Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-seven
The first thing Iris wanted to do when she got home was see the only boys who never let her down, Roman and Hugo.
Roman and James had dogsat Hugo at their apartment—newly uncramped after Jonathan set Veronica and her kids up with a temporary apartment, rent-free, while a lawyer, also on Wolff’s payroll, looked into their eviction case.
Roman had offered to drop the dog off Monday when he had a showing nearby, but Iris couldn’t wait.
She took a cab to his place straight from the heliport.
James was at rehearsal, so Iris filled Roman in on the entire weekend over a glass of wine, or two, with Hugo on her lap for comfort.
“So what did Jonathan say when you kissed him?” Roman asked.
“He said, ‘Thank you, but—’?”
Roman recoiled with secondhand embarrassment. “Oh, not ‘ Thank you!’?”
“I know. I should’ve walked into the sea. He said, ‘Thank you, but I want to protect our working relationship.’?”
“Okay, that’s not that bad.”
“Right, he was nice about it, which makes it so much worse!” Iris cringed so hard that her body felt like it would implode. “He was such a grown-up, and I was so unhinged. I think I was just sad about Gabe, and it was such a lovely day…but I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking.”
“You got horny for the real estate. I see it every day, I show a client book-matched marble behind a deep soaking tub, and they need a cigarette. It’s why we put so much money into staging. That luxe lifestyle is intoxicating.”
Iris thought she was attracted to Jonathan’s personal qualities, and maybe his azure eyes, but Roman was right: Jonathan’s lifestyle was its own perfume.
“There’s no way he’s offering me the Wolff Dev job now.
I’ll be lucky if he doesn’t terminate Candela’s contract with Oasys and I lose my job altogether. ”
“Wolff said he values your working relationship, that sounds like he wants it to continue.”
“I’m a walking sexual harassment case. You better find a new place for Veronica and her kids, quick.”
“Don’t even joke. That’s why I gotta give him the benefit of the doubt, he saved our lives with that apartment hookup. James and I are Team Wolff.”
“He’s a great guy, great dad, treats his employees like family…and I ruined it !” Iris flopped over on the couch in agony.
“You’re being dramatic. He’s a straight guy, I’m sure he was flattered. You really think the man had you spend the day with his daughter and then took you on a moonlit walk on the beach because he didn’t want to get personal? Whether he said no or not, he wanted it.”
“Please, the date rape defense is not making me feel better.” She set Hugo on the floor and began to leash him up. “Anyway, thank you so much for taking care of Huey, you’re the only friend I trust with my son.”
“Anytime, I’m his guncle.” Roman reached over to ruffle Hugo’s ears. “But before you go, I actually want to talk to you about something kind of serious.”
Iris sat up and listened. She thought Roman looked nervous.
He took a sip and began. “As you know, James and I have been talking about our future for a while. And now that Veronica and them are settled, at least temporarily, we’ve had a chance to revisit the issue and talk about what we really want.
And it was a very open and honest conversation, I think you would’ve been proud of me. ”
“I’m always proud of you.” Iris already guessed that the news was they were splitting up.
“Family is important to us. And although James and I may view marriage differently, one thing we’re on the same page about is wanting a child.”
Her sip of merlot leaped into her windpipe. “Whoa. Okay, but…isn’t a kid an even bigger commitment than marriage?”
“Definitely. But commitment isn’t our issue.
I thought James wanted marriage from a place of insecurity, which felt like moving backwards.
But he expressed to me that he just felt like we had stagnated, and honestly, I’ve felt that too.
We love each other, we can get married anytime, or not.
The more meaningful next stage of our relationship, the one we want to invest and plan for, is starting a family.
” Roman frowned at her. “What? What’s that face? ”
Iris closed her jaw. “No, nothing, I mean, I’m surprised. I didn’t know you were considering this. But I’m happy for you.”
“You inspired me! I’ve been so impressed with how you’ve bounced back after Ben and taken control over your fertility and investing in your future family.
It got me thinking, I need to be proactive too.
So, James and I went back and forth over whether he should be here for this, but we decided I’d broach it with you first, and you just take your time thinking it over.
Obviously, it won’t be the last time we discuss it. ”
Iris was still smiling but her brow began to furrow.
