Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
“Ooh, you smell good,” Hannah said as she hugged Iris hello.
“Thanks, I have so much to tell you.”
They were meeting at their favorite coffee shop, Merriweather, halfway between Iris’s West Village apartment and Hannah and Mike’s new place in Tribeca with good caffeine-free options for pregnant Hannah.
They sat at one of the outdoor tables on the sidewalk of Hudson, in the dappled shade of the generous ginkgo trees whose roots splintered the concrete bed like balsa wood.
“I’m sorry I look like I just rolled out of bed. I’ve been up late working on this new project at work.”
“The big new development—you got it?”
Iris nodded, Hannah squealed, and they high-fived across the table. Hugo barked in excitement.
Iris recounted the Monday afternoon when Frank called her in to his office, reliving every detail:
Frank had said, “You knocked his socks off last week. Jonathan loved your pitch for 270 Eleventh Ave.”
Your pitch— Iris broke into a smile. “That’s awesome!”
“It really is. And he was particularly impressed by you and your vision for the project. Now, I know this was sort of a joint thing between you and Nate—”
“Well—”
“But Jonathan is a particular kind of developer, he picks his people and he works them, hard. He dresses like he’s perpetually on vacation, but the man doesn’t sleep.
Not when there’s money to be made. And for all the growth Wolff Dev has had in recent years, he keeps his team lean.
He hates waste, he can be very exacting. And he wants you.”
Iris swallowed.
“Unfortunately, Nate kinda rubbed him the wrong way.”
Now she knew she liked him.
“But a redesign of this size, it’s a lot for one person. Do you feel comfortable taking on this project on your own?”
“Absolutely. I’m prepared, I’m ready to work.”
He clapped his hands. “Wonderful. Thank you for stepping up, Iris. This is big. But I think you can rise to this occasion.”
“Thank you, I will.”
“This is profile-raising for Candela. I shouldn’t speak too soon, but if things go well with Wolff Dev—I’m ready to promote you to partner.”
She nodded, radiating with ambition’s toothy joy. “I won’t let you down.”
“Only problem is, we gotta figure out what to do about Nate. I’m going to let him take over your account with Harry Winston, so the added commission will soften the blow.”
And cut into Iris’s total compensation. “You know they’re so picky. I don’t know if Nate has the patience for them.”
“But now that we know what they like, the account is on autopilot. And believe me, you’re gonna have your hands full with Jonathan.”
At this point Hannah groaned. “Wait, why does Nate get a consolation prize for making a bad impression? Typical man, failing upward.”
“I know. But I wanted to pick my battles, and Wolff is the prize. Plus, Frank is right, it’s a lot of work. I’ve wanted this opportunity, but now that I have it, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little intimidated.”
“Aw, well, that’s normal. But this brilliant Wolff guy wouldn’t have chosen you for no reason.”
But was it the right reason? Iris thought of the perfume.
“Don’t make that face. Iris, this is a good thing! Don’t be afraid to bet on yourself!”
“You’re right, and I am. With Frank’s promise on the promotion, I decided to take the plunge and officially move forward with my egg freezing. I start at the end of my cycle.”
“Omigod, yay!” Hannah clapped. “I’m so proud and happy for you! I think this is a really great call.”
Iris nodded. “Thanks. It was the push I needed. That, and seeing how Ben has moved on. I have to too.”
“Exactly right. To moving on!” She lifted her lemonade for a toast. “Speaking of, is this an okay time to tell you that Mike wants to invite Ben to his birthday party?”
“I guessed that was a given.” Mike and Ben’s friendship predated either relationship with the two women. Iris and Ben had introduced Hannah and Mike, and Iris had envisioned a lifetime of couples trips, another dream shattered in the breakup.
“But if seeing him makes you uncomfortable, I will use my I’m-ruining-my-body-for-your-seed veto power to ax him from the guest list.”
Iris waved her off. “It’ll be fine.”
“You’re taking this better than I thought. You sounded so sad after you ran into him, but now you seem so much…lighter. I’m loving it, but what brought on this new unbothered vibe?”
A smile curled on Iris’s face like a feather on a cat’s lip. “Well, that’s what I really wanted to tell you about, but you’re not going to believe me.”
Iris filled her in on Madame Rapacine’s gift and its miraculous effects, including her night with Rhys Elliot.
Hannah screamed in delight, startling the people at the table next to them. “You slept with a bona fide celebrity? Tell me everything! I’m hard up. These pregnancy hormones have me so horny, but Mike has turned into a nun.”
“He doesn’t want to have sex?”
“No, and I never thought he’d be like this!
He’s always had a healthy sex drive, and he’s always been so cool about having sex on my period—sorry, overshare—I thought he would be into it.
