7. Kai
Chapter seven
Kai
When I asked Hayes to film content on his farm, I thought it would be a good excuse to spend time alone with him. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it might involve engaging with the farm life.
In theory, I like animals. Chickens are everywhere in Hawai’i, and the roosters can be mean. Hell, I have cousins with farmland. Still, the closest I got to a pig was at a luau. Kalua Pork is delicious, but I never considered what the pig eats.
With an old, metal can filled with some type of grain in one hand, my phone in the other, I’ve been filming since I followed Hayes out of the barn.
I may not post this, but it will be fun to watch later.
At least that’s what I’m telling myself as my heart practically beats out of my chest with the adrenaline of hunting down Hayes missing creatures.
We’ve got the creatures in our sight, and now I’m wondering what we do next. “Do we lasso them or something?”
Hayes snorts and shakes his head. “I wear a cowboy hat for the shade, not because I carry rope with me everywhere.”
“Oh, right,” I nod, though I have no clue what rope has to do with my question. “So…”
“Shake your can until they start coming towards you, then we’ll lead them back to the barn.”
“That’s all?” I ask, feeling like I’m missing something.
“Well, they might start chasing you for the food,” Hayes explains and I can hear the laughter in his voice. He thinks I can't handle this.
The bigger of the two pigs, the one without spots I am guessing is called Pinky, turns towards me and snorts a grunting sound followed by a squeal. His nose is red like he just killed a small animal and I can’t help the yelp I let out when he picks up speed in my direction.
Running in the opposite direction, I look back to see the other pig and the goats have joined in. Tossing some of the food out as I go distracts the goats, but not the pigs, who are making god-awful noises that I imagine mean, “You look tasty, we’ll eat you!”
Okay. Maybe I can’t handle this.
“You’re going the wrong way,” Hayes calls out, and I swear he’s laughing at me again. “Circle back towards me.”
Rounding a tree, I run towards Hayes. He’s walking slowly backwards with the goats following and making cute bleating noises. Why do I get the demon pigs while he gets the adorable, fluffy animals? Here I thought goats were the wild ones.
“Your pigs want to eat me,” I yell as I pass him, panting heavily.
Hayes does laugh at that as he turns to jog beside me.
He’s not breathing hard at all, only a light sheen of sweat glistening from the hot afternoon sun.
Damn. I work out regularly and I’m soaked.
It’s important when your brand is wearing clothes and occasional modeling.
But maybe my trendy exercise routine isn’t as cardio-focused as it should be.
When we’re at the back entrance to the big white barn, a pig lets me know I’m paying too much attention to his farmer daddy by goosing me. Jumping into the air at the butt intrusion, the rest of my can of feed goes flying along with my phone.
“Fuck, shit,” I cuss, rushing to hide behind Hayes as I scoop up my phone and tuck it into a pocket for safety. “Do they have teeth?”
Hayes opens a wooden gate and leads the goats in. “Of course. But they like their feed better, and it makes their teeth more blunt.”
“How do you know? They’ve bitten you before, haven’t they?” I exclaim, following him to open the pin for the pigs but keeping my distance.
“Sure, but no serious injuries,” he insists, closing their gate and tossing the rest of his feed into a big bowl inside.
A shudder runs through me even though their curly piggy tails are wagging as they eat. “So they got a taste of human flesh and want more.”
“Are you saying my pigs are zombies?” Hayes asks and I see the grin making his mustache twitch.
“Maybe,” I mutter, following him to the big bin of feed where he’s scooping out more. “What kills zombies?”
“I imagine a bullet to the head kills zombies,” Hayes muses like this is a real issue and not me being dramatic. It makes me smile and eases some of my anxiety. “Which will happen next week to these two.”
“What?” I squawk, shocked at the turn in conversation. “Are you saying they do need to be put down?”
“They’re castrated, but it’s time for them to be butchered. I’ll have pork for a year off two pigs. I even sell some or give away cuts I don’t like as much.”
His explanation is so matter of fact, but now I feel bad for the demon pigs. It’s weird to meet the animal knowing it will be eaten. A thought occurs to me and I gesture to the goats he’s feeding now. “What about Slim and Jim?”
“These two are pygmy’s, so I use them for clearing brush and to entertain my niece,” Hayes tells me, reaching down to pat one of their heads before exiting their pin. “I get Boer goats for meat sometimes. They’re not as nice.”
“So you only have pigs and goats and chickens?” I ask, wanting to be sure I’ve accounted for everything.
“No, I’ve got a Dexter bull and heifer as well.
” Hayes leads me to a pen I hadn’t looked in yet and points to the two small red cows with short legs and no horns.
I don’t think they’re babies, but I thought cows were bigger than this.
“I want these two to breed so I get milk and a calf for meat next year.”
“Why are they so little?”
“Their breed needs less land to graze because they’re naturally smaller. Perfect for my farm,” Hayes explains and I meet his warm, hazel eyes. His knowledge makes him even hotter, and I wonder if I have a competency kink.
“Thanks for answering my random questions.”
“Not a problem. I like telling people about my produce at the stand, and my niece is even more curious than you,” Hayes tells me, and I’m reminded that he lives here. The animal stuff is his every day. “Want to feed the chickens and get cleaned up?”
Looking down, I realize I must smell from sweating through my clothes and my hands are filthy. “Oh, yeah. That would be great.”
We go back out the other side of the barn, which he leaves open. I don’t want to tell him how to do his job, so I follow him to the chicken coop while taking in the property from another angle.
“It’s gorgeous here.”
“Thanks,” Hayes gives me a proud smile and looks around like he doesn’t notice it all since the view is what he sees every day. “It can be pretty flat and dry out here, but surrounding the property with trees helps it look greener for most of the year.”
“Most of Maui is green year-round but in a very different way.” Looking past the house and through the open gate, I can see palm trees lining the road, and foothills rising up to mountains in the west. “Though you have some things in common.”
Hayes pours the chicken feed into multiple feeders and closes the door. “Let’s see if they’ve laid any eggs since I checked this morning.”
Leading me around to the back of the coop where it’s more shaded from the trees on the fence line, Hayes unlatches a small door. I step closer on a little brick that makes me almost as tall as him. Nestled in some yellow straw is an egg.
“Oh, wow! There’s a blue egg in there!”
Hayes leans closer, his front against my back. “Must be from one of my Ameraucanas. The Buff Orpingtons lay golden eggs and the Rhode Island Reds lay light brown.”
“Next you’ll tell me there’s green eggs,” I reply in a low tone, very aware of Hayes’ proximity.
“There is,” Hayes replies, turning his face until our lips are only a breath apart.
Licking my lips, I catch Hayes watching the movement and think about that long ago blow lob. I decide to go for what I want.