“We wanted to ask you if you would donate an egg to us.”
Iris was too stunned to speak.
“And not for free,” Roman continued, eyes wide. “I know this retrieval process has been a burdensome expense, so our idea is that we would help you finance it, provided we can use one of your leftover eggs.”
Iris struggled to think while her stomach flipped. “It’s not like a cookie recipe, you need more than ‘one large egg.’ The rule of thumb is ten eggs retrieved to produce one healthy, successfully implanted embryo. I have no idea what I’ll get with this round. I might need a whole ’nother cycle.”
“All right, well, I admit we’ve only just begun our own research on all this. If you don’t get enough, forget it. On the other hand, if a second retrieval would yield more and give us more cushion, James and I would happily help pay for another round.”
“I don’t think you understand what a physical undertaking this is for me—”
“To be clear, we’re not asking you to carry it. We’d get a surrogate. I just figured, it’d be a lot to ask you to go through this process only to be our egg donor, but you’re doing it anyway, and I can help cover the cost, it could be win-win!”
Iris thought he made it sound like a two-for-one deal. “I’m on high doses of hormones, I have daily injections, pelvic exams, mood swings. It’s not a walk in the park.”
“Okay. See, I didn’t know that—I’m still educating myself! From my perspective, it seems like you’re brighter than ever, you have this new energy. I notice it, James has noticed it, maybe hormone therapy suits you.”
Then a realization dawned on her with a sickening clarity: This is because of the perfume. “Roman…”
“But listen, this is a big idea. It means our kids would be half-siblings, and you’d be the biological mother, however we’d handle that—there’s a lot to figure out. So just think about it. Don’t answer now.”
Iris raked her fingers through her hair. “You know, you’ve never expressed this desire to have kids before.”
“I’ve thought about the possibility. It’s not the expectation that it is for straight people…”
“But have you asked yourself, why now ?”
“I told you, because James and I realized we were—”
“Stuck, I know, but a child is not a solution to a stalled relationship. Completely independent from me or my involvement, you have to think this through.”
“I am.” Roman was beginning to sound annoyed.
“And why me ?”
“Iris, you’re my best friend of more than a decade. And James adores you, he always has. I mean, we’ve always joked if I liked girls, we’d be married already! It’s not a totally crazy idea.” He chuckled.
Iris remained grave. “Roman, what if it’s just the perfume?”
He wrinkled his nose. “What?”
“A week ago, you didn’t want to get married, you didn’t even seem entirely sold on monogamy. Now all of a sudden you want to make a baby with me? You don’t think that’s a big swing for two weeks?”
“I’m offended you’d think I’d decide something so important based on how you smell. I’m not an idiot.”
“The perfume works without you knowing it! It plays tricks on your mind. How do you not see it? We tested it together!”
“I’m not some stranger trying to get in your pants. I know you’re not trying to be hurtful, but this is actually insulting. It’s not the fucking perfume.”
“You don’t know that. It makes sense, the perfume can’t change your orientation, but maybe it can still trigger some animal instinct in you to mate with me. So I wear it around you and James, and all of a sudden, Hey, let’s have a kid together. It’s like I inadvertently drugged you.”
“You sound crazy right now.”
“No, you do! You and James have stopped fighting for what, a week ? Get real, you guys aren’t remotely ready to become parents.”
“Where do you get off criticizing my relationship? I can’t believe you would judge me like this, you of all people.
” Roman stood up and began to pace. “When I’ve always supported you and whatever choices you made in your love life.
Did I say shit when you were begging Ben to propose, and at the same time flirting and fantasizing about Nate ? ”
Iris felt like she’d been slapped.
“Yeah, your married coworker whose attention you were so thirsty for that you cried when his wife got pregnant?”
Shame burned on her cheeks. Iris gathered Hugo’s leash and stood to leave. “I told you about those feelings in confidence, and you know I never acted on it.”
Roman followed her to the door. “Oh, believe me, I know. Because you never act on anything! You stay right where you are and complain and cry to me! And you hope to God somebody else makes the decision for you.”
Iris spun to face him. “You just liked that it was the one time I was almost as messy as you.”