30. Hayes
Chapter thirty
Hayes
So far, my plans have gone smoothly. I didn’t expect Kai to bring me flowers, and my body feels warm everytime I think about them, sticking out of the edge of my parents’ old picnic basket.
It’s big enough that I remember my mom using it as a Moses basket for my sister, and I’m excited to add another memory to the worn wicker.
Running into Paxton and Tommy went well.
I know them from school, since we’re the same age and grew up in Foggy Basin, but I heard from Kriten that he’s seeing a guy named Callum, so I was hoping it was a welcoming environment.
I keep having to remind myself that there are queer people all over town.
“Are these the pickles I helped with?” Kai asks, pulling me back into the moment. Instead of sandwiches, I made us an assortment of fruits, vegetables, preserves, bread, cheese, and meat to graze from. “They’re so good!”
“Everything except the bread and cheeses are from my farm,” I admit, hoping it’s not too boring of a date for Kai.
He doesn’t look unimpressed when he gives me a giant smile and scoots to sit closer to me. “You’re amazing, do you know that?”
“I–” I don’t know how to reply to the compliment.
My first thought is to deny his assertion and say I’m just a farmer.
But I remember reading something while researching my internalized biases.
Your first thought is what society has trained you to think.
Your second thought is how you really feel.
I want to thank him for making me feel important and worthy of his time.
“Thank you. I think you’re pretty amazing too.”
“Me?” Kai asks with pretend shock, giving me a wink before finishing off his pickle.
I love his confidence and how it makes me want to embrace my own strengths as well.
I also think it comes from a place of Kai’s own internal fears he isn’t good enough.
False bravado I want to turn into real confidence.
“Yeah, you. You’re smart, always thinking of new ideas,” I go on. “Plus you have an amazing eye for what will appeal to people from the clothing you wear to your online presence. I can see why you got a degree in marketing. And besides, I wouldn’t want just anyone to move into my house.”
Kai is quiet for a second, taking a sip of his mead as he looks off toward a field blowing in the light breeze. Thankfully, it’s not as hot today.
“Most people compliment my good looks first,” he finally says, and I know it’s an attempt at humor as deflection.
Leaning in to cup Kai’s face, I wait until he meets my eyes. “You are gorgeous. The most beautiful person I’ve ever met. But I like you for a whole lot more than your looks.”
“Because I’m also great in bed?” He quips, a half smile lifting one side of his mouth.
“The best,” I agree, grinning back. “You helped me understand my own sexuality, Kai.”
“So…” He doesn’t move, but he worries his full lower lip until I use my thump to free it. “Now you can explore with more people?”
It’s obvious Kai is fishing. He’s only twenty-five, I get that it’s scary to share real feelings. I don’t want to shy away from saying what I’m thinking though. Kai might think my declarations are too much, but at least I’ll know.
“I don’t want anyone else but you.”
We sit together for a long moment, eyes on one another as the world disappears around us, my hand still cupping his face and Kai thinks. Finally, he moves closer so that our foreheads touch and he closes his eyes.
“Me either,” Kai finally replies and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.
“Stay,” I blurt, my mouth always saying what my heart wants around him without thinking. “Don’t go back on the road. You can fix every building on the farm and every room in my house for content. Hell, I’ll build you a whole new house if you want.”
My words hang in the air like a balloon that’s low on helium and won’t float away as Kai scoots back just far enough to see my face.
His eyes dart between mine before he sets his mead glass down in the basket so it won’t fall over.
I watch all of this with my heart in my throat, waiting for his response.
“I’d ask if you really mean it, but I know you’re the type of man who always says what he means,” Kai states. When I go to assure him I am, Kai puts his fingers over my lips. “I want to stay with you Hayes.”
“Yeah?” I ask, a croak in my throat from the emotions surging through me. “It’s not too weird to ask on a first date?”
“What’s moving in together when I already live in your house?
Plus, I kissed you for the first time six months ago, Farmboy.
” Kai grins at me and moves to straddle my lap.
I don’t care that we’re within full view of the meadery and parking lot as I grip his hips and look up at him.
“And I’ve already fallen in love with you. “
A gasp reaches my ears and it takes me a moment to process that it came from me. Instead of asking if he means it, I capture his lips in a kiss, pulling Kai hard against me before dropping back to look him in the eyes again.
“I’m so far gone for you,” I admit, like my romantic date and previous declarations hadn’t already made that clear. “I love you, Kai.”
Kai grins and gives me a dirty look. “Then you better help me pack all of this up and get me home, Farmboy, because we need to celebrate properly.”
The mead gets recapped and the food hastily thrown in my basket as we race for the truck. I think I leave my blanket behind, but I can get it another day. I’m cursing the closed gate when I pull up at home, but Kai hops out before I even come to a full stop, pulling it closed behind him.
“You didn’t have to close it–” I start when Kai hops back in but he interrupts as I drive up to the house.
“I’m taking you to bed and not letting you out, so I hope you fed the animals before we left.”
“I did.”
After that, we’re all hands and mouths on our way to Kai’s room, and I hope it can become our room. One night in his bed and I never want to leave.
Prepping Kai has me right on the edge, and when I finally slip inside of him, we finally take a moment to slow down. Kai is in my arms, strong legs and arms wrapped around me when I push his dark hair back and kiss his eyelids.
“I am so in love with you,” I say again, loving the way the words feel on my tongue. “I want to spend every night in your arms.”
“Damn, Farmboy,” Kai lets out a huff that’s halfway between laugh and surprise. “Keep talking like that and I’ll never leave.”
“That’s the plan.”
We fall into a kiss, taking our time as we both come undone, and I know I’ve found the person I’m meant to be with until the day I die.