river and parking on the far side, where nobody went unless they were up to something.
We talked a lot—about the season, the team, where we might be in five years if we didn’t get run out of town.
He’d lie with his head on my chest, eyes closed, and let me play with his hair.
One night, after a brutal double loss, we lay in his bed and listened to the city through the open window. The air was freezing, but neither of us wanted to move.
He said, “I never thought I’d have this.”
“Have what?” I asked.
He shrugged, fiddling with the hem of my shirt. “You. Us. Any of it.”
I kissed the top of his head. “I never thought I wanted it.”
He laughed quietly. “Liar.”
“Okay, maybe a little.”
He rolled over, pinning me with his knee. “You’re not scared?”
I thought about it. About Dylan, the rumors, the way every team bus and locker room still hummed with old-school shit that never quite died. About the headlines that could drop if anyone really wanted to hurt us. About what I’d do if Brody lost his job, or if I did.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m scared.”
He nodded, a little sad. “Me too.”
We lay there, not moving, until the cold got to be too much. He reached for the blanket and pulled it up, wrapping us both tightly.
He said, “Do you ever think about just running away?”
I grinned. “With you?”
“Yeah.”
“Where would we go?”
It was a fun fantasy, one that could never happen, but that was exciting to imagine.
He thought about it. “Portland. Or maybe, somewhere with a hockey team that doesn’t suck.”
I snorted. “So, not Portland. You wouldn’t want to go somewhere tropical or exotic?”
He hit me with a pillow, and we wrestled for a second, then he froze—serious all of a sudden.
“I don’t know. Maybe. My fantasy is just being with you,” he explained. “I’m so tired of pretending. But I don’t want to lose what I have, either.”
I stared at my hands, searching for an answer I didn’t have.
“You won’t lose me,” I said, finally. “No matter what.”
“I’m sorry that I’m not braver,” he said.
I turned and kissed his hair. “You don’t have to be. I can take the hits for a while.”
He smiled. “Teamwork.”
My heart danced in my chest. It hit me like a puck to the throat. I tried to play it off, but my heart was sprinting. This incredible man had made me realize that I could have love. And, I loved him.
I wanted to say it, too. So I did.
He looked at me, and I saw the fear there, mixed with something I couldn’t name.
“I’m falling for you,” he said, barely audible over the traffic.
I felt it in my whole body, like taking a puck to the ribs, but in a good way. I wanted to say it again, but the words felt small. Instead, I took his hand and squeezed. “Then we just have to not fuck it up,” I said.
“I love you.”
His eyes went wide, and his smile beamed. “You love me?”
“Yes. I know it’s fast, but I just need you to know,” I told him.
I kissed him, hot and heavy, then sweet and passionate. When we pulled away, Brody was staring deep into my eyes.
“I love you, too. Do you know that?” he asked, his eyes searching deep into my soul.
“Yeah,” I managed. “I know.”
He laughed, shaky and a little embarrassed. “I’ve never—never told anyone that before.”
I touched his face, tracing my thumb down his jaw. “I know.”
He kissed me then, hard and deep, and I let go of everything I was supposed to be afraid of.