But now he’s like a nineteen-fifties husband, all weird about the baby ‘feeling it’ or something.
I’m like, the baby is not in my vagina, you have a law degree, how can you be this ignorant? ”
“Men can’t resist the fantasy that their dick is so big it could dislodge a baby.”
Hannah chuckled before her expression darkened and she made a little pout. “I can’t help but think it’s about my body not being attractive to him like this.”
“No! It’s not that. You look beautiful.”
“Let’s be real, I look different. I look big.
I feel enormous. Weird thing is, this is the first time in my life that my sex drive has outpaced my body insecurity.
Normally I only want to have sex when I feel attractive.
Now, with all the hormones, I want to have sex even though I feel like a whale. I’m a horny whale.”
“Aw hon, you’re being too hard on yourself! Have you tried talking to him about this more explicitly?”
“Like sexting?”
Iris chuckled. “No, I mean like an open discussion about feelings.”
“Of course not. I rub my butt against him in bed, and when he doesn’t instantly get hard, I feel rejected and say nothing and resent him the next day. And if Mike truly loves me, he will learn to read my mind!” Hannah banged her hand on the table, making Iris laugh again and startling Hugo.
“Talk to him. Maybe he doesn’t know you’re in the mood, or he worries your body is uncomfortable right now.
I feel like ever since I got this perfume, I’ve learned that attraction is not as visual as we think.
This scent is speaking to some subliminal, primal stuff, and it’s more powerful than if I were the hottest girl in the room. ”
“Iris, it’s a beautiful fragrance, but that’s not what got your groove back. You’re healing, you’re feeling yourself, and it shows.”
Iris shook her head. “You’re wrong. I can look like absolute shit, like right now—”
“You do not look like shit.”
“Bana, you know I do.” Iris only used Hannah’s childhood nickname when she was really being ridiculous.
And right now it was appropriate, because Iris was wearing her giant, tattered Penn State tee, basketball shorts that used to belong to Ben and came down to her knees, and the beat-up Dansko clogs she normally relegated to dog walks.
Her dirty hair was half yanked up in a Pebbles Flintstone ponytail, she wore no makeup except last night’s eyeliner, and her glasses were smudged.
“But it doesn’t matter. I’m wearing the perfume, so I can get any guy. ”
Hannah narrowed her eyes, then her gaze traveled somewhere above Iris’s head. A sly little smirk appeared on her face. “All right, Bike Hottie in the blue shirt.”
Iris looked over her shoulder and saw the man she was talking about. A super fit guy wearing a tight blue Under Armour T-shirt that showed every muscle. He was sitting on a bench, tapping away on his phone, his ears plugged with earbuds. His bicycle was propped against the bench beside him.
“I dare you to go over there and get his number.”
Iris snorted. “Hold Hugo.”
Iris sauntered over to the man and sat down on the bench next to him. He didn’t seem to notice her, and Iris didn’t elicit his attention in any way. Instead, she sat back on the bench and stared right back at Hannah, a bored expression on her face.
Thirty seconds later, Bike Hottie looked up. He glanced over at Iris, almost puzzled. He took out his earbuds, ran his fingers through his hair, and stole another glimpse of Iris. After another moment of fidgeting, he smiled and said something.
Hannah couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the body language was clear: this gorgeous man was, a little nervously, chatting up her friend. And in just a few minutes, they were exchanging phone numbers.
Then Iris pointed at the bike.
The guy laughed again, and Iris touched his arm and said something else close to his ear. Bike Hottie nodded. They stood, hugged, and then Iris took his bike by the handlebars, swung her leg over, and rode it back toward her astounded best friend.
Hannah’s jaw hung open. “Are you effing kidding me?” She pushed herself up from the table and laughed in shock. Hugo whined at her feet and tugged the leash toward his mom. “He gave you his bike?!”
Iris smiled, growing wobbly again as she slowed down and hopped off the seat. “He lent it to me. His name is Joe. He’s a personal trainer. He said he’d come get it tomorrow if I let him buy me a beer.”
“I can’t believe it. Neither can the baby, they’re kicking like crazy.”
“I told you, it’s the perfume! But hang on, I gotta give this back to him now. I didn’t give him my real phone number.”
Iris returned to their table, where Hannah was waiting with her most mischievous grin.
“Okay, we have to use the perfume at Mike’s birthday party. I mean, this is revenge body in a bottle!”
“I thought we just toasted to moving on.”
“We want Ben to eat his heart out. We don’t want him back! ” Hannah often used the best-friend version of the royal “we” when discussing their problems; their perspectives were always in sync.
“Totally.” Although this time she wasn’t sure she was on the same